Advice pls. My guy is best friends with his ex.

He so needs to show more respect for YOU

I know right? Maybe when he sees your comments he'll be able to reflect. But really, right now, we're fine. I saw where he was coming from. We had talks like considering settling in the Philippines instead of in UK, and he has suggested this. Somehow it tells me that he's ready to leave everything behind. Although we both decided against the idea when we learned we could not live as comfortable as we would like in the Phils. (Even when I become a teacher and him teaching in a university or something) I only tolerate it because I know the friendship is purely platonic. It's amazing how a sincere, honest talk can sort something like this out.

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Of course, sir. I believe that's right.

Hi Jenibele,

It looked to me that things were not right between you, you even said you were not talking.
I responded because of this but then you say everything is ok?
Did you have an "honest talk" with him since you started this thread?

In my opinion, I wouldn't tell him you have sought advice about your relationship concerns from people on a public forum, that will not be received well, I fear.
Take the advice from people here and then sort out the issues in private with your boyfriend.

It's basically this.

If you are otally cool about the whole thing, you are happy for him to carry on like this and are sure he'd be equally cool if you were to do the same, then fine. No problem.

If, as you initially seemed to be, you are not happy about it - even a small amount - then they have to know they can't sleep in the same room at all.

It's all down to how you feel about it and how much he will respect your feelings. Ask him if he would not do it if you didn't want him to. See how he reacts.

And one thing i've noticed, You don't need an advise actually because it seems to me that you are "accepting things the way your BF is showing you", even to the point that you are a bit questioning the purpose of it.Like being bestfriends with ex?That they have to sleep in one room, was there really a need to do so?I know how you feel right now and i do undertstand that.You're young and willing to give him the "benefit of the doubt".But if you'll ask me more... and me speaking from experience?when i have doubts, i am often right! Take the women's instinct....Gut feel as they say!
As a Filipina, i always praise strong women, but if i am disrespected especially in a relationship...i back off!

I'd heed that advice. Yes, we had an honest talk about it. We have been okay with this issue since. I feel he was like testing the waters, is that a possibility? Was he looking to see if I will be jealous about it? It sounds a bit immature though. Dang, I am totally not gonna let him see this thread now. Hahaha

"I only tolerate it because I know the friendship is purely platonic" well, straight from you..you believe it is platonic ...so i think , discussion ends here

You don't seem the jealous type.
My Filipina wife would have ripped my eyebrows off and stuck a sharp object in my itlogs if I told her I was sleeping in the same room as an "ex".

I'm sorry? I don't think I comprehend that well. As I said before they were best friends first before they were lovers. It didn't work out, they shifted back to being friends. They "don't need to sleep in one room" just for the sake of it. He lives in Wetherby and she'll be in Nottingham. You know what's cool about it, Ate is that I do not feel like he can betray me like that. I would have to disagree about "accepting the things he is showing me" it is why I posted this thread in the first place. I'll be back soon. Dinner time!

Quite.

K is officially not jealous. Her reaction when she found an item of feminine apparel* in the hotel room that we were staying in which she did not recognise suggests that there may be limits to "not jealous".

* it was hers; she had forgotten that she had bought it.

Are you sure it wasn't "planted" there?
It happened to me once, a long, long time ago in my single days.

It's not just about the physical side, you know. Who is more important to him? You or her?

I've had many female friends in my life. It's never the same as with male friends. And I certainly wouldn't go and stay with any of them now that I am married unless my wife was with me. And I'm no "good boy" by any means.

hahahha we Pinays are jealous, when we know our stand..we call it here "Karapatan"

Haha, I had to laugh again. Maybe not quite. Or maybe not yet?? The stereotyping about jealous Filipina wives and gf doesn't not apply to me not even with somebody he used to get physically intimate with, I know my worth. But the "tampo attacks" sure do.

Yes sir, before I learned the history naturally, I was not happy. Hmm. Haha, me doing the same to him sounds immature as I think I would just be doing that to get back at him. Totally not my cup of tea. If I have to do that I'd say no thanks and move on.

Over five years I have learned to embrace tampo and allow it to run its course , I find this thread interesting because it says more about each of us than the unknown Chris, clearly if he had been untrustworthy he could easily have hidden his friendship and given nothing to cause any concerns , far better to present yourself as you are , and in so doing see the other more clearly as well

I need to choose my words carefully here... As good looking heterosexual women go, K is quite "boyish". Let's say she is more into swimming and hiking than needlework and flower arranging. Courage and fortitude are amongst her traits; compulsive tidying of rooms is not...

And I would not change her for the world.