Pregnant ex-gf moving back to PH

Hi,

I need some advice about a situation I’m currently in.

I met a wonderful Filipina woman (B) in London last year, we began dating and became more serious and we fell in love. She became accidentally pregnant and our baby is due in June this year.

Our relationship since her pregnancy hasn’t been good. We don’t live together, but I love her and I want to start a family either in London or PH.

At the time of us meeting, I was in another relationship, which I have recently ended to be with B. B says she has feelings for me, “maybe Loves” me but has trust issues and feels heartbroken.

I’ve always told her the truth about my intentions with her, and I want to repair our relationship and be together.

Her communication with me seriously declined after her pregnancy, she became avoidant and began taking revenge via social media by showing only herself on beaches in bikinis, seemingly advertising herself as single.

Since that time she has taken trips to Paris, Spain and at Christmas to the PH with a man she recently met but who she says was not her ‘boyfriend’ although if you see the photos from her friends social, they are both holding hands, kissing, etc… I believe the trip to Paris and Spain were also with other men, but her social only shows photos herself , and not who is behind the camera.

This has been hard for me to deal with.

She lives in London and has a working visa, and needs one more year to ger her ILR, however she now tells me that she will probably go back to PH for the birth and to remain there.

In the UK I have no parental rights until the baby is born. If B goes back to PH she will most like end all communication and never allow me to see my child, which for me is heartbreaking.

I am literally trying everything I can to win her back, but the more I try the more she pushes me away.

My instinct tells me that she has been dating and going on vacations with other men. She told me that the last man she went to PH with loves her too. I don’t know why she has made our situation more complicated.

We had a heart to heart recently, and she told this same man that she is thinking about getting back with me…

It’s now Valentines week, she’s blocked me on WhatsApp and mostly ignores me on insta.

I want a serious relationship with her, and I feel so disrespected. I’m taking the punishment so that there is a chance that I can have a relationship with my child in the future.

With all due respect sir (from what you've written)...DON'T.

Hopefully in the future, if a sensible and unemotional relationship with the mother can be maintained, then access to your child...assuming it IS yours, will come easier, and you will not waste your life (as I certainly have done in the past) chasing a woman who is clearly not the right one for you.

Thanks for your reply.

I’m confident that the unborn child is mine. Initially she denied she was pregnant, so that I could carry on with my life.

I feel heartbroken that I’m unlikely to ever meet my child, plus I have zero paternal rights atm.

This isn’t the first time; She has another teenage child living in PH who has never met the father, and I was supportive of her situation.

I feel screwed!

i cant help thinking mr Ash or mr Boots has paid us a another visit.

Who are Mr Ash and Mr Boots? My post is genuine

Not a lot to add

i think you will be, screwed that is if you persevere with this situation!
Many points of issue here, from what you say in your first post the lady in question is playing the field.

I feel screwed if I do and screwed if I don’t.

When we used to go to events or restaurants in the past, I would always picked up the tab, on the other she used to cook for me and sometimes help clean my house. Shen never asked me for money and is quite independent, have a career within a British institution and a small side business.

I don’t feel that there is a financial risk, just that her intentions are either with someone else or that I’ll be blocked forever.

By chance, she has agreed to see me tomorrow, however this could easily be cancelled.

Do keep us informed sir.

"She lives in London and has a working visa, and needs one more year to ger her ILR, however she now tells me that she will probably go back to PH for the birth and to remain there."

"is quite independent, have a career within a British institution and a small side business."

and you seriously think she is going to risk her ILR to go back to the philis ?
half the pinay population would swap places with her in an instant.

Shes history pal--and probably lying to you.

Time to move on.

Firstly "Good time Girl" comes to mind, secondly do you really believe that she would give up her ilr with just a year to go ? and thirdly the child to be born in Phills ?when if it's born here in the UK it will be using the NHS (no cost) and the baby will be British, I think this woman find's it hard to lie in bed straight, that's without the flings that she seems to enjoy..
Your say you yourself won't see the child which incidentally could possibly not be yours, If you really really want a family there is nowt stopping you visiting the Philippines and finding a good lady without the baggage that B has in abundance, then you could start a family of your very own and know pretty much 100% that YOU are the father, from what you say this woman is not worth losing any sleep over you will never be able to trust her and that is not how to build a stable relationship.
Your meeting her tomorrow ? forget it tell her you have better things to do, she can always fall back on one of her other BF's..

That’s a good point, however she doesn’t have family or so many friends in London to help her when the baby arrives. Ideally it would be me supporting her, but at this moment she hasn’t given me much info about the pregnancy.

my hunch is that she’ll go back to PH 1 month prior and spend some time there before returning without our child to complete the 1 year.

I’m sure she is aware that my paternal right start at birth, even though she says my name won’t be registered as the father.

yes, it’s messed up. My motivation is my child atm.

I’m usually good at red flags and this type of drama, I would walk away, but there is a risk of losing contact with an innocent child that is likely to be mine.

The child if born in UK won’t natural be granted British citizenship unless I’m registered as the father.

It feels like a game of chess, because I believe she wants the option of the ILR, she has been speaking with lawyers re her rights.

It’s annoying that she leads on other guys who should know better.

The last guy booked a flights to spend Xmas with her in PH after knowing her for 3 weeks. I’ve know her for over 1 year.

Let us know how it goes

You have a strange outlook on what defines “a wonderful Filipina”. From your description, I would hate to meet a bad one haha !

I would be making damned sure the child was mine, first off.

Mr G definitely has/is.

She was truly wonderful at the beginning, pretty, reserved, shy, sweet, happy, and genuine. It’s my fault that I was already in a relationship when I met her, but no more. She became upset, untrusting, and unkind, probably because she felt hurt or betrayed. But my instincts sensed that there was still some feeling somewhere there.

sorry, but who are these people?