Pregnant ex-gf moving back to PH

GJD223 · Feb 25, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

Final Update:

Thanks to everyone for their advice and comments on their experiences of living in the PH, it’s certainly been interesting to read.

I said last time that I would end the thread, but thee has been quite a development, unfortunately. It’s not pleasant to write, and if you’re already think this story is either dramatic fiction or plainly not true, by all means please stop reading here.

I asking for a view on my situation, in case there is something I’ve missed.

Last we B sent me a one word message ‘babee’ accompanied by sad face emoji on insta, I called her but no answer, and I asked her to unblock me on WhatsApp so that we communicate better, which she did. She told me that she had had a routine appointment for the pregnancy (roughly 25 weeks I’m lead to believe) and that the heart beat was weak. She had ‘paid’ for further injections to assist the pregnancy and reduce the chance of a miscarriage. Naturally I was concerned.

She had been feeling emotional, hormonal and stressed, which she said was being caused by me. She has a day job and also works on her private business in the evenings. She lives alone. She has been deliberating whether to stay in the UK for ILR or travel back to live in PH and give birth. I haven’t harrased her, threatened her, intimidated her, stalked her, humiliated her. I’ve only messaged her about my good intentions, good feelings and concern for her well-being.

On Tuesday she blocked me on instagram and has seemed to delete her prized account. I don’t know why, I had messaged her their since we moved back to WhatsApp. Red flag perhaps.

On Wednesday, she contacted me on WhatsApp with a brief message to say that she had been bleeding in the night. She had gone to hospital. I called her several times but she didn’t answer. I replied to her message saying that I was worried, and to let me know how she and the baby are. I asked which hospital she was attending. I could see that she read the message, but nothing in reply.

Knowing approximately where she lives (street level) I contacted the 5 of the closest NHS hospitals. Not any private hospitals. Knowing her full name, DoB, and Postcode the hospital staff were able to check their records in order to locate her, however nothing surfaced.

I was starting to be very concerned and confused. I made here aware that the hospitals could not locate her. She then replied that she had requested Safeguarding, no NOK. She didn’t tell me about her well-being. It was another red flag. No news on her health but safeguarding? I’m not a threat to her, and I’m currently in Europe.

I asked her again, for more info. Later she said that our child was lost. She told me that she spent 3 hours in labour. I felt crushed and was incredibly upset for her and myself. We messaged each other, I was being supportive and loving and suggested that I take a flight back to London. But I still didn’t know which hospital she was staying at. Ultimately, she blamed me, saying that it was my fault, what I had wanted, and that I won! Obviously, this was hard to take, but I understood the emotions she might be feeling. I planned to take a flight the next day.

On Thursday I was driving to the airport. We messaged and she told me that she would be leaving the hospital that afternoon, a friend was collecting her and she would stay with a friend. I again asked which hospital she was staying at.

She replied with a photo of a hospital bed, the lighting was dark and something didn’t look right. She has the later iPhone with a great camera. I copied the photo and uploaded the image to Google to reverse search inorder to find any matches. After a few seconds I found an exact match on Pinterest. She has sent me a fake photo of her hospital bed, one which I had not requested. I then had a strong suspicion that she was playing me. A part of me felt relieved, but mostly I was distraught, heartbroken.

I asked B if she had taken the photo. She replied ‘Why?’. I said that the photo looked dark. She said the photo was taken early in the morning and that she had sent the same photo to her Mother in PH. I then send her a screenshot of the search engine results, proving that she had sent me a fake photo of her in a hospital bed.

The game was up!

I asked her what was happening?

she replied, “you think you’re clever, I’m clever too, I knew you were going to do that”.

Obviously not the response I was expecting from a woman who had experienced a still birth the day before.

I told her that i was shocked, she was playing games with a situation so close to my heart, and that it was impossible to understand. I asked her for any evidence of the pregnancy or hospital discharge papers. She gave me nothing.

I cancelled my flight.

1. Was she ever pregnant?
2. Was she pregnant and had a miscarriage?
3. Is she still pregnant and pretending to have had a miscarriage ?

How will I ever learn the truth. Apparently, stillbirth are public record, perhaps I could try there.
Click to expand...

1. NO
2. NO
3. NO

your right,unfortunately you have been well and truly kippered by an unstable fruitloop. I hope you haven’t parted with money. Get out while you still can, tell her where to go and move on.

PhilPensioner · Feb 26, 2024

Thanks for the laughs anyway.

aposhark · Feb 26, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

Final Update:

Thanks to everyone for their advice and comments on their experiences of living in the PH, it’s certainly been interesting to read.

I said last time that I would end the thread, but thee has been quite a development, unfortunately. It’s not pleasant to write, and if you’re already think this story is either dramatic fiction or plainly not true, by all means please stop reading here.

I asking for a view on my situation, in case there is something I’ve missed.

Last we B sent me a one word message ‘babee’ accompanied by sad face emoji on insta, I called her but no answer, and I asked her to unblock me on WhatsApp so that we communicate better, which she did. She told me that she had had a routine appointment for the pregnancy (roughly 25 weeks I’m lead to believe) and that the heart beat was weak. She had ‘paid’ for further injections to assist the pregnancy and reduce the chance of a miscarriage. Naturally I was concerned.

She had been feeling emotional, hormonal and stressed, which she said was being caused by me. She has a day job and also works on her private business in the evenings. She lives alone. She has been deliberating whether to stay in the UK for ILR or travel back to live in PH and give birth. I haven’t harrased her, threatened her, intimidated her, stalked her, humiliated her. I’ve only messaged her about my good intentions, good feelings and concern for her well-being.

On Tuesday she blocked me on instagram and has seemed to delete her prized account. I don’t know why, I had messaged her their since we moved back to WhatsApp. Red flag perhaps.

On Wednesday, she contacted me on WhatsApp with a brief message to say that she had been bleeding in the night. She had gone to hospital. I called her several times but she didn’t answer. I replied to her message saying that I was worried, and to let me know how she and the baby are. I asked which hospital she was attending. I could see that she read the message, but nothing in reply.

Knowing approximately where she lives (street level) I contacted the 5 of the closest NHS hospitals. Not any private hospitals. Knowing her full name, DoB, and Postcode the hospital staff were able to check their records in order to locate her, however nothing surfaced.

I was starting to be very concerned and confused. I made here aware that the hospitals could not locate her. She then replied that she had requested Safeguarding, no NOK. She didn’t tell me about her well-being. It was another red flag. No news on her health but safeguarding? I’m not a threat to her, and I’m currently in Europe.

I asked her again, for more info. Later she said that our child was lost. She told me that she spent 3 hours in labour. I felt crushed and was incredibly upset for her and myself. We messaged each other, I was being supportive and loving and suggested that I take a flight back to London. But I still didn’t know which hospital she was staying at. Ultimately, she blamed me, saying that it was my fault, what I had wanted, and that I won! Obviously, this was hard to take, but I understood the emotions she might be feeling. I planned to take a flight the next day.

On Thursday I was driving to the airport. We messaged and she told me that she would be leaving the hospital that afternoon, a friend was collecting her and she would stay with a friend. I again asked which hospital she was staying at.

She replied with a photo of a hospital bed, the lighting was dark and something didn’t look right. She has the later iPhone with a great camera. I copied the photo and uploaded the image to Google to reverse search inorder to find any matches. After a few seconds I found an exact match on Pinterest. She has sent me a fake photo of her hospital bed, one which I had not requested. I then had a strong suspicion that she was playing me. A part of me felt relieved, but mostly I was distraught, heartbroken.

I asked B if she had taken the photo. She replied ‘Why?’. I said that the photo looked dark. She said the photo was taken early in the morning and that she had sent the same photo to her Mother in PH. I then send her a screenshot of the search engine results, proving that she had sent me a fake photo of her in a hospital bed.

The game was up!

I asked her what was happening?

she replied, “you think you’re clever, I’m clever too, I knew you were going to do that”.

Obviously not the response I was expecting from a woman who had experienced a still birth the day before.

I told her that i was shocked, she was playing games with a situation so close to my heart, and that it was impossible to understand. I asked her for any evidence of the pregnancy or hospital discharge papers. She gave me nothing.

I cancelled my flight.

1. Was she ever pregnant?
2. Was she pregnant and had a miscarriage?
3. Is she still pregnant and pretending to have had a miscarriage ?

How will I ever learn the truth. Apparently, stillbirth are public record, perhaps I could try there.
Click to expand...

Time to draw a line in the sand and move on.
Chalk it down to experience and now you're free

Mattecube · Feb 26, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

Final Update:

Thanks to everyone for their advice and comments on their experiences of living in the PH, it’s certainly been interesting to read.

I said last time that I would end the thread, but thee has been quite a development, unfortunately. It’s not pleasant to write, and if you’re already think this story is either dramatic fiction or plainly not true, by all means please stop reading here.

I asking for a view on my situation, in case there is something I’ve missed.

Last we B sent me a one word message ‘babee’ accompanied by sad face emoji on insta, I called her but no answer, and I asked her to unblock me on WhatsApp so that we communicate better, which she did. She told me that she had had a routine appointment for the pregnancy (roughly 25 weeks I’m lead to believe) and that the heart beat was weak. She had ‘paid’ for further injections to assist the pregnancy and reduce the chance of a miscarriage. Naturally I was concerned.

She had been feeling emotional, hormonal and stressed, which she said was being caused by me. She has a day job and also works on her private business in the evenings. She lives alone. She has been deliberating whether to stay in the UK for ILR or travel back to live in PH and give birth. I haven’t harrased her, threatened her, intimidated her, stalked her, humiliated her. I’ve only messaged her about my good intentions, good feelings and concern for her well-being.

On Tuesday she blocked me on instagram and has seemed to delete her prized account. I don’t know why, I had messaged her their since we moved back to WhatsApp. Red flag perhaps.

On Wednesday, she contacted me on WhatsApp with a brief message to say that she had been bleeding in the night. She had gone to hospital. I called her several times but she didn’t answer. I replied to her message saying that I was worried, and to let me know how she and the baby are. I asked which hospital she was attending. I could see that she read the message, but nothing in reply.

Knowing approximately where she lives (street level) I contacted the 5 of the closest NHS hospitals. Not any private hospitals. Knowing her full name, DoB, and Postcode the hospital staff were able to check their records in order to locate her, however nothing surfaced.

I was starting to be very concerned and confused. I made here aware that the hospitals could not locate her. She then replied that she had requested Safeguarding, no NOK. She didn’t tell me about her well-being. It was another red flag. No news on her health but safeguarding? I’m not a threat to her, and I’m currently in Europe.

I asked her again, for more info. Later she said that our child was lost. She told me that she spent 3 hours in labour. I felt crushed and was incredibly upset for her and myself. We messaged each other, I was being supportive and loving and suggested that I take a flight back to London. But I still didn’t know which hospital she was staying at. Ultimately, she blamed me, saying that it was my fault, what I had wanted, and that I won! Obviously, this was hard to take, but I understood the emotions she might be feeling. I planned to take a flight the next day.

On Thursday I was driving to the airport. We messaged and she told me that she would be leaving the hospital that afternoon, a friend was collecting her and she would stay with a friend. I again asked which hospital she was staying at.

She replied with a photo of a hospital bed, the lighting was dark and something didn’t look right. She has the later iPhone with a great camera. I copied the photo and uploaded the image to Google to reverse search inorder to find any matches. After a few seconds I found an exact match on Pinterest. She has sent me a fake photo of her hospital bed, one which I had not requested. I then had a strong suspicion that she was playing me. A part of me felt relieved, but mostly I was distraught, heartbroken.

I asked B if she had taken the photo. She replied ‘Why?’. I said that the photo looked dark. She said the photo was taken early in the morning and that she had sent the same photo to her Mother in PH. I then send her a screenshot of the search engine results, proving that she had sent me a fake photo of her in a hospital bed.

The game was up!

I asked her what was happening?

she replied, “you think you’re clever, I’m clever too, I knew you were going to do that”.

Obviously not the response I was expecting from a woman who had experienced a still birth the day before.

I told her that i was shocked, she was playing games with a situation so close to my heart, and that it was impossible to understand. I asked her for any evidence of the pregnancy or hospital discharge papers. She gave me nothing.

I cancelled my flight.

1. Was she ever pregnant?
2. Was she pregnant and had a miscarriage?
3. Is she still pregnant and pretending to have had a miscarriage ?

How will I ever learn the truth. Apparently, stillbirth are public record, perhaps I could try there.
Click to expand...

Lots of unanswered questions and scenarios that may never be answered for you
Either chase the truth which could make you or destroy you, or move on forgetting what may or may not of been.
I wish you well, whatever path you choose.

Tintin2024 · Feb 26, 2024

PhilPensioner said: ↑

Thanks for the laughs anyway.
Click to expand...

Well it wasn’t supposed to be funny, but I suppose there is some tragic comedy in there for a distant perspective .

GJD223 · Feb 26, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

Well it wasn’t supposed to be funny, but I suppose there is some tragic comedy in there for a distant perspective .
Click to expand...

unfortunately I think most people reading your posts knew what the outcome looked like from the onset. It never painted a fairy tale from the beginning. Without knowing both sides of the story, something was amiss from the start and I for one could not tell what this women’s motives were.

aposhark · Feb 26, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

Well it wasn’t supposed to be funny, but I suppose there is some tragic comedy in there for a distant perspective .
Click to expand...

I think a lot of us couldn't make head nor tale of your situation.
There were red flags everywhere and the situation was all wrong and you seemed to be obsessed by everything she did, but as I mentioned before, you can start again looking for a nice Filipina.
Take a trip over there and don't let one bad apple spoil your outlook on life and love.
Many of us have had, and are having, very difficult challenges in life and we all need to keep being positive because the alternative is a waste of time.

Heathen · Feb 26, 2024

I agree with what apo has said, time is a great healer though you may not think so right now, you have to get this episode of your life out of your mind I know it's easier said than done..
From what you have said you have plenty of time on your hands and your not short of a few bob, start by booking yourself a flight to the Philippines and go with an open mind, you have had plenty of suggestions about where to go, what you do will depend on your own personal taste as an example there are plenty of Bars in AC (personally that's not for me as I rarely drink) getting around the provinces is much more my preference, as a european you will likely be called by the american forces nick name of "Joe" I always reply with No I'm Tommy , I think i can safely say you will not be short of lady friends wherever you travel to in Phills and there are plenty places to visit out in the provinces..
I wish you well but you need to get out and about and put this sad episode behind you, you won't do that by sitting at home brooding...

wardy33 · Feb 28, 2024

My first trip to the Phils was to Boracay, with 3 mates we went there and found it was full of loved up couples not what we were expecting, was in a bar chatting to an ex pat a Welsh fella he said what are you boys doing here said travelling around he said you need to go to Angeles city if you cant' find a girl you like there you never will , he was right we went there, ended up two of us married another still there never left, this was after a few Years , we had a great time there loved the place and was fed up once back in the U/K so made a home there with 3 months there 3 months back in U/k did that for years 38 trips to the phils, my advice is go there meet the Ex pats there they will guide you through the system, its takes some getting used to phils women are very attractive and you will fall in love very quickly if its the right one is the test you will go through, took me a while to find a really suitable Wife and we are happy here in the U/K now but both miss the place.

Tintin2024 · Feb 28, 2024

aposhark said: ↑

I think a lot of us couldn't make head nor tale of your situation.
There were red flags everywhere and the situation was all wrong and you seemed to be obsessed by everything she did, but as I mentioned before, you can start again looking for a nice Filipina.
Take a trip over there and don't let one bad apple spoil your outlook on life and love.
Many of us have had, and are having, very difficult challenges in life and we all need to keep being positive because the alternative is a waste of time.
Click to expand...

You’re right. It’s a horribly messy situation, the first I’ve ever experienced. I suppose I’ve been trying to find out the truth. Was she pregnant, is she still pregnant or did she actually lose our child. I just want confirmation so that I can process and have some peace, and move on.

Tintin2024 · Feb 28, 2024

Heathen said: ↑

I agree with what apo has said, time is a great healer though you may not think so right now, you have to get this episode of your life out of your mind I know it's easier said than done..
From what you have said you have plenty of time on your hands and your not short of a few bob, start by booking yourself a flight to the Philippines and go with an open mind, you have had plenty of suggestions about where to go, what you do will depend on your own personal taste as an example there are plenty of Bars in AC (personally that's not for me as I rarely drink) getting around the provinces is much more my preference, as a european you will likely be called by the american forces nick name of "Joe" I always reply with No I'm Tommy , I think i can safely say you will not be short of lady friends wherever you travel to in Phills and there are plenty places to visit out in the provinces..
I wish you well but you need to get out and about and put this sad episode behind you, you won't do that by sitting at home brooding...
Click to expand...

Good advice, much appreciated, have passport, must travel…

Tintin2024 · Feb 28, 2024

GJD223 said: ↑

unfortunately I think most people reading your posts knew what the outcome looked like from the onset. It never painted a fairy tale from the beginning. Without knowing both sides of the story, something was amiss from the start and I for one could not tell what this women’s motives were.
Click to expand...

I think her motive is driven by her age, hormonal changes in her body telling her to have a baby or get married, who knows! She has a huge distrust of men in general but wants a fairly tale disneyesque relationship with a man. At our age, unless you’re a 40 year old virgin like the movie. Everyone has a past, exes, baggage, it’s how we deal with it and remain positive that counts.

PorkAdobo · Feb 28, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

I just want confirmation so that I can process and have some peace, and move on.
Click to expand...

No. Just leave it. Be thankful she didn't (hopefully) scam you for money. Making further contact with the girl for "closure" is not going to be of any benefit to you. It's just another opportunity for her to elaborate on her story and you'll probably get sucked in again.

And do your research before you think about going to Angeles. If you just want to shag around, knock yourself out. I would fear for you that one sob story and suddenly you'll be investing in a piggery in Samar and building a 2 storey house in the arsehole of nowhere.

wardy33 · Feb 28, 2024

I loved Angeles but I like woman and enjoying myself, sat in some small house in the province with nothing to do all day is not for me , yes you have to be a bit streetwise to live there and avoid piggerys canteens and rice plantations or investing in any of that, but its not boring , live life go there and enjoy it ...

Tintin2024 · Feb 28, 2024

PorkAdobo said: ↑

No. Just leave it. Be thankful she didn't (hopefully) scam you for money. Making further contact with the girl for "closure" is not going to be of any benefit to you. It's just another opportunity for her to elaborate on her story and you'll probably get sucked in again.

And do your research before you think about going to Angeles. If you just want to shag around, knock yourself out. I would fear for you that one sob story and suddenly you'll be investing in a piggery in Samar and building a 2 storey house in the arsehole of nowhere.
Click to expand...

She never asked me for any money, I naturally paid for restaurants and some gifts, etc… but that’s all. I won’t take in another sob story, but tbh all girls have them, it’s classic third material after a glass of wine.

aposhark · Feb 28, 2024

Tintin2024 said: ↑

She never asked me for any money, I naturally paid for restaurants and some gifts, etc… but that’s all. I won’t take in another sob story, but tbh all girls have them, it’s classic third material after a glass of wine.
Click to expand...

As PorkAdobo posted, just leave her and move on.
You will hopefully one day see that there are hundreds of thousands of pretty Filipinas in their own county who don't play silly mind games.
They are mostly very romantic ladies /girls.

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Pregnant ex-gf moving back to PH

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