Pregnant ex-gf moving back to PH

And they are the lucky ones. Another two months and wouldn't be able to get them here. Then will be paying a great chuck of income tax and NI to be separated from their family. Or at least for six years when have to hope that 60 hours a week generates an income of £37k to allow family visa

My wife and I both live in Abu Dhabi now. Will stay here for a while I think saving for our future.

This is interesting Phil, I have lots of questions for you…On your first marriage, how did you and wife adapt moving to UK. Did something break down the marriage?

One of my worries is when my wife and I eventually leave the UAE and go back to Scotland how she will manage.

Also our financial situation, it's fine now as I earn well here in UAE and so does she but my concern is if, and when we move back home to Scotland my salary will most likely take a big hit and she will need to start contributing more to our costs of living… Right now she is sending most of her money home but it will be difficult to be a one-income household in uk, especially if we have kids also (which we want). These are just thoughts in the back of my head. I don't grudge her sending money to help the family, they are great. Never ask for much and live a very simple life.

They do change when brought to U/K, but my wife is settled here we have two young kids going to school here , our oldest one who is nine now went to school in A/C and that is the main reason we came back the kids for education better life etc, I miss the bars the laughs the weather and lifestyle , here the weather is grim stuck indoors for weeks on end cold wet,
But yes if you have a good wife you can be settled here depends on who she makes friends with , a lot of the girls here from phils are money orientated want all the latest designer gear to show off to their friends, my wife hates it and says they are all plastic, bring her back and see what happens if my advice.

You're not alone, I'm thinking/planning on going back to the UK for my children's sake but wondering how my wife will feel about contributing... obviously much easier to say no when you're not here.

@HONEST DAVE

Hehehe... another classic

I think they will get it if the child lives in the UK.
If the child lives abroad they don't.

Absolutely loved my time in Abu Dhabi, but it was mid 80’s when I was there, no F1 circuit etc ! I remember meeting a guy there who was working in the oil business offshore. He told me he had set his mother up with house and pension. He estimated he would need to stick it out for one more year to retire with a healthy pension. His life was on hold and he worked his arse off. I saw one of his colleagues a couple of months later and asked how he was doing, only to be told he had a heart attack and had died. I never forgot that, it learnt me the valuable lesson of work hard, but play harder you just never know, money is good but isn’t everything.

P/P seen your singing on P{i@night enjoying life fair play, don't know if we met in A/C a lot of people knew me there, best time of my life there and miss the place but was probably drinking a bit too much and a motorbike accident with a spell in hospital showed me the medical situation is not great, then the kids life there to think about, all in all its hard decision where to live to all be happy , its ok in the U/K work and money but boring in the bars and crap weather.

lets hope youre right. Its not easy to find the answer.

Christ almighty, Dave. Your posts seem to suggest you need a PhD to live in the Philippines. It's the most piss easy country for a Kano to settle in the whole world.

I think you may have me mixed up with someone else.

I was also in the Oil biz in Abu Dhabi and Dubai in the 80's and there certainly was massive burnout when people returned home, even though it was possible to get a beer back then. It was easier than Qatar and Saudi for sure.
Not a place you wanted to stay once your work had ended but I was offshore and that changes everything.

I worked in the Embassy in Abu Dhabi (Defence Attaché) but covered the consulate in Dubai too. Met of lot of the rig workers when they were invited to Embassy gatherings. I met the chap I mentioned at a garden party in the Embassy when Princess Anne visited UAE

Yeah... sometimes they just don't know when enough is enough.

North Wales would do me fine

Granted it is not a bad place the land of a Celtic Race, but Scotland is even better HaHa.

Very beautiful country... aside from the midges

Final Update:

Thanks to everyone for their advice and comments on their experiences of living in the PH, it’s certainly been interesting to read.

I said last time that I would end the thread, but thee has been quite a development, unfortunately. It’s not pleasant to write, and if you’re already think this story is either dramatic fiction or plainly not true, by all means please stop reading here.

I asking for a view on my situation, in case there is something I’ve missed.

Last we B sent me a one word message ‘babee’ accompanied by sad face emoji on insta, I called her but no answer, and I asked her to unblock me on WhatsApp so that we communicate better, which she did. She told me that she had had a routine appointment for the pregnancy (roughly 25 weeks I’m lead to believe) and that the heart beat was weak. She had ‘paid’ for further injections to assist the pregnancy and reduce the chance of a miscarriage. Naturally I was concerned.

She had been feeling emotional, hormonal and stressed, which she said was being caused by me. She has a day job and also works on her private business in the evenings. She lives alone. She has been deliberating whether to stay in the UK for ILR or travel back to live in PH and give birth. I haven’t harrased her, threatened her, intimidated her, stalked her, humiliated her. I’ve only messaged her about my good intentions, good feelings and concern for her well-being.

On Tuesday she blocked me on instagram and has seemed to delete her prized account. I don’t know why, I had messaged her their since we moved back to WhatsApp. Red flag perhaps.

On Wednesday, she contacted me on WhatsApp with a brief message to say that she had been bleeding in the night. She had gone to hospital. I called her several times but she didn’t answer. I replied to her message saying that I was worried, and to let me know how she and the baby are. I asked which hospital she was attending. I could see that she read the message, but nothing in reply.

Knowing approximately where she lives (street level) I contacted the 5 of the closest NHS hospitals. Not any private hospitals. Knowing her full name, DoB, and Postcode the hospital staff were able to check their records in order to locate her, however nothing surfaced.

I was starting to be very concerned and confused. I made here aware that the hospitals could not locate her. She then replied that she had requested Safeguarding, no NOK. She didn’t tell me about her well-being. It was another red flag. No news on her health but safeguarding? I’m not a threat to her, and I’m currently in Europe.

I asked her again, for more info. Later she said that our child was lost. She told me that she spent 3 hours in labour. I felt crushed and was incredibly upset for her and myself. We messaged each other, I was being supportive and loving and suggested that I take a flight back to London. But I still didn’t know which hospital she was staying at. Ultimately, she blamed me, saying that it was my fault, what I had wanted, and that I won! Obviously, this was hard to take, but I understood the emotions she might be feeling. I planned to take a flight the next day.

On Thursday I was driving to the airport. We messaged and she told me that she would be leaving the hospital that afternoon, a friend was collecting her and she would stay with a friend. I again asked which hospital she was staying at.

She replied with a photo of a hospital bed, the lighting was dark and something didn’t look right. She has the later iPhone with a great camera. I copied the photo and uploaded the image to Google to reverse search inorder to find any matches. After a few seconds I found an exact match on Pinterest. She has sent me a fake photo of her hospital bed, one which I had not requested. I then had a strong suspicion that she was playing me. A part of me felt relieved, but mostly I was distraught, heartbroken.

I asked B if she had taken the photo. She replied ‘Why?’. I said that the photo looked dark. She said the photo was taken early in the morning and that she had sent the same photo to her Mother in PH. I then send her a screenshot of the search engine results, proving that she had sent me a fake photo of her in a hospital bed.

The game was up!

I asked her what was happening?

she replied, “you think you’re clever, I’m clever too, I knew you were going to do that”.

Obviously not the response I was expecting from a woman who had experienced a still birth the day before.

I told her that i was shocked, she was playing games with a situation so close to my heart, and that it was impossible to understand. I asked her for any evidence of the pregnancy or hospital discharge papers. She gave me nothing.

I cancelled my flight.

1. Was she ever pregnant?
2. Was she pregnant and had a miscarriage?
3. Is she still pregnant and pretending to have had a miscarriage ?

How will I ever learn the truth. Apparently, stillbirth are public record, perhaps I could try there.