Are we all being a little alarmed because her chap is Romanian ?? Yeah me to "visions of Borat going through my mind"
Well for me, I was just alarmed because it sounded dodgy - especially that he hasn't visited in the last three years. However, it seems that he is now going to visit in February... Fingers crossed that it actually happens. Many of these promised visits have a habit of not materializing due to 'last minute problems'. A number of my wife's friends have experience of that. Let's see..
I honestly dnt expect much.. I won't force him. I'd like to see an initiative out of him. I wouldn't stick around if he doesn't
Compare the above statement with what you said when you first posted. "I know it sounds ridiculous for others, but we're madly in love. You can tell whether a person is genuine or not. And base on my experience with him, he's in his 100%. " I can hear a loud ringing noise in my ears.
We are.. But we had an argument last week about this and I just dnt know why it's hard for him to go here. Then all of the people here says this and that.. Like I told you, im naive. My mind is contemplating about what's real and what's not. I do really love that man. And im not messing around with it. If he trully does feel the same then he'll have to prove it. We're okay for now, we'll just have to see what happens next.
I understand. I feel that you have to try and view the situation using your head. No matter how hard it may be to accept you don't actually have a relationship yet just the promise of one. You have never met in person and you might not be compatible. So try and be objective. I would wait and see whether he does visit you. Ask to see the flight e ticket when the ticket is booked. we knew a woman who was told the guy was flying and actually went to airport and he didn't show up. Without wanting to sound too negative - I suggest that you do your checking properly and subtly. If you don't understand 'why' he won't visit, then there is a piece of information that you don't have. Bear in mind that some people say they aren't married when they are, for example. I know a person who had a married guy come visit in the Phils. She only found out he was married later. I know another one who had a guy chatting to her talking about getting married and promising to visit and then he vanished. It turns out he was married too. I recommend that you should do a few checks carefully and subtly. Find out where he physically lives and write a physical letter there. Find out his landline telephone and call him on it. Ask to do video chats at the weekend for an entire day and request that the computer be left on at night so you can watch him sleep. Do you have passwords for each other's email accounts so that you can check his email and see if it all seems honest and ok? Something like that will allow you to at least measure whether he lives alone for example. You should also find out more about his business. What's it called? What does it do? What are the working hours? Does he have a website and what is it? It is a limited company? If it is, then does it appear in the 'UK company house' search? https://beta.companieshouse.gov.uk/ Does he appear as a director of the company in this search? What exactly are the reasons that he claims he hasn't visited in the past? Do they make sense? Have you ever spoken or emailed any of his relatives? Why not? There's no harm in subtly checking the things you've been told and being careful. I hope that things work out ok.
Thank you for this. I gratefully appreciated this. Feels like i've got someone looking after me. It's really kind of you guys especially you @ChoiAndJohn thank you. I will take all what you've said and see what happens. Im still keeping my fingers crossed on this.
No. That's too far. Way too far. Some trust must be involved in any relationship, even one by distance. You can make it safer but not fullproof. You need to spend time together. I'm glad he's coming to you. Take it from there.
agreed they need to spend time together in person but bear in mind that these two people also seemingly plan to marry and yet there seems to be uncertainty. Why shouldn't she make some checks?
Some checks, yes. But if you have to check someone's emails, then that is a bad sign. I suggest taking longer. Time reveals.
I also suggest taking longer, but if that doesn't happen then I don't see anything wrong with sharing everything. If a person has nothing to hide then they wouldn't have an issue with it. My wife and I shared email accounts for years..
