Finding love and relationships for the over 60s

Man goes to the doctor and says

Doc, I just don't find sex pleasurable any more

The doctor asks

How old are you?

81 says the man

And your wife?

79 says the man.

And how long have you felt this way?

Twice last night and once again this morning.

I would hope no one would get involved with any female - irrespective of nationality - seeking this type of relationship.

Unfortunately, I suspect some do - expecting it as one of the "perks" of the arrangement.

Who does what in a family setting is clearly up to the the individuals concerned. In some cases the female (perhaps culturally so groomed) will take on the bulk of housekeeping / homemaking tasks. If that dynamic works for them then who am I to carp?

It does however beg the question of what - in such circumstances - the male brings to the party? If it's just financial sustenance (important how that is) that doesn't wash with me.

A wife is a partner not an employee.

G

when i met my ( now) wife---in 2011, she was already here on a student visa, which meant she could work part time. it was her intention to eventually settle here.....and i made it all possible.

I'm a big believer in the right person for the right job, as in my wife is better at cooking and cleaning etc so its better she has those kind of duties. However I respect that she works five days a week so I pay for takeaways four times a week which are usual sensible meals as far as take aways go as I watch my weight. I really don't want to see my wife coming in from work then starting the cooking, weekends is different of course.

I agree with you regarding the money side of the relationship, I'm guessing I earn four times more than my wife but that has a bearing on nothing, I ask my wife for a few hundred quid a month and that's it, she has plenty of money left over each month to do with it as she pleases.

It is best to set your stall out at the beginning and decide who is doing what and the share of the finances.

Everything in my household including the relationship runs like clockwork

Just as an aside, I have a middle class Filipina friend who is 50 (and in remarkably good shape) and who is in a relationship with a Filipino man in his twenties who is nowhere near as well off as she is ; she says she finds him "more interesting" than her friends from her own Ateneo/UP etc comfortable middle class background. I have another middle class Filipina friend in her forties who was for some years in a relationship with a younger Filipino who was a security guard. I think that it may not be so very unusual for Filipinas to date younger men.

Same here Bigmac

The idea that the two parties to a marriage contract must each be of similar age and financial standing is perhaps a recent one. It would have surprised Jane Austen. There are two parents of a child at my son's school with a 35 year age difference. Their nine year old son was born in wedlock, and they are both British.

And @Scotschap16 - Melody does wait on me hand and foot, but that's because I have only recently (happily) found out that I do everything the wrong way anyway, and she prefers to make me a cup of tea rather than I make it myself and leave the spoon in the wrong place and drip tea on the floor from the tea bag and put the milk back in the fridge wrongly.

She tells me that it's her duty to look after the home and her man. I can be out at work at 4am, or still be working at 3am. I'm not getting any younger and nor can I pick and choose when to work. Melody tells me that it's her duty to look after the home and her man and takes pride in making sure that I want for nothing. Who am I to argue with common sense like that?[/QUOTE]

I have an older brother - in his early 60s - who since marriage over 40 years ago has never changed a nappy (they have 3 kids), changed a plug fuse, ironed a shirt, programmed a remote, changed a duvet cover or cooked a meal (apart from his signature chicken maryland - not exactly taxing!)

He has successfully traded on the fact that he claims he's useless with practical things - making a virtue of his cack-handedness. His wife of course is sooo much better at all this stuff!!

I'm a practical hands on kinda fella so my brother's attitude could never be mine - but the truth is he and my sister in law have had a hugely successful marriage of well over 40 years.

Horses for courses!

And of course let's not forget that pillar of morality from history - Mohammed!

My first Filipina wife and her sister banned me from cleaning in our house in the UK, because they decided that I couldn't clean as well as them!

There are some Filipinas who are OCD.

Its not the worst ban in the world to have, I think you'd agree

I guess the proper rejoinder to the ban threat was to up your game to meet their exacting standards - or simply acquiesce meekly, pick up your coffee mug and reach for the remote!

It was to stop cleaning actually.

There is a six year age difference between my wife and I. When we have visited the Philippines, we have on occasion seen much younger women with much older men. I'm sure that there are occasions when such a partnership works well. There are probably others, where it does not. I would imagine that a large age difference introduces a difference in outlook that is sometimes challenging to overcome.
I have to say that I believe that any fil-western couple is always subject to some scrutiny. Whenever my wife and I go out, people are always staring at us. The women have a certain expression on their faces. Usually not an approving one. When she is alone, she invariably gets men looking, sometimes going so far as to follow her round Tesco which amazed me the first time it happened. However she enjoys being "The only filipina in the village" as we joke about it. We joke that she should say (a la full metal jacket) 'me so horny, me love you long time' but of course she's not gonna do it. I didn't marry my wife because she was slightly younger, or indeed because she was a Filipina or for her looks. It was just for her own qualities. I don't have anything against western women or any particular preference for filipina women. Everyone has their own special qualities and I feel that it's unwise to generalise. I dare say most people on the forum are happy with their lot in life.

A well balanced viewpoint

I

I've no doubt you weren't overly exercised at the outcome!

When out together we have never experienced strange looks and the like, having said that I'm not looking for such instances, sounds like you might be living in a "Royston Vasey" kind of town

I think we all knew that our loved ones would turn a few heads here in the UK for one reason or another, its just something you get used to, there is no other choice after all.

I think we will all love our wives a long time

I'm still looking forward to having that shouted at me walking down the street

I was watching the scotland qualifier game last week and random some group of guys greeted me 'sawasdee ka?'

I just had to laugh and tell them, 'no im not from thailand'. My husband just laughed out when i explained what it was about.

First time in our local thai store and were greeted with sawadee krap, I didnt even bother to explain to him

You must admit it is an understandable occurrence for the unenlightened amongst the great British public and Thai people alike. I think it was young @Maharg who said his wife was often mistaken for a local when he was on holiday in Thailand.

As we have discussed many times here on the forum, it is quite easy to mix Thai and Filipinos up, its when Thais open their traps and speak a form of English that personal grates with me that all becomes apparent