I know that relationships has its own issues of ups and downs but I think having a long distance relationship doubles the blow of that issues. Issues of cultural diff'rences, trust, honestly etc. How do you manage to overcome those issues when you are there (UK) and we are here (PI)?
Oh, boy... I could write a book on this question alone (but I will keep it short, going bed soon). It happens, I fall out with Joy over some tiny thing that bothers me because being so far away for so long does get frustrating, but then.. I just talk to her. Thankfully, she has a lot of patience for the most part, she too has misunderstandings which can send me on a downer, but at some point we both see eye to eye again. But then, we are both committed to one another, which is key! If I was not committed to Joy I would have turned away long ago, and I am sure she would have too. But a good and loving LDR is kind of like a winning lottery ticket in your pocket, you haven't cashed it in yet, but you just know you had better not lose it I think the main thing is communication, even if it is a few text messages it can help!
Sometimes you simply don't cope with it Majah, sometimes it is terrible beyond belief Sorry I do not want to be really negative but we have a lot of really serious private problems right now and all I can say is that it is hard to understand across the cultural divide. Trust, well all relationships need trust. I spent 450 days of my life in the last 6 and a bit years in the Philippines, part of my reason for that was to build trust, 21 trips, about 16,000 pounds (a lot of free flights on miles) I have bent over backwards and still I am often not trusted, this works both ways, and our current problems are in the other direction. Sorry guys but I might be a single parent soon, it's got that bad, but I will never give up on my children. God help us So not quite so private now but I am not going into details, I will say this, that neither of us have been unfaithful to each other, we have other problems
Ironically it got a bit better after I made this post Big choices about immediate future and big disagreements.
Good advice Dom, as I tend to go silent when things get bad. It's just complicated right now and compounded by the amount of time everything has taken and is still likely to take, things are a bit better yesterday and today.
From what I gather, the more complications involved the harder it is with a LDR. I mean, for me it is kind of simple, Joy has never been married and does not have kids, so I know when we meet the requirements for a spouse visa, we will simply apply and the likelihood is a good outcome. With oss there was the whole thing with divorce/annulment and kids involved as well.. But even for me, with what should be a simple set of goals and a pretty set timescale the LDR is something I cannot wait to bring to an end - by getting Joy here with me in the UK. Make no mistake about it, Long Distance Relationships are a pain! But with everything I remember Florge's husband Simon who told me (that after I manage to get Joy with me) "You will wonder how you ever managed to live without her". And it is with a sentiment like that, that keeps me going
wow kuya! I agree with everything you say. Being away with someone for a long time creates lots of frustrations on the relationship. But I guess 'frustrations' are the mostly connected to long distance relationships I mean, at some point in the relationship the couples will feel that no matter what. And I agree that communication, compromise, trust and loads of understanding is the key to a lasting LDR's
I had my first real face to face chat on skype today since leaving Cebu last Monday week and that was great the reverse of last year now Jhean is on line all the time she wants and Ive got the problem but I think we have both realised we just have to be patient now and keep pluging away with the plan We are lucky perhaps to have had 7 months together and a fair bit of frustration to deal with together hopefully that will keep us going
We both feel that our relationship is 'on hold' until she gets ger annulment, which is taking somewhat longer than expected. The only way we can demonstrate our committment to each other at the moment is to maintain communication by whatever channel happens to work on any particular day.
My fiancee's biggest worry is retribution from her husband, even though their marriage was effectively over and they were living separately, long before I even knew of her existence. She will probably say 'no', but I will make the suggestion. - it is the gesture that counts!
It's a good idea Howerd, neutral ground, and it can be concealed from the ex husband fairily easily unless he is very local to your partner.
LDR for me is just normal as having your partner nearby hehe argueing.misunderstanding..happy/sad moments all mix emotion..are all the same
The emotions are more powerful when nearby Elley. One has all the same feelings, I agree, we have had much more terrible time in the UK than even over the phone or internet but being apart is not good, when you are near by you have body language, real language and much more to help but it can still be very difficult.
hmm ossy i could understand what you are trying to say but it really depends in you both how you gonna nurture your relationship no matter how distance and nearby you are both
Sometimes depends on circumstance and history, Ana and me have very good history, but circumstances right now make it very hard for both of us Really not easy when you know you still have years to wait
