I have some etiquette questions:

I will be staying with K's parents for Christmas.

We have met before, but I have reason to be particularly grateful to them for something.

I want to (1) show them respect, as a potential future son in law and (2) behave appropriately as a guest in their house.

So some specific questions:

(a) Is pag mamano appropriate on first meeting (probably at the airport)? (They are both older than I)

(b) do I greet her father or her mother first (I have met both before)

(c) Pasalubong for the household or individual gifts for each person?

Initial meeting only and you should greet the older one first.

To an extent this is a matter of personal choice however whilst a Filipino could get away with shared pasalubong for the household, you are not a Filipino and would normally be expected to provide individual presents. However you are going for the Christmas holidays so I would suggest you take some shared pasalubong which you hand-out on arrival and then individual presents to be opened on the day.

It's good to hear that you have such considerations when it comes to Filipino etiquette, Methersgate

Personally, you are not obliged to do those things like 'pagmamano' but it would surely make the folks happy. As to your 2nd question, it won't matter who would you greet first. I guess whom you see first?? Lastly, any pasalubong will mean a lot to them as long as it is given whole heartedly

Thank you both.

Next question: assuming that a bottle of whisky is a good present for Papa, should I get Mama chocolates (which for sure she will share) or something more personal such as perfume or a silk scarf or would that be inappropriate?

You can never go wrong with a bottle of wine for fathers and perfume for the ladies

Thanks Anne: the way ahead is now clear!

Personally I wouldn't take chocolates from the UK simply because the recipe for the chocolate itself is designed for consumption in a temperate climate and you'll likely end up with a congealed mess by the time you arrive at your destination on the farm.

I agree with Anne: perfume for the mum!

Have a happy and warm Christmas Methersgate!

Good point on the chocolate!

Perfume it will be.

A supplementary question - Anne - what is suitable/ popular/well known perfume for a Filipina lady in her sixties?

(K tends to get given "the standards" because she never expresses a preference)

Good question! Well, I can't give you suggestions of specific brands. My then fiancé gave my mum Chanel number 5 before and she's only in her forties

That is the "standard" to end all "standards" - Marilyn Monroe ("What do you wear in bed?" - "Chanel no.5!") secured Coco Chanel's sales for EVER!

Next time you're in Town, Andrew, I suggest a trip to Harrods and speak with one of the older ladies working in the Perfumery department on the ground floor (my late mother used to be a Buyer in that department). You don't have to buy the perfume there, but the staff have a far higher knowledge of their products than you'll find elsewhere.

Filipinos, in common with southern Europeans, have a naturally oily skin and have to choose perfumes with greater care than a northern European. Certain esters and other ingredients can react with the skin's natural oils often with fairly disastrous results. But if Mae is anyone to judge by, it is the bottle that she values more than its contents - which were rather expensive.

Excellent advice, which I shall follow, even to the extent of deviating from my normal Happy Hunting Ground of Liberty's and John Lewis! Thanks!

The other point to bear in mind is that perfume itself will be far too strong and over-powering in a hot climate. Choose one of the weaker products - Eau de Cologne or Eau de Toilette (the former being more scented than the latter). Most marques are available in all three versions.

Ferrero Rocher, Galaxy Minstrels and 80% Dark chocolate seem to be the only chocolate that survives hot transit.... unless you forget to take it out of a hot vehicle

Ferrero Rocher and dark chocolate are readily available here at SM and Robinsons supermarkets as well as Watsons (local equivalent to Boots the Chemist).

Incidentally, did I not read a few months ago that Cadbury was all-but closing-down in the UK and moving production to a cheaper EU country?

One thing I do like about Christmas in the Philippines is that each family member gives one gift, not a gift per person.

In the UK it is sometimes like "keeping up with the Jones's" when it comes to the giving of presents.

Mark - I will be far from SM and Robinsons - and forty miles from any mall!

Cadburys have been efectively Hersheys since its acquistion by Kraft in 2009' however production is not being moved out of the UK, where 3,000 are employed. Some operations were transferred to Poland but the Polish division was sold in 2010.

Timmers - I agree!

Hi Andrew,

I'll just comment on the pasalubong:

I always gave everything for the family to my wife's mother for her to distribute.
Obviously, there were boys and girls toys but the little kids were a little overwhelmed with me being there. However it didn't stop them from taking their presents.

I used to go to the cash and carry places in UK (you can get a day pass at these places and tell them you will bring your company details in next time) and get lots of large bars of Cadbury's milk chocolate. Even though they had melted a wee bit the silver paper easily came away from the chocolate.
There was so much chocolate but it was all gone within 30 mins Everybody of every age loves chocolate
I also took over a large plastic presentation box of Ferrero Roche for my wife's mum. That was a nice touch and I could see she was flattered.
I took over perfume too but forget the brand name now.
So......it was pretty much a chocolate day

The next time we will go over, I will sort out some solar power equipment.
There are places in the Philippines' cities to get these now and the large 120Ah batteries can be taken to theirs also.