Hi Skellum, let me tell you a little of my own experience there in PH. I lived there for 8yrs since retiring at age 62, I had visited quite a few times over a few years previous to this, but now I am back living in Scotland partly through failing health and having run out of savings (I had built a house there and this proved to be quite costly for me towards the end of my stay in PH Hi Skellum, let me tell you a little of my own experience there in PH. I lived there for 8yrs since retiring at age 62 (I had visited quite a few times over a few years previous to this) now I am back living in Scotland partly through failing health and having run out of savings I had built a house there and this proved to be quite costly. I was to meet a young woman 30yrs my junior and we had a child together, the woman also had a boy Daniel of 7rs at the time we met, this boy was living with Grandparents while Mum worked away from home, 5yrs ago he come to live with us now aged 10yrs, little brother Alexander was a year old, soon after Daniel arrived with us I had him attend a private School hoping to improve his chances in life, however this did not last all that long as he was coming home crying most days saying the work they gave him was too hard for him, around this same time I had returned to UK to have surgery done to my eyes and was to be there 9 months, during this time Mum decided to put him into a mainstream School, where he was to be more content. On my return back in PH I was to find out this boy is really quite stupid and retarded in many ways, he was not born like this it has taken a long time to develop this stupidity in him, he was only good at one thing and very quick at it, this was telling lies and giving incredible excuses for all his wrongdoings, the problem with this boy is; he been spoiled rotten and fed on all the junk food he could eat, I tried to influence his Mum to curb his intake on sweets and soft drinks, after a time she realised I was correct in this and she cut back on all the treats he was used to, but then he started to make midnight raids of the fridge always denying he was the culprit, he was always good with his little brother and they enjoyed each others company, initially big boy would spend hours playing with him even though there is a wide age gap in years but perhaps not in mental capacity? Alexander is a good little boy and fairly well adjusted where Daniel is on a downward spiral he stopped attending School preferring to spend his days curled up in bed playing games on his phone his Mum could no longer control him and the Grandparents have had to take him back to live with them he is now 15yrs old and it is highly unlikely he will ever find work and make his own way in this world and I will have to provide financial support for him for as long as I am alive? Where Daniel is living now in Mindanao he will be able to spend time with his elder cousin of 25yrs (this age gap will not be a problem as they both have a mental age of 10yr olds) this young man has never worked a day in his life, he has a wife and two young children, the wife works to support them, Grandma looks after the children while he sits at home all day playing games on his phone. I know a couple of Foreigners that are in much the same boat as myself but in their cases they are supporting young adults in their 20's that do not work. Taking on stepchildren is no easy task? a Foreigner taking on Filipino children will have more than his fair share of problems to bear, especially the older ones.
Yup almost certainly it's about money/lack of it - you can normally get married somewhere cheaply on Valentines day and 1st day of barangay fiesta (cheap for christenings too) ... so it's then a question of affording to sort out the paperwork and buying a decent pig - with the price of pig almost doubling I cannot see things changing anytime soon
He's probably wondering whether your post is a wind up Suffice to say there are lots of pretty young single girls with a good education, work and baggage-free-lives that would be more than interested in a guy your age from the UK...
I’m well aware there are plenty of ‘easier’ options in the Philippines, girls in the major cities with jobs, passports and no commitments but they aren’t who I’ve fallen for. I don’t see kids as baggage and find it abhorrent when they are described as such. Clearly you guys have your preferences and that’s fine, but so do I and I am pleased with my choice. I joined here for advice on how to proceed with things, not to debate my choice of partner.
no--his whole story is just too far fetched. We've had daft stories like this before. Its either "john Ash" or one ( or more ) of those other clowns that caused so much trouble then boasted about it on the other Fili forum with a horticultural connection. The purpose of this was to waste other members time--eliciting replies from those of us trying to be helpful--then having a big laugh about it with his cronies.
Username means Rogue/Scoundrel, it was a nickname I got as a kid and then run with it when I was streaming on Twitch and other platforms. Not sure what parts of my story is too far fetched, I've met a lady in the Philippines, she has children, their dads a waste of space? Feel free to have admin check my account, IP, Mac address or anything else to see that I'm a new user to the site, as a new user though it's not exactly a warm welcome.
Don't take it personally, Skellum. If you had been here over a long period of time, you would know about the disruptive behaviour of one person who has repeatedly sneaked in under various guises. We all wish you a nice time here and you will see that "bigmac" is a valued member who is kind and helpful. Enjoy your time here
Actually, it was the father of her children I'd be concerned about and referring to as the baggage... "he has messaged me a few times..."
Hi Skellum, I am 38, from Scotland. Welcome to the forum, honestly playing the devils advocate here - and really not to be crass as I have your best interests at heart mate but this sound like a disaster story to unfold. I understand you can't help who you fall in love with but I'd really do some research into this before you commit to this girl. 4 kids and a 'not nice man' ex lurking in the background somewhere would raise serious alarm bells for me. Think deeply if you will really be prepared to support these kids. If you do bring them to the UK it will be very expense, not just on your visa applications and income requirements but funding their life. And if they are not in the UK, are you really willing to send money back to support kids you hardly know or have a relationship with? You may say that she will get job but if she is not contributing to your household bills and sending all her income back to the Philippines then in turn you are also supporting as you will be a one income household. If you are okay with that then fine but be careful. There is plenty great girls out their without any of this kind of baggage... Don't rush into anything is all I am saying. Keep us updated on how things are going, the members here have a vast wealth of experience on this forum and others so please utilise it and heed any warnings. Also I would like to add on the family dynamics you mentioned. If other members of her family have been previously/currently supporting these kids. If she moves to the UK with you AND the kids move they will expect her to be well-off and to return the favour in kind for looking after the kids for years in the form of money payments. It's very common.
Welcome, good points raised and I appreciate your input. As I said in my initial post I’m not rushing into anything, I’ve been doing my research into everything. I’ve met the kids already, very polite, well mannered and inquisitive, she’s brought them up well. Also well aware of the ‘sending money home’ thing, seems likes a Filipina thing in general though so essentially any girl you get with will have that dynamic instilled in them. Just to say though, I do not consider myself rich but I am blessed enough to say I’m comfortable. I won’t get specific into my finances here but the new minimum income threshold doesn’t affect me; However I am still equally outraged by it as I feel it is far too high and to me seems to be a legal way for the government to ethnically cleanse the UK As an alternative option, I’m also looking at the cheaper option of moving over there, at least for part of the year so my tax status remains valid, from my research so far it seems the Philippines are not interested in money earned abroad by ‘aliens’, only jobs by Philippine owned firms. So with the lower cost of living I could put more money away for the cost of the visas, flights, etc whilst still spending time with my wife and family.
One thing we should always remember is the impressive work ethic of Filipinos; this is their best quality.
Apart from dropping loads of kids they cannot possibly cope with, or afford... It seems that birth control for a couple of my nieces is to hold an aspirin between their knees...
We are all aware that several of the girls here are looking to improve their lives by finding/marrying foreigners however their lives before this may not necessarily have been blissful and peaceful, having kids may not have been a choice. This is a country where domestic abuse is rife and mostly unreported due to fear, retaliation, lack of 'evidence' and a generally male dominated culture. Yet they still get up, go out with their swollen faces to get their kids to school, cook, clean, etc. Let's at least appreciate the fact that some of these girls have been put into that situation...
