My wife and i have a somewhat open ended financial arrangement, we share the rent and food shopping, I have my bank account she has hers, she also has a savings account into which my small salary goes each month however that will stop when i retire for the final time within the next month or so (my Health hasnt been great for a few months now) that savings account will be used for FLR purposes, she sends a small monthly amount home each month, a few months ago i know she discreetly sent a loan to her aunt for which she is still waiting repayment, I advised her at the time not to do it but she went ahead and sent a reduced amount, this aunt has her own small house in Iloilo and has recently started her own business whilst we have neither, but like you all say most of us are regarded as being well off just because we dont live in Phills, nothing could be further from the truth .
just to make it clear--i dont send any of my money--savings or income. Thats entirely my wifes problem. She earns it--she sends it. If she cant work--the tap is welded closed. Whilst i pay all the monthly outgoings--which i would have to do even if i was on my own ( ok--i would get a 25% reduction in council tax), my wife pays for all our food and drink spendings, ( but i have been 100% teetotal for over 3 weeks now ). She buys all her own clothes--and most of mine, as well as too much junk bling. I have no issue at all with her sending money to support her 2 kids ( although it has doubled from what it used to be.) I dont think her daughter is in any great hurry to find a job--her mother sends her far more than i imagine she could earn. I suppose next event will be an unemployable boyfriend--and then a grandchild that will be added to the cash cow.
I have done exactly that a couple of times, much better than drip feeding remmittance, I am a great believer in education having had none myself I also gave someone 20 odd grand sterling to process their papers etc for Canada, gave them the cash, not loaned, I hate Utang, really loathe the debt culture of the Philippines, but it's not going to change in a hundred years, its too entrenched in the psyche.
I would give her tough love, and set an ultimatum, she has her engineering degree, but needs that licence, yup I know covid has put the brakes on that, but I would still expect her to do the online review, otherwise your unemployed boyfriend and another mouth to feed are a natural progression.
It doesn't have to be that way. Some members here have, over the years, mentioned that we all have to be careful with sending money over there. The terrible incident you described over there is different though.
Spoke to a few filipino heritage nurses here yesterday, one couple have an 800,000 dollar property portfolio and a plan to expand, both nurses. Average pay here depending upon experience is 34-50+ dollars an hour, Philippines I know nurses on 9000 peso a month
