Sending allowances to the Philippines.

I dont understand this at all, ive been chatting now to my partner in crime in Siquijor Siquijor every day and most days video calls since 10th of october 2018 only now we are stucknin the middle of covid and travel difficulties stopping fromnus from meeting. I am now in touch with her sister and her husband who live and work in Cebu city since January 2020 they've never asked for money from me and even my electronic partner who is working is very shy about discussing money and unwilling to accept it when I suggest sending her money. She is a little more mature than most at 49 yrs old maybe thats the difference I dont know. Maybe just maybe Ive found a good family that cant be tarred with the same brush.

I used to live on siquijor years ago, I think I was there for 6 months + or - my friend Rolfe died there a few years ago, he was well known in Siquijor-siquijor, the Swiss guy who had a nice house in pangi near the hospital
As for sending cash back constantly it creates a dependancy culture, but my rule of thumb was the more educated the family the less likely to ask for cash, not exactly an Einstein theory, but if a family can send a daughter to do an expensive degree then they aren't likely to want hand-outs, there are also totally skint filipinas with pride who would rather starve than ask for cash.

Caution is still prudent.

my wife sends home more each month than i get pension. they could never earn that much if they worked for it.

My wife sends £400 virtually every month to her mother. She started doing this once she started work a couple of years ago. Her mother never spends it.

Ultimately Mrs Ash wants to share a house purchase in the Philippines with her mother, once her mother retires.

just a few quid more than that..for which i am extremely grateful. my contributions were somewhat flexible..

my wife earns more than i ever did.

it puzzles me this business of house purchase / ownership in the philis.

my wife maintains ££ her house in the filis--her kids live there--together with her ex husbands sister-( their aunt ). her ex doesnt live there--but in another sisters house {so far as i am aware }...youre guess is as good as mine.

my wifes sister lives near us--she is now a british citizen. 18 months ago i lent her some money to pay for storm repairs to their parents house. she repaid me in full within a year, this house ( in the philis ) is also occupied by an unmarried brother--and christ knows who else.
after last years loan was repaid--i lent another 2 tranches..this time to fund a major rebuild /extension. the photos look most impressive--a millionaires palace. ( pesos)

but why ? my sister in law is a british citizen--and has no intention of going back--so why borrow money to chuck in a money pit she will never use ? my wife maintains a house her kids live in--but for how long--then what ? all i do know is property is dirt cheap compared to england..which suggests land values are very little.

Basically Mrs Ash wants to see her mother settled in a detached house of their own once she has retired. Her mother asks for nothing. Mrs Ash has a great relationship with her mother.

Also Mrs Ash, as co owner would have somewhere of her own to use when visiting.

Her mother’s current house is very small and in a very crowded neighbourhood. So they are looking at a detached 3 bedroom property in a reasonable housing community in Cavite. She intends to take out a small mortgage.

Both her sisters are self sufficient and ask for nothing.

Sometimes it's a free for all with various relatives residing in a house, siblings, cousins, whatever providing there's some tenuous blood tie and there's free food.
Other families are different, my sons grandmother has a family beach, 450 metres of beach, I just measured it on Google earth, all her siblings have houses on the beach, its fenced and got security guards at the gate, a small hotel and beach cottages etc inside, she has never once asked me for a penny and there's always a bedroom for me in the house.