Living here and being happy Well, first of all its a very personal decision where to live and not. Nobody can take it away or tell us what is better or not. Having said that, the other wisdom is, when one is not happy in the place he lives, he may not be happy in any other place (leaving aside weather and other considerations) To move to the Philippines (and any other place in the world) requires devotion, a ton of tolerance and a lot of acceptance of the new surroundings. If it is with a wife, it may be easier, or it may be hell. family can be a curse anywhere. or a blessing. i experienced neither on both marriages i had with wifes, but both of my wifes were middle class well off people. And never ever try to take experiences you made during vacations (even a lot of them) for granted as future status quo. Rather try to take away all the good things in mind and see what is left and then make your decision. If you try to make a living here, things get extremely challenging. But its also possible. For some...a few.
We hope to move in the future, but we have a daughter who will need good education and I have a father in his middle 70s and I want to be near to him so we can talk on the phone most days. So we are many years off from moving to be realistic. Everybody is in a different situation and I do think what KeithAngel points out about living there for a year is spot on. It takes money to live overseas and a lot of it if we want to live comfortably. It seems very hard to run a business profitably over there also. The UK has it's problems but everywhere has problems too. I try to "look on the bright side of life" - we all get cheesed off at times though, it is part of life's rollercoaster.
i agree with guenther.. the decision to live somewhere is a personal decision and is based on personal events.. i got relatives who, when they were younger, can't wait to get out of Pinas.. and they did.. and now would like to retire in the Phils.. why? basically because, they felt that Pinas offers them a more comfortable life... nannies and maids are affordable and if they are just careful with their spending, they can live comfortably... they made their "out of Pinas" experience as a way of acquiring properties, assets, and investments in Pinas so that they have something to live on when they are older.. i consider myself very lucky and blessed to have not experienced such difficulty that i have to get tired of going to work.. i loved my work in Pinas as it was a dream job for me... it's the kind of job you want to wake up everyday (that's how i felt).. there is no "grass is greener at the other side of the fence"... for me, it is always how you make the grass on your side of the fence greener! i wish to retire in the Phils as well, hopefully... hubby wants to live in between 2 countries .. hahaha.. but, i miss the comforts of home (pinas) and the things i usually do like weekly spa, salon trips then shopping after, dining in restaurants almost always every night (so lazy to cook after a days work), cinemas every weekend... things that are way too expensive here! i miss maruya, ginamos, bulalo, marang, durian, langka, and our mango farm, and the beach! LOL... can hardly wait for my next homecoming!
For nearly 4 years Peter has been staying with me here(Philippines). So far we haven't encountered any problems that we never resolved such as how to live here, financial problem, food and those basic needs everyday. The most important thing here is that both of you always have a mutual understanding, TIPID( spend money wisely), and above all be open to each other. Running a business here you must be wise too! Anyway, there'll always be trials whether you like it or not. Be OPTIMISTIC! but always be extra careful for some people here taking advantage of the caucasians. They think you have lots of money (based on our experience). Let your wife deal with it!
I concur with most of what has been written above and, of course, I entirely agree with Ruby ... it takes a bold man to disagree with his wife - especially when he has pulled up all his roots to live in her home country! If you can arrange it, I'm sure that a 'trial' year without abandoning everything back home in UK is a good idea. However, I was so convinced that my future lay here in Phils that I did sell up everything to move here. I don't regret it for one moment. However, everyone's situation is different and you must always take account of your own experience, dreams and desires. I had spent enough time traveling (and living in) many countries across the world - I had a pretty good idea as to what to expect. What do I miss about UK? I miss the stress - the rat-race ... haha! No, my biggest regret is having to leave two wonderful cars behind! When you come here you have to be prepared to accept the local customs and culture - not always easy, but you do get used to it - even if you still curse it sometimes! Trying to earn a living here is difficult, especially if you hope to retain some western comforts - the best way is to bring some western wealth with you ... it goes a long way here (yes, it goes to friends, family, distant cousins, several times removed etc... haha!). I would advise that it's not a great idea to run a conspicuous business here - it will attract attention from all sorts of people who you would do better to avoid. However, some do manage it - we have a French friend who runs a successful French-style bistro/restaurant. One good way is to bring a western pension with you - it might afford you a 'subsistence' level lifestyle in UK, but here it would put you up with some of the wealthiest. Having said that, I would confirm what was written earlier - some of the happiest faces here are to be found in some of the poorest communities. Yes, as a foreigner you will find it very easy to be accepted into, and move with, the affluent side of society. We prefer to keep a low profile and associate with Ruby's family and old friends. I find it very rewarding to have 'adopted' some of the youngsters in the family, and offer them the opportunity of an education they would never have received otherwise. There is so much that I could write, if I had more time but, at almost 2am, I ought to retire to bed. However, to sum up: If you believe that you are flexible enough to adopt the culture, sufficiently resilient financially, and really prepared to abandon your past, then the Philippines is a great place to be ... especially with a great, loving and gwapa, filipina by your side!
Nice read and careful thoughts from everyone. Some good advice too. Don't get too worried for me though. As the title suggest, just reflections. I do have such moments from time to time. It's not my intention to write an autobiography here. Suffice to say, I more or less lived outside of UK for over 33 years. It wasn't my intention to ever return. However, as can happen in life, sometimes something jumps out and bites you in the ****. This happened to me and my wife, and we both agreed to come to UK. I really did not want to be here. I took the decisions for reasons of family. From time to time I feel sorry for myself and sometimes feel cheated out of my well laid plans. Generally I'm a positive thinking person. Just sometimes it's difficult. I should be enjoying my retirement in my own place in the paradise islands. Ahh. One day soon.
