My 8 year Filipino adventure assessment

After 8 years - this is how it’s gone and what I make of it.

background - I was married for 17 years previously and had 3 kids

my Filipino wife also has 3 kids previously and WE married in 2014 so it’s coming up to 6 years in about 8 months time.

Done all the paperwork to bring her over in 2017 but a combination of family sickness at my end and some issues at her end meant the whole thing had to be put on hold.

after that she was coming over via a nursing agency but she failed the exam by 1% and 2% over a period of a year - methinks it was a scam mob in the end with no intention of sending anyone across.

I visited for good amounts of time from 2012 to 2017 but not seen each other for 3 years now even though we speak everyday.

where is this going ? I’m not sure as I’m looking after/caring for my mother and not earning enough to bring her across just yet.

I’m 52 and she’s 33

Do I love her ? Yeah of course...

Can it survive like this ?

well I’m
Not losing any sleep - is that a bad sign

Am I needy - not really

As for her - I help support her latest business adventure - and she is game devoted loyal and straight to the point.

A bit of a sulker at times if she ain’t ‘babied’ enough but I find it amusing anyway.

Maybe this set up suits me.

Time will tell but 8 years is a fair crack at it.

Met her online originally and had some great trips there .

Any thoughts welcome ....

My opinion of Filipino ladies is thus

if you can help them along - they are the worlds best - not so sure if you went skint though lol

cheers
Jimmy

Is getting out of the Philippines the greatest goal for a Filipino as I hear many come here and quite a few don’t like it that much and desire to return home.

I would have no qualms going there.

cheers

Thanks for sharing

I’ll be honest - my mum is my priority as of now

Things change

I’ll just do what I can in the meantime

My wife isn’t champing at the bit to get over here and appears to understand the situation

from what i understand filipinas are used to their husbands being away for years at a time.
My wife told me her previous husband only came home for christmas.

I’m Beginning to think your absolutely right on that one - so what does that tell us ?

a- they are not bothered b- they are loyal beyond normal expectations c- they may be having the best of both worlds

I’m covering all
Bases lol

Jimmy,

You don't seem particularly bothered TBH.
If you really loved her you would have pulled out the stops for her to be with you so you can share your lives together.
She will understand this as Filipinas are very romantic by nature.

We don't have more than one life to get it right.

If your both comfortable with the situation as it currently stands that's fine,however unconventional the marriage appears to others.

IMO I think you are at a crossroads in your mind you appear to have split loyalties to looking after your mum(nothing wrong with that) and progressing your own and your wife's future.
Have you spoke to her on this subject?
You say she is a bit of a sulker, whats her view of you?
You have been together 8 years she is a young women and you are no old fella but you need to resolve it with her to be together or free to move on! Its not just about you
?

Fair point - and I appreciate your words

the amiss part is the urgency

I think this is the closest to the truth

Well she is ultra loyal and she probably thinks I’m still the greatest find in her life - and that’s not because I’ve been a good provider in many areas - but because I’ve stuck by her during some
Very personal mishaps along the way. So the question is as things stand and with my hands tied somewhat with my mum - are we willing to wait?

From my end - yes
From her end - yes

if that is enough I suppose no matter how odd it appears - we will carry on business as usual.

Thanks everyone for the input

Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes,one size most certainly doesn't fit all

One of the great quotes and most definitely true - in fact I live by it or try to

I will add - she came along when I was ‘sent to Coventry’ after my first marriage was ending and for that reason alone - it’s worth digging in.

as the line in the film in a gangster movie quoted ...

“it has been good for me and it was good for you”