I did not know it would be very hard being apart after spending time together. After three weeks, day and night, inseparable and then all of a sudden, we can't see each other anywhere we look. It was an explosion inside. Like I wanted to catch another plane back to Cebu after I landed in Davao. :/ I was not comfortable in my own bed when I reached home. And nothing seemed to console me. When we skyped the first full day he was in the UK we were crying. "It feels so wrong to be apart" was what Chris said. He had thoughts like settling here with me and at times I encouraged the idea because I want us to be together. Even though I know it's not the best way for us to go. I rarely see people complain though and I wonder if I'm being immature about it. At least we'll be together again in July.
I think many here have been through what you experienced to some degree. You're right and its almost like your arm has been cut off so to speak. You're a young couple so the maturity has a little bit to play in it but i suspect not a lot. It looks like Chris has got the bug and will be with you before long. Those initial encounters are almost addictive and impossible to forget. Focus on July, that will keep you strong.
Eventually, it will appear as just a bad dream........ The plane lands, and all the worries will be directed at getting out and through immigration and customs as quickly and as smoothly as possible, and as you amble out onto the consourse casting your eyes far and wide to see that face you have been yearning for, among the many waiting for their own mahals... Then all of sudden he is there, immense relief.......... But this when the real journey begins........
Although it is many years since my wife and I had to go through the LDR (before and after marriage), we remember it and how awful it was. Life as a married couple with kids takes over and the previous time apart fades into the distance. I am sure this will happen to both of you too. Try to keep busy while you are making plans.
Your post really brought things back to me, Jenibele. We've been together in the UK now for 3 years, but went through 2 years of LDR before being together here. I remember we used to sit in silence in the back of the taxi on the way to the airport every time I had to go back, and then sitting on the concrete at the bottom of the staircase outside Manila airport before going in. I always felt positive about it, though. I tended to go for fairly short stays but go regualry - maybe every 3 months or so. I remember going over in November 2011, coming back to all the stresses I was going through in the UK at that time, and going back again in December! Another time I just went over for 4 nights - a long weekend as it were. The hardest part was when our first visa got refused. For a short while it felt like we were doomed, but later realised it was down to our application rather than our not being eligible so soon felt positive again. Our first 2 years was a lot of Skyping! I would call her at 9pm - about 3am over there I think? - and we'd stay online all night until I went to work in the morning. And we'd just leave Skype open at weekends even if we weren't in the room. That just became what it was! Now it's like we were never apart. I would say just take things as they come and, in the end, it will feel like you've always been together all the time. And no, you're not being immature about it. Of course you're not.
We had over 2 years apart....but she's back with me now since 2 weeks ago...and already those miserable 2 years are a fading memory. All systems go here...giving 28 days notice next weds to get married..then FLR..then get a job .....then find a place to live long term.
Thank you all. Now at least I see we aren't the only ones who go (went) through this. Chris booked a ticket to Davao, I believe, a few days after he arrived. That's how soon he wanted to be back. The first few days apart were awful. But now, with hotel and tickets booked, we're just looking forward to July. At the airport I remember him saying "Just 5 more minutes", and then his voice broke when he said "and then I'll walk you down". It was heartbreaking seeing him cry like that. Soon enough I myself was in tears. I dread the parting time in July but nothing we wouldn't go through just to see each other again. I guess I just didn't expect we will go through something like this. I thought we would just simply go back to our fun times (and quarrel times) texting and skyping.
It gets better. My wife and I were apart for almost five years. You do get used to it, and if you persevere then you will be together in the end. There is always a way. I used to visit every 3-4 months or so but sure, the bit at the airport is always rotten. Even the taxi to the airport. I used to like to get it over with quickly. I hate it when you can see the other person through the glass. Just walk away fast and get the goodbyes over. Ugh. When apart, we used to use a (free) piece of software called 'vsee' which works well on low bandwidth connections. You can also set it up to 'auto answer' from you. In our case, we both had our computers on all the time and either of us could call the other at any time. With the time difference, quite often I would be watching TV in the evening whilst she slept and then have a chat when she woke up. It wasn't all bad. We also installed 'google drive' on our machines and shared an account. That meant that if I put a file (like a picture or a movie or a song) in a directory on my machine, it appeared on hers. We used that to watch movies together. We would both push 'play' at the same time and watch a movie together - that way we could talk to each other at the same time. On other occasions we would both eat and drink wine at the same time. There are ways of making it not seem so bad. Once you wind up being together, all that part will just seem like a bad dream like other people mentioned. But in some ways, I'm glad we did it. It makes us appreciate the time we have now.
Reminiscing is what I do to. You can become easily adjusted to having Asawa here. Reading those posts does indeed make you realise what we went through and how lucky we are.
We had almost five years apart. It seems that, "all going well", as we say in my line of business, we are to be married in ten days' time.
I have instructed the neighbors kids, all 9 of them, to gatecrash and start yelling "don't do it daddy"..!!!!!!!!!!! It costing me a ridiculous amount of creme eggs, but I am sure you will appreciate the last minute reprieve...
My old friend Lito Dailisan who is the Manila bureau chief for Newslink has recommended a ladder and a getaway car with the engine running... this was the advice given to him by his father in law, but careful inspection reveals that he shows signs of being happily married ...
Ah good ... the appearance of two or three burly chaps in white coats brandishing a strait jacket will add a certain nuance to the ceremony, I think!
All par for the course I'm afraid, it does get easier as others say, when you know in your heart that one day you will be finally together then it is easier to live with. The journey from the Philippines back home is a hell of a lot longer than when you're going. It will not be forever
Gosh, time is ticking away. Don't forget to post some photos afterwards. (How easy it is with digital cameras these days).
