Is it Love, or a sex holiday?

One of the most common fears that I have been told of when it comes to relationships between western men and Filipinas is the persistent doubtfulness that comes with meeting a strange man for the first time after he travels half way round the world to see you. Those months of "getting to know you" talk on the Internet and over the telephone just doesn't come close to preparing a woman for the eventual encounter with the man whom she has been dating online. And with the countless rumours of western men going to Asia for only "one thing", it is natural and quite right for any woman about to meet her online boyfriend for the first time, to feel nervous and perhaps even a little scared.

Let's face it, there are men out there who will happily try and promise a world of riches and a care free life in their pursuit to seduce a lady they met online! Although they are the minority, they are out there. So how can a Filipina spot these men from the genuine suitor? There are no fast answers! You will have to trust your instincts with this man, so if he somehow is off putting to you then better to break off the relationship than worry about not acting nice.

There may be some tell tale signs for a man only interested in sex. In your online talks he might move the conversation beyond your respected families and talk about sexual matters, in an attempt to see how you react. He might even ask to play intimate games over the internet, whilst paying little attention to your needs. He might even sound like a seasoned traveler to the Philippines, knowing a little Tagalog or Visayan whilst at the same time playing ignorant to Filipino culture and customs. All of these could be tell tale signs, or simply signs of a man inexperienced with speaking to ladies. Again, trust your instincts!

The most important part is finally meeting him at the airport. Those first moments together in person will speak far more than the time you spent talking online!

Take a friend or relative with you, you don't need to be alone with him if you are still unsure (at least, not at first). then once you have gotten to know a little more about him then it will become easier to trust him more and more. You might also want to have the "sex talk" with him long before he arrives to the Philippines, expressing your feelings on the matter and advising him whether or not you are waiting until marriage before you do such a thing. At least then he knows how to react with you and his western mindset will be tempered with the culture shock of being in a more conservative and less hedonistic culture.

Above all, honesty is key. If you make it clear from early on your goals and what you seek out of a relationship, then it will make things easier for you both. And if he is the kind of man only looking for "one thing", then he will have moved on without causing you too much pain.