Hello everyone, I had the opportunity of meeting a new Filipino girl as I am friends with some of her cousins. We met at a restaurant 2 months ago and were formally introduced. Her relatives vouched for me very highly as well with her family and other relatives. Since then we have been in touch regularly and exchanged get to know yourself questions. I am really starting to like her and I did tell her how I felt. She appreciated it; however, she stated she wants to "become good friends" and "not to expect too much." I wanted to ask her out one on one but she stated she's "not quite comfortable" as of yet. I would like to become very good friends with her first, give her whatever time she needs to give an "OK" for a casual date out but was wondering what is a normal amount of time to give before maybe cutting loose? We have many things in common including goals later on in life such as marriage and having kids. The same goes with cultural beliefs. She goes to church with her family every Sunday and very family oriented. I continue having casual and laid back conversations with her in order to built the rapport. Is there any other advice anyone can give other than simply communication back and forth to perhaps put a bit of "spark" into our new friendship? This is the first time I have ever courted a Filipina and from so many of my friends they said I made the right choice. Hope to hear from anyone out there that can help. Thanks very much. Walter.
You will have to respect her wishes and just become good friends, in time she will open up to you if she is comfortable being in your company. Respect the views of her family as she will respect them very much. Take it easy and don't rush things, just enjoy her company and love will move things along if its to be. Filipinas are very gentle and loving, you might just have found yourself a soul mate, only time will tell It is normal by the way for a family member to chaperone them on a date
The decision to become 'good friends' first is a thumbs up! Don't rush her into a relationship. My tip: don't stop sending her messages once in a while. Constantly remind her your feelings for her, make her laugh and don't forget the flowers!
Thanks for all the great feedback! Her request to become "good friends" is granted! Only thing is she's not really into flowers a whole lot. She loves chocolates, anything sweet such as pastries, cakes, pies, etc... I had made the thoughtfulness of buying her a pasalubong while away on a trip abroad and also some baked goods for her to share with her family. One thing I've noticed with her family is I will need to earn my badges to gain mom's respect. Her father and I have started on common ground. I guess my best move for now to reach her comfort zone. Right from the moment we met we have been in touch daily and yes - it's constantly! If I'm away out of town, luckily I have her phone number to keep in touch!
Walter, I am not you but I have never thought about a "comfort zone." Make her laugh and make sure she is as caring as you. Don't put her on a pedestal, treat her as an equal because that is the way you will be if you put months, years and children into the equation.
I think treating the Filipina with respect is a big thing in my book, I always sent flowers to the wife's office in Dubai but that was more of a what else can I send sort of thing, you are pretty limited. I sent her a bonsai tree for one Birthday, sort of a more permanent thing, I also dabbled with a little poetry too, that can be interesting As Aposhark says, not all girls like flowers but I suspect most do
Just good friends? Don't expect too much? Seriously. Move on. (Or be just that. Friends. Mates. Pals. That's it.)
Hi there! I'm new, but hey, let me spew forth. erm, we don't know much about the woman. Any advice given surely depends on who she is as a person. For instance, is she introverted or extroverted? Does she instigate texting? Does she properly smile and light up when she sees you? Lack of info here to make an informed decision on. "Don't expect too much". Now that's something tangible to make an informed decision on. There either is a spark, or isn't. I'm not sure a spark can be put into something where it might not belong. You might think that logically you might be right for each other, but do people always date for logical reasons, even in the Philippines? No, for most people it's on feeling, then the logic justifies the feeling. Not the other way round - in my opinion. Maybe you're a creature of logic. I suggest you are in the minority if this is the case. I think you shouldn't carry on for much longer. You've got to see - not want to see - a decent step up. You might want to carry on simply because you have invested emotionally into this for two months. Well, that's how gamblers lose money at the casino. I suggest setting a deadline, maybe a week if that, and if it's not to be then cash what chips you have left in. But if this is in a populous area of the Philippines, I wouldn't dream of carrying on after the LJBF line.
