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Help please

Discussion in 'British Filipino Suggestion Box' started by Callen, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    One wouldn't hesitate to tell the whole story if indeed it happened. Nothing to hide. Again, you have the right to know the full details coz it's your money.
  2. Callen
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    Callen New Member

  3. Callen
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    Callen New Member

    Yes you are right. I have already contacted the hospital. They told me yes she was there on day of robbery but now discharged. I tried to find out more like how long she was there? What treatmytr etc but they refused to say more unless I was family. My option now is to try and get a local to pretend they are family and to ring again. I am working on that now. As for the police...I have contacted them via email. They didn't reply. I am told the police will tell you nothing unless they are paid. I am currently waiting for a crime number from her. She hasn't had chance to reply to my request yet.. hopefully tomorrow
  4. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday British Expat living in Alicante, Spain

    Where does your lady live? It’s possible for someone here to check. As for religious what was she into? If it was Catholicism it can be a ritual ....
  5. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Can’t any religion be a ritual?

    I know the OP has stated that the lady in question is very religious but that has no bearing or relevance to what she has or hasn’t done.
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  6. PorkAdobo
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    PorkAdobo Active Member

    When reading some of the cynical remarks here, you have to consider that your story ticks all the requirements for one of the oldest and most common tricks in the book.

    1. Girl befriends guy on social media.

    2. Introduces guy to her wholesome and religious family.

    3. Never meets the guy in person, guy has never even been to the Philippines.

    4. Guy regularly sends money to the girl.

    5. When it comes to the crunch of actually meeting the guy, a terrible misfortune happens. This misfortune is invariably after the jackpot has been banked.

    This is obviously an awful shame for anyone who genuinely is an innocent victim, yet know-it-alls like me start pointing the finger. However, you may be surprised at how different your girl and family can be when the webcam is turned off.

    If you are considering employing a private investigator, the relationship has already failed.
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  7. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    my view on this sad story is opposite of what others suggest:

    dont go to the philippines--her moped riding robbers might well do the same to you--or a lot worse.

    dont send any more money--its not needed now--she wont get a visit visa without a passport...and she now has 77,000 in the bank.

    the onus is on her to prove she is genuine, so leave it all up to her. of course--she will need a new phone--how much do you think she will ask for that ?
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  8. Dave_E
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    Dave_E Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    So a Belgian guy has been supporting her (in the past), however unlike you he "actually met her on a trip over". :eek:

    What are you doing talking to her (supposedly) ex-boyfriends, what is his involvement now, is the relationship finished, and how many other "sponsors" does she have?
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  9. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    you beat me to it there .
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  10. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member


    kalahati sa akin at kalahati para sa iyo
  11. Callen
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    Callen New Member

  12. Callen
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    Callen New Member

    She lives east of Manila. antipolo. The family is traditionally Catholic. Church every Sunday etc ok that could mean little but religion instills guilt to many if they steal
  13. Callen
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    Callen New Member

    Thank you all for your thoughts. Yes on the surface it all looks plain and simple a scam. But one can easily read too much into certain pointers. Personal bias plays a part here. The fact is the hospital story proves true. She has never asked for money in a whole year. I have not been a foolish old man besotted no.. i voluntary sent the odd 2000 peso to support her....once every 4-6 weeks. That is loose change here in the West. It's not missed but there almost a weeks wages. The Belgian guy I mentioned I was in touch with was not an ex boyfriend. He became a family friend online. He did intially look at her as a possible girlfriend but it never happened. He was on holiday in the area in 2014 and popped along to see the family. After that they became friends until now. His word meant a lot and he did vouch for her. As for now...the robbery was 3 weeks ago. She has not asked for any money to replace phone. I have checked activity and no phone usage except on her mamas phone. I am also talking to a close girlfriend of hers who worked with her in Teiwan years ago. They were like sisters. This friend is now in America with her new middle aged husband. But she remained in touch with my girl. She likes me and thinks I am a good guy hence she has confided in me that there dosent seem to be anything amiss....for what that's worth? Overall yes I think I may still have been scammed. But I am determined to get to the truth. The problem is....there's still a chance she has been telling the truth...wouldnt you guys want to know? Would you throw away a year long relationship without finding out it if she was guilty? It's not going to hurt me further to hang on a while to see what evolves. I certainly won't be sending anymore money.
  14. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Most people think you have been scammed, Callen, as your money has gone!
    She should have been more careful carrying that amount which may not be a lot to you but it was a vast amount to her!
  15. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    Year long relationship???????????? Its a modern day equivalent to a pen pal of years gone by
  16. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Guest

    If you really care for the girl,it`s worth investigating IMO as a local scammer probably wouldn't even think of covering their story with an actual hospital visit believe it or not..
    IF she did plan the whole thing and went to the trouble of reporting the incident in a Barangay and Police blotter book and a verified hospital visit then she is VERY good at what she does.. Ive heard countless stories like this before and a quick call to a hospital usually confirms their lies 100%.. Not heard yet (except from you) when a hospital confirms the story with dates and times.
    I view her lack of great detail as a positive to be honest as someone that plans a scam that well (very rare) will have lots of details pre prepared..
    Not sure if you will ever get her story 100% verified as you really need local knowledge and contacts to do that...People that you really trust to make inquiries on your behalf..As you have never actually visited the R.P,I doubt that you have that.
    No idea where to suggest looking for a reputable private detective in Manila either..Perhaps someone on this forum can recommend one.
    I know of one guy..An American with a ton of experience with these kinds of situations but he is based in Dumaguete and not sure if he has contacts in Manila or not...Well worth contacting him though via his web page below for top advice.

    https://dumagueteinfo.com/local-businesses/dumaguete-travel-agents-tour-guides-and-visa-processing/
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2018
  17. Callen
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    Callen New Member

    BOOTSONGROUND ....that's a good thought. Thank you. I am also thrown why if she had scammed me why she hasn't now blocked me across the board? She would know there would be no more money. I phoned the hospital. They confirmed she was there but now discharged. They would not give details of times...how long there.. treatment etc because I was not family. But Did confirm yes she was admitted and discharged. I emailed the local police. No reply but a local told me they won't tell you anything without payment. On top of this I know her home address from seeing official documents sent to me online when preparing visa applications. I know the address of her closest aunty and have her home phone numver. I have a lot of family personal information. So...if she planned a scam why would she trust me with so much? I am going to try again and get more information from the Hospital. And more importantly the Police. I have a local contact but they are reluctant to get involved with police things...or pretend to be "family" on phone to hospital. I am determined to get to the bottom of this. I need to know for sure if she is indeed innocent. Yes on the surface she looks guilty. It's natural with the initial facts to think scam.....maybe because it happens so often. But it doesn't all connect....thank you for the links...I am looking at those now
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  18. oss
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    oss Somewhere Staff Member

    Antipolo is just outside of Metro Manila, I have only been there once on the western outskirts but it looked pretty rough to me, advising him to pop over for a visit is pretty dangerous particularly for a first time visitor.
  19. Callen
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    Callen New Member

    Antipolo I believe is a so so area. Like anywhere else I guess. She actually lives in a new development area. Modern newish houses. But street robbery isn't uncommon anywhere except central Manila I imagine. London has an epidemic of moped street robbery at the moment.
  20. oss
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    oss Somewhere Staff Member

    Callen, I've not really followed your thread, some threads I read in detail others I miss, and I missed most of yours.

    Fourteen years ago my partner got robbed or so she said, the money was for the deposit on the rental of a condo unit, she was one month away from giving birth to our son at that point, the amount was about £500 I had been supporting her for months and from the sounds of it a lot more than you have been sending.

    I still don't believe that she was robbed, it's never happened again but I would bet anything that someone else in the family needed something at the time and I wasn't being told what it was.

    We are still together 14 years later, with two kids, but the relationship is not great and I have little trust in her even though she has been pretty good with money for quite a long time.

    Right now last month, May, and last week in June, I just paid out a lot for my kids school fees and supplies and last week had a blazing row because she was nearly broke one day after I sent the support money for the whole month, she had spent it on things the kids needed and I knew that she had a lot of outgoings, but I was so angry that she hadn't paid the basic bills, rent, water, electric before spending on anything else.

    The reason I was mad was that by not spending on the bills she had unlimited reign to force me to replace that money, after all what is the point in paying for the school if they haven't got a roof over their heads, I knew I had to send more and that wasn't a problem, the problem was being forced to send the amount she wanted rather than what she needed.

    I personally know and have met families over there that prey on foreigners, a married couple where the husband plays the part of brother when the rich Japanese boyfriend comes to visit, went on year after year after year, some of Ana's Barkada had pretty low moral standards.

    Money can be a very big issue in Brit-Fil relationships, not always but it is more often than most of us would like.

    During that fourteen years I lost around £40,000 directly through abuse of trust, it went on gambling, I've spent in total going on £200,000 and likely a bit more, of that about 22,000 went on my flights, the rest was just keeping them alive and she still doesn't accept that she is pretty well off, I have spent more on things like renting a car and some of the holidays we have had but that was me spending for me and I am not counting that.

    My point is that if you get further involved it will never get any easier, a lot of the folk on here have much simpler and happier stories to tell but one fundamental thing is that when you get into a relationship with a Filipino, you just got into a relationship with their entire family.

    And the pursuit of some kind of truth will likely end up hurting you and in the event she is telling the truth, her.

    For what it is worth, I wouldn't change any of my fourteen years with Ana, life is life we make of it what we will.
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2018
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