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dinner for 2

Discussion in 'Humour' started by bigmac, Aug 22, 2023.

  1. bigmac
    Online

    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.

    Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

    The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

    Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

    After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

    The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, “No he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”
    • Funny Funny x 3
  2. John Surrey
    Online

    John Surrey Well-Known Member

    Top 10 jokes of the 2023 Fringe
    1. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah - Lorna Rose Treen
    2. The most British thing I've ever heard? A lady who said 'Well I'm sorry, but I don't apologise.' - Liz Guterbock
    3. Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it's hardly worth it now - Amos Gill
    4. When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it's called a podcast - Sikisa
    5. I thought I'd start off with a joke about The Titanic - just to break the ice - Masai Graham
    6. How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag - Frank Lavender
    7. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic - Roger Swift
    8. I entered the 'How not to surrender' competition and I won hands down - Bennett Arron
    9. Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch - William Stone
    10. My grandma describes herself as being in her "twilight years" which I love because they're great films - Daniel Foxx
  3. CampelloChris
    Offline

    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    Anything remotely funny is sanitised, censored and run past a Politburo committee, after which, anything that could be possibly considered as offensive to any human, dead or alive is removed.

    Consequently, we end up with this puerile collection of Dad jokes, word puns and Christmas cracker rejects. But not to worry, because it appears that we are the last generation in possession of a functioning sense of humour.

    For your delectation

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