Advice needed.

I have recently met a new Filipina through some of her relatives for the first time about 3 weeks ago for coffee. Right after meeting her in person, we exchanged facebook information and were connected. We kept in daily contact right from day 1 until now. We exchanged most "get to know questions" and have built a rapport. The following week I saw her in church at the same time as her family was there. I didn't sit beside her but just behind the family. When we were making the "peace" process, she turned around and was stunned to see me. But we kept communicating. Just this past week I saw her at a local mall and her entire family I ran into again but this time a couple of aunts and uncles too. Both in the church and at the mall, she didn't say anything nor attempted to introduce me to her family. At the mall portion, I jumped into action and introduced myself to her family. So now her family knows who I am and I told them I was a friend of their daughter.

Questions I have is I still believe she's not comfortable going out with me yet and is turning down dates. Is it normal for a Filipina to refuse this or really is she playing hard to get? How long do you believe I should wait and be patient for something to perhaps click in? An added bonus is I bought her some pasalubong from a trip outside the country. When I came back, I made arrangements with her to deliver it plus some baked goods that I bought for her family. I told her that I didn't buy it just because I wanted to but I put my heart and my thoughts of doing that. She didn't say anything about it after except thanking me for the pasalubongs. There was no response about it so I was just wondering if I did the right thing by this gesture? She is very close with her family and I'm very good friends with one of her siblings I've known for over 10 years. I don't want to let them down either as they went to the trouble of introducing the both of us.

If she doesn't want to go out and just do the texting and messaging for now, should I remain patient for a bit and give her time? One last thing though she stated is I shouldn't expect too much except that we will become good friends. Typically before any sort of courting can take place, being friends with her is my first move to somehow "break the ice". She also stated she wasn't closing her doors either so based on that, I wonder if there's still a chance for something later down the road? I'm 1/2 Filipino and she's pure Filipino. Plus it's the very first time I've attempted to court a pure Filipina.

Any advice anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I agree with Aromulus' suggestion that the lady in question wants to be sure of her feelings and of your relationship before she introduces you to her family. Maybe her wariness can be partly explained by your Filipino genes, Pinoys not being especially noted for their loyalty and adherence to monogamous relationships. Give her time and give her space.

Hi John!
quite hard to pin point if she's playing hard to get or just really reserved.
Close family ties, going to church every Sunday are signs of a reserved Filipina.
Building a friendship with her first is a good move, you just have to be cautious not to hope too much so you won't fall for her deeply and then get disappointed if she wont develop feelings for you. She's probably shy to tell her family that you are courting her or something close to that.
Best way is to ask her if it's possible to visit her at her house, the parents/family will get to know you. A way to prove your intentions are good. Better get the parents permission as well if it's ok with them to take their daughter on a date. Its a tradition for some families and parents for sure will be happy that you respect them. If she turn you down, then I think she is not really interested other than friendship.
Try to take it easy, don't put pressure on your self as well. If you won't win a girl probably a good friend.
It's hard to put a timeline when will you give up. Listen to Your heart, it will tell you.
Good luck and I hope everything will turn out good for you.

Thank you all very much who have replied to my posting. I met this Filipina girl through her aunt and uncle at a coffee place. I've been very good friends with her auntie and uncle for over 10 years. They approached me 3 weeks ago if I was still single, not seeing anyone, and would be interested in meeting their niece. So I accepted, the aunt and uncle set the meeting up, and ever since then we have chatted and messaged everyday with each other. She gave me her phone number just 1 week ago and we txt each other when we're both not at home. Her aunt and uncle advised me if my interest was sincere and good for her cause to find a way to see her and her family. So when I delivered the pasalubong not only did I consider her but also included something for her family too. I guess I may have jumped the gun on this one and now the aunt and uncle will need to try and rescue me out of this one. If things do work out and continue, how should I approach her family next time now that I know them? How do I keep the rapport going? The reason why I believe she's playing hard to get is that when I just ask for a casual coffee (nothing serious), she refuses and states not being comfortable with me. So would it be a good move to remain patient and give it a few months. I guess her uncle told me it took him almost 6 months of chatting and communicating with his now wife before they courted for the first time. Do you think this would help? Luckily I have two ambassadors who can help me too but I just wanted some outside opinions too. Thanks

Another Addendum I must add to my previous posting is that her aunt and uncle invited me to attend a party next weekend and would set it up I would be seated at the same table as her family and give an even more better rapport of me to them. Do you think that will help?

Sorry another addendum I forgot on this last post about the mall meeting is we were texting each other about it and I told her that I would probably be going to the same mall later on. So to avoid the same error with the church thing I told her up front you might or might not see me depending where I am in the mall.

her aunt and uncle probably have talked to the parents about you, but still you shouldn't just rely on that.
Including the family in your sweet little gesture is actually good, perhaps they were just caught by surprise.
Just be yourself. Be respectful to the parents all the time. If you know the custom of pag mamano, you should do that everytime you meet them. Try to know her interest or hobbies, see if you share the same thing, if not find something that you both like.
Having something in common helps,. Remember you are not just trying to win her heart but her parents as well (it really does help if parents like you).
I understand her turning your invitation down, probably she wanted to get to know you more. She's just probably being cautious.
Am not trying to scare you but wooing a Filipina can take years sometimes. Lol!
Hope that helps!
Good luck!

It will help but I think its best if you ask the girl and her family first if it's ok. Perfect reason to visit her anyway,.
Hard to anticipate what would happen and probably best to avoid a very awkward situation. Good luck

She's "not closing the door" but she's turning down dates? Seriously? Forget about her and move on (unless you really feel that this is the true love of your life). It's not worth the hassle and you'll just end up becoming a bit of a stalker!

Oh yeah. So you did. Well if two of us feel that way then there must be some truth in it!

It's not worth running around after someone who doesn't seem particularly interested (and, yes, I've done it myself back in my younger and not so wise days). Any sign of negativity at this stage is not a good sign.

Move on before it starts eating you up inside!

I think you've frightened her off, sounds like she was like a rabbit caught in your headlights when she turned round in church and saw you there.

Too much too soon I'd say.

Proceed with haste repent at leisure

Wow! A lot of good replies. Some mixed opinions as well. We have a few things in common (and a few differences but only a few). As for beliefs on certain things in life we are pretty much bang on with the same thoughts- relationships, family, friends, etc. We talk every night and a lot of our conversations are positive. I try to talk about very light things and nothing too in debt about very personal matters. A new development an insiders secret her aunt told me from her closet tita was she is starting to get more comfortable with our conversations and wants to open up to me more but not too fast. We talk about some very personal things and most of those she came very opened about. If it's a girl thing then she doesn't have to tell but only if she's confortable. She has had feelings for a few previous courtings before that she freely told me about and just asking lightly what happened, what went wrong, etc. I just listened completely about her concerns and be supportive for her just being there for her. In terms of some comments regarding stalking, I don't portray myself to be that way and I always give her space as well. Talking more in depth with her she just wants to be slower and if it will take time to develop I'm cool with that. However I felt that the better communication we have bee doing is just as important too. Dane, your feedback has been very helpful! I'm very aware of pag mamano because my other half of my family have those beliefs too. I've grown more to adapt to that. You could be right, she just needs to be more assured and get to know me more. When I gave her those pasalubong I told her I wasn't giving it just because but I wanted to in pure thoughtfulness. I guess today her aunt and uncle who's my close friends that heavily vouched for me will get more "inside secrets" in order to proceed to the next stage. I've heard in many cases too that some courtships take many years but if that's the case, wouldn't it be worth it? I don't typically give up that easily especially we chat daily right from day 1.

Well, I am certainly no expert on courting Filipinas, but I think "take it steadily" and let the aunt and uncle speak for you, since they clearly think this is a possible match.

Pag mamano is always nice. You may be met with "Hind ako matanda!" but it is always good to make the effort. I like it when children do it to me.

Yes the attempt was offered which is why we chose the mall method instead and the office.

I echo some other replies - back off and see what happens.
Don't be too keen and look needy.

If she likes you she will let you know.
If she doesn't make overtures, move on.