I figured I'd open a can of worms here.. I was trying most definitely to 'not point a finger' at all. Older western men with younger eastern women has been going on for centuries.. god knows how many wives Henry VIII would have had if he had access to the phillipines!!! All I'm saying is that these forums, and their ilk, I've been trying for maybe 10 years or so, and I'm the minority.. I'm sorry if you've been offended, that wasn't my intention, I'm one of the rare westerners who actually embraces filipino culture, my in-laws find it strange I encourage my daughters to speak Hilliginon (whoever you spell it!) and eat fil foods and keep fil traditions.. I merely commented on what I see, and what is on the forums.. Sorry I offended your relationship.. seems you took it real personal, I can't think why, my post was open-minded as you like.. I stayed away because I knew I had opened a potentially big and nasty subject.. I think it's fair to discuss, I told you the stuff I suffer when talking about my wife, I can't understand why you went mental for me telling the truth.. You might have found true love over the internet.. WHY are you desperate to tell me this is the case? Is it because you are desperate not to be under the same label that I put on older guys and fil women? Does anyone care? I don't. I simply wrote what I found, around the world, and also on forums, quite why you took umbrage is beyond me.. I'm not belittling you in anyway, yet you have behaved like I have slighted you.. Anyways, I'll still come back here, mainly because I see actually there's a good cross-section of folks and most of them are very amiable.
There was a girl, there was a boy If they had met they might have found a world of joy But she lived on the morning side of the mountain And he lived on the twilight side of the hill They never met, they never kissed And they will never know what happiness they missed For she lived on the morning side of the mountain And he lived on the twilight side of the hill For love's a rose that never grows Without the kiss of the morning dew And every Jack must have a Jill To know the thrill of a dream that comes true And you and I are just like they For all we know our love is just a kiss away But you are on the morning side of the mountain And I am on the twilight side of the hill For love's a rose that never grows Without the kiss of the morning dew And every Jack must have a Jill To know the thrill of a dream that comes true And you and I are just like they For all we know our love is just a kiss away But you are on the morning side of the mountain And I am on the twilight side of the hill
I think that I made my case quite clearly as to why I took offence. I found the tone of your post to be particularly prejudiced and poorly thought out, some of the points you argued too generalistic and others deliberately antagonistic, and your own eagerness to separate yourself away from all the other people involved in western/asian relationships to be a clear indication of your feelings towards others who are involved in said relationships. So don't come the 'Oops, have I said something wrong?' with me chum. I'm not desperate to explain my case to you at all, but I'm not one to refuse to fight my corner either. If you knew it was 'a can of worms' that you were opening, there's no need to then try to come the wide-eyed innocent when people call you out for being sanctimonious and prejudiced. Perhaps if you have been trying to understand something for ten years, and still can't, then perhaps it's time to accept your own limitations. Here's an example of what I found offensive: "as I can see, lots seem to be at the 'last chance saloon', either because of age, or generally because they are unacceptable to the general populous. I'm not poking a finger at anyone, as everyone has a right to happiness, it's just I see lots who have taken the 'easy option'." To paraphrase another member on here, "g.f.y"
As someone who commented on your post before, I wasn't offended by it at all. Sorry about that. I'm sure it was your intention. I just thought you came across as really full of yourself and overly keen to inform everyone that your relationship is better than everyone else's just because your wife is older than you and you met her at work. In other words, you came across as a big head, and are doing the same again with this post. Nobody here found true love over the internet, even if that's how they and their partners did first become aware of each other. Everyone got to know their wives by meeting them in person. And, by the way, pairing off with someone at work has always seemed a bit naff in my book. But you're happy with that, so good luck to you. I just don't see it as anything to brag about. The only person here who seems desperate to let everyone know how he and his wife met is you.
I had to reduce it from the plural. "Themselves" became "yourself" - which now needs to be change to "himself" while speaking to you. Anyway, I have high hopes that he will be able to figure it out inside his ten year record time.
Not offended; K and I laugh about the age difference. I quote from her speech in reply when we married: "I was a talent manager in our local film industry. In January 2011, I was looking for Caucasian extras when I spotted two old foreigners deep in conversation in a restaurant. So I gave them my number. One of them was good looking and charming. The other one was Andrew - and he kept it! "
It was less about the age difference - something I can do little about (nor bother about), but the "last chance saloon", "socially unacceptable", "easy option", "people exploiting poverty", "poor relationship skills" crap that I found offensive. And of course the holier-than-thou comparison to his own "whiter-than-white" relationship.
Like I said, I'm not here to judge anyone, and this answer is perfectly fine. As I said in my post earlier, I've dated many women from lots of different cultures, and Fil women are great, they hold many strong family values, some which I myself think are great in this modern day and age.. Yes on uk fil forums I am in a minority, when I said 'natural', I meant meeting a girl/woman at work or on the street, not through a dating site/ computer.. (BTW graham59, I'm not singling you out just your reply was perfect.) Like I said, it's all my observations, and yes I also explained my observations on what the general populous seems to think about my union with my wife.. literally people asking 'were you that desperate?'.. yes I've seethed, quite a bit, you can imagine their expression when I go on to say my wife has a masters and earns quite comfortably more than they do.. lol DJB, why do you find this thread offensive? If your relationship is fine what is the problem? We are talking the cold hard facts of what is a partnership, I tell you this, if my wife passed away, I would remarry because I'm a partner person, I need company, would I choose someone 30 years my junior? Not so sure, I think I'd go with someone my own age, they'll look 20 years younger than me anyway!!! (damn cheating fils!) I can't understand how with like a 30 year age gap, anyone would have anything in common.. (maybe it's just me!) I've met many folks, I've been to the fil about 20 times in last 12 years, I go to Mindinao, so it's off the beaten track, I don't go for the sex industry, I go to see family and the country, but the folks I have met in the hotels, are of a certain way.. not to say all, but most look at their 'wife' as an object.. and it comes across everytime.. People who have had failed marriages or never even had a girlfriend and are nerds.. it comes up time after time.. Nobody is saying this is 'taking advantage', arguably it could be said the women are taking advantage of the men, it is tit for tat.. Not sure why Campello has got so offended tbh, he seems to think I have taken a dent out of his 'pride', he's taken it personally that he's married to someone 18 years his junior, and seems to think I have slighted him by explaining my experiences.. Newsflash, I have known and do know WHITE people with a bigger age gap, YOU really aren't that important, yet you want to jump up and down for no apparent reason.. maybe YOU need to look at yourself, you seem so willing to be offended, there obviously is some sort of thing going on in your head mate.. I'm not here to be an arse, I actually came here looking for other guys and gals in the uk who do stuff and want to meet up. It's not actually even for me, it's for my wife, see? damn sucker... Anyways, I'm willing to bury any hatchets etc, I'm a normal bloke and I say it as i see it.. sorry if anyone gets offended..
@BrummieBen you say you encourage your daughters to speak (and I will spell it correctly)Hiligaynon when you cant spell it correctly or it would appear take the time to research how its spelt,how does that work?
yes I didn't bother to check the spelling on Hillygynon, but I don't care, my kids are learning it and it's great that my wifes mum and dad on skype can see this.. ( they speak very limited english) Call me a troll for all you like, I've merely commented on what I see, if that doesn't sit well with you, then look to yourselves..
