Oh and just to clarify she is right up on the incessant nagging, but as she says, it's all for us.. lol I must be mad or in love, maybe both.. sometimes it's nice to hear these things on forums, rather than comparing or out-aging each other no? Sometimes I read threads and feel genuine sorrow for the women 'stuck' with their men, still, I guess you make your bed and you have to lie in it.
Well, congratulations on being together for 12 years my friend. That's how long I'd been married to my Filipina 'mail order bride' before she buggered off with a younger model. To quote you: 'I'm not against anyone enjoying some happiness in their life, particularly if they haven't experienced it, be it because of bad relationships in the past or they are just plain shy'. I agree with the above. Let's wish the members on here many years of future happiness with their partners... whatever the age difference.
I have quite a few things to say in reply to Brummieben's post no.22 above. First, I have two very good and extremely sucessful friends who met on the Internet - he's Singaporean, she's Australian, though they both have UK citizenship (and a large house in the Suffolk countryside, a teenage daughter at boarding school, etc, etc) Second, there was a saying, "Call no man happy until he is dead", which occurs in Aeschylus' tragedy "Agamemnon" - Agamemon, the High King of Greece, was murdered by his wife, Clytemnestra... and it is rather pertinent to these matters, as both Graham and I found out. Third, anyone who thinks that importing a bride from outside the EU is in any way a simple quick or easy way to get married is out of their tiny cotton picking little mind. Fourth, there are many cases of spouses and boyfriends of Filipinas being "taken for a ride" by family members.
Indeed not, but being on your own as old age approaches is miserable. Being poor and without prospects is miserable. Both conditions also shorten your life expectancy. To insist on "true love" in such cases is to condemn a great many people to avoidable misery. I know that for me, my "default condition" is the very ordinary one of being a family man. K came with a ready made seven year old who has called me Daddy since he was two. I make no distinction between ready made children and do it yourself children. They all need love, order, security and some stimulation and excitement.
The fact is whether the forum be a Filipino, Chinese, Thai so on and so on you're going to have old codgers with young ladies, that's the way it has always been and that's the way it will always be. Filipinas are extremely shrewd and in a lot of cases are more than willing to take the risk of marrying a foreigner who is not necessarily there ideal match so they may better themselves and their families, they are able to tolerate a lot as we all know. Its all about balance, in a lot of cases it works both ways, as long as we are not kidding ourselves then everything is just dandy. Filipinas are the best at playing the long game, they are smart, even the dumb ones are smart when it comes to relationships
I know you think along the same lines bigmac on this subject, its clear to us, to others its not so clear
No mate, I was at the 'Sick and tired of choosing second-rate relationships that didn't tick all the boxes saloon' It seems like you are indeed poking your finger, or at the very least being guilty of generalisation and prejudice. I have been trying to bring my wife to Spain for the past ten months. We have overcome some pretty huge obstacles on the way. I'm no rich guy - the opposite in fact. I have begged, borrowed and considered stealing in order to visit my wife three times in the two and a half years since we met online. Nothing. I repeat. Nothing has been 'easy'. Oh, and thanks very much for granting me the 'right to happiness'. I got with my wife because we spent the first six months of our relationship slowly getting to know one another via texts, phone and video calls and emails. Because of this, I feel that I knew her intimately before anything intimate happened. That was a real luxury. To be able to take the time to really get to know someone. Following my first visit, we spent another six months apart, getting to know each other even more, before I could get enough money together (see above) to return, and spend a month there. And as much as we were in love, no couple can spend all that time cooing down the phone to one another. We had conversations on all levels and subjects. And we got on. It happened naturally. Again with the generalisation. You appear to have a fairly low opinion of Filipinos. Do you think that they are incapable of feeling love? That every decision is based on some mercenary inner belief? Do you feel that only people of a similar age are capable of falling in love in a genuine manner? And why differentiate between Filipinos and others? Surely any woman's decision to look for a partner may include wanting security for herself and their children? And if an older man offers more in the way of stability, faithfulness and security in her opinion, then it might just be a conscious decision of hers to search for an older man, be she Filipino, Arapaho or Eskimo. Accusing my wife of exploiting my poverty is a bit low Ben! In seriousness, I discussed this aspect of our relationship. Melody laughed at me. She said that she had quickly worked out that I didn't have pots of money, but she had fallen in love with me anyway. As she said, she could have held out for a rich man, but she wanted to be rich in love, not in money. You can't have it both ways Ben. First you accuse guys of being some freakish dysfunctional drinker at the last chance saloon, and then a cocksure exploiter of poverty-stricken maidens. And your experience of this is? You really do only have great big brushes with which to paint. I wasn't desperate. I was however determined to find someone. And that someone had to embrace old-fashioned values when it came to love and marriage, family and personal values. I found those in my wife, and whether she was younger, older or my age was irrelevant. I have heard these types of comments too, but treat them with the contempt they deserve. People can be judgmental, bigoted, racist, prejudiced and ignorant, and frequently are. If somebody thinks I settled for second-best, I have news for them! You appear to be very concerned with what others think of your relationship, and eager to jump forward and explain yourself to them. Personally, I am not really bothered what people think of my relationship. I'm happy. My wife is happy. That's all there is for them to know. I'm in a normal man meets woman relationship, made possible by the internet. I didn't pay a fee. Well good for you Ben. Ask your wife what she was looking for. Did she want security? Faithfulness? A family? Respect? Honesty? Clearly, you ticked all of her boxes. Doesn't every woman have the right to make their choice based on what they want from a partner? From a personal point of view, my wife is estranged from her family. They are all Jehovah's Witnesses and she didn't want that. Didn't want to marry someone she didn't love. And was prepared to leave her family over her principles. She was married in white, and deservedly so. She has incredible inner strength. And she chose me. I'm proud to be her husband, and not for an instant would I believe that I was 'any port in a storm' or a guaranteed meal-ticket. But Ben, your post does little else, other than condescend towards those who meet online and conduct a long-distance relationship. ...Which is exactly why I chose not to look within my immediate circle of friends and acquaintances. Hence my use of the internet. Most of my previous relationships came via friends and family introductions. People have set me up with 'someone who is perfect for you' but somehow, they weren't. I think I've done a much better job on my own. Ben. I'm surprised that more members on here haven't jumped all over some of the accusations that you've made, and the generalisations you've used in forming your opinions. I'm surprised that some of the Filipinos haven't jumped on you for making assumptions that mercenary tendencies run thick in their veins. I'm not normally the sort of person who gives a damn about whatever someone else thinks of my relationship, as it truly is none of their damned business. But as a fellow Brit/Phil, I would have hoped you might be a little more informed, and sensitive about making judgments over the quality and motivation of relationships of people you have yet to meet.
@BrummieBen I strongly suggest you read and digest the contents of @CampelloChris response it may help you!!
I'm pretty much keeping out of this. We have a large age difference, but comments I read about age-gap or British-Filipino relationships always seem to bear no relevance to how me and Luz are so there's no point getting involved. One thing I will say, though, is that BrummieBen's post was possibly the biggest pile of sanctimonious crap I've ever had the misfortune to read on here.
I asked the missus why Filipino women like older foreign man. She says because they are more respectful of women than younger men and Filipino men' who she describes as 'stupid' because they are obsessed with having affairs to prove they are 'men'. So I said that some people on here say it's for money and financial security. 'Oh. I married the wrong one then,' she said.
She's now singing along to Avril Lavigne on Youtube, and saying 'I'm a teenager my love. You married a teenager my love'. I knew I should have kept quiet about this!
I asked a male Filipino friend the same question, he said that it was because the older ones don't last so long until the wife can get their pension.
This is a photo of my wife chatting to the wives of three of my friends, at our wedding. There's an "Internet Bride" in this picture. It's not the one on the right.
Which rather proves her point that Filipino men are 'stupid'. Seriously. Do you honestly think someone would choose to spend a lifetime with someone they don't really get on with just for a share in a measly pension? This is a different world to the one I inhabit fortunately.
Wow!!! Your girl is a very lucky lady no doubt about it...From your sentiments,you are also a very lucky man...I have no personal doubts about your personal relationship whatsoever that you have with your girl or visa versa..Anyone that has after reading that post of yours must be just plain dumb IMO!! That said...(here we go).......Its not always that way unfortunately ..I hope you dont think that I`m generalizing when I tell you that it does not always go that way..Quite often the opposite. Our living expenses here derive from tenants..Usually Girls or guys from abroad that have hooked up with a local.. My Mrs usually gets the whole story within weeks or months of their stay..(she would prefer none at all) Usually from the girl,but also sometimes from the guy... Got to be careful here as I dont want to put these relationships on any parallel with any member of this forum.. Thats not my intention..Promise. Actually..I have just decided to just shut up because these stories or anecdotes do no one here here any good whatsoever... Man!!! This is a tough subject no doubt about it. Not sure if I should post this or not but me being me I will anyway.. You should write a book mate... I`d buy it.
