A women of 25 with a bloke of 45 Don't seen that bad And 30 to 50 ain't either But when you get 60 odds marrying 20 years old Isn't that a bit obvious in the desperate stakes ???
Seen it a fair bit in the philippines. My attitude is if they are both happy then who am I to judge? I spoke to one nice american about it, he was in his 60's and his wife mid to late 20's. His philosophy was that his family name will continue in their son and he's having a good time while he runs his years out. He knew that his wife loved him but also he was aware that he managed to provide a stable life for her (built a house etc), their child and some of her family. If their happy its no ones business but their own. Strange you put the male as the eldest in your question, what if it was the other way round? As I've said I don't care as long as their happy
I'm personally not into big age differences but if people can cope with the stigma attached to it then they can get on with it, its their decision and their life . This thread is very apt, I'm in a hotel in Harare at the moment and was accosted by a tart not 30 minutes back in the bar asking if I would like a massage, I told her she was young enough to be my daughter and that I didn't go in for that sort of thing. If it was 20 years back then I know it would have been a different story, especially with drink on-board, it was almost refreshing to say no thanks
I wish id stuck it out til i was 78 and married a 20 year old Joking aside, i think Stu's comments sum it up for me. If the couple is happy and love each other, who's business is it. Those who make those comments would only find something else to talk about.
'Jimmy' ... I think you're starting to get progressively more offensive with your posts. Are you bored ?
I was thinking the same thing. I don't think its very well worded to say the least. I must admit I did delete my first response for something more level headed
But in all Honesty with Victoria wood conking out at 62 and prince at 57 ...who cares really..we are all in it to win it.
Nope. There is nothing unusual in relationships of adults of consenting age. So why post the question in the first place if you now say you don't care? Just getting the post count up?
I never said it was "my opinion" at any stage. Just for debate purposes - as I can see why people would bring it up.
To be fair to Jimmy, there are plenty of bigoted, ignorant and prejudiced attitudes 'out there' that are far worse than he has inferred. If people on these boards are hugely (and genuinely) offended by the post, then maybe some skin-thickening agent could be of use. I'm 53. My wife Melody is 34. There's an 18-year age gap between us, and I suppose I fall somewhere between a husband and a father figure from both sides of our relationship. There is also the interracial aspect to be taken into account, plus the cultural differences between us. However, I don't give a rats ass what people think anymore. I learned a long time ago that it's a waste of time and energy trying to please them, and I don't have to explain myself or earn their approval. People I know have referred to Melody as "Ting-Tong". They have asked if she is a "Ladyboy". They have asked if she speaks English. They have no idea where the Philippines is. No idea of the culture, no reference point regarding the history of the country. Most people are utterly ignorant of almost any aspect of the lives of Filipino people unless a typhoon hits. Why should I bother what they think? They clearly don't "think". Why should I respect them when they can barely respect themselves? Most English men of my age who have married 'one of ours' of a similar age have ended up with some uber-dominant spiteful bitch, consumed in her own bitterness and resentment, or desperately proud of their wealth. Men are usually portrayed as being utter buffoons on TV, especially in ad-land, and it's beginning to affect the thinking of women. In our efforts to create equality, we have created a gender with all the negative traits of 70's men. Having not found anyone suitable among the English women of my age, I chose my wife after a great deal of belly-button gazing and introspection. I chose a woman who could love me without resentment and one who takes pride in supporting her husband. She knows that she will be loved and supported in return, but this is not the driver of her motivation. I chose a woman who has respect for herself and for me. She has worked out that she will then be afforded respect by me and by others. I chose a woman who realises that the success of her marriage and her life depends on what she puts into it, and not on what she can take out of it. And she gets a husband who will put 'us' first in all his decisions. I chose a woman who chose a man who thinks the same things. I chose a woman who knows that she will have to work hard to make a success of things, and not feel that the world owes her a living. I chose a woman who is happy in her skin, and who is happy to be a woman. She knows that I'm not going to stray because she puts in the effort to keep me from doing so. She knows that I will work hard to provide her with her needs, and appreciates the efforts I make to do so. She knows that by treating me like a king, she gets treated like a queen in return. I like to think that both chose well. Age, racial and cultural differences mean nothing when you find someone who thinks and feels the same way.
The only desperate thing ive noticed is the subject matter and negativety of some of your threads ,which Ive kept out of and will continue to do so
Just to wade in here.. I have been trying to 'get' uk filipino forums for a while , like 10 years or more, as far as I can see, lots seem to be at the 'last chance saloon', either because of age, or generally because they are unacceptable to the general populous. I'm not poking a finger at anyone, as everyone has a right to happiness, it's just I see lots who have taken the 'easy option'. I have been with my wife 12 (8 married) years, we have 2 beautiful daughters. I met my wife at work as a nurse, I worked with her for 4 years before we hooked up. SHE'S OLDER THAN ME!!!! (yeah I know I did it arse-backwards!) I would describe myself as reasonable looking, I'm very out-going, as such never had a problem with women ever. It helps I'm near 6" and about 15 stone, a tad of Dad flab now, but not a big belly type! Thing I'm saying is this, I got with my wife because it happened naturally, no trawling of dating sites or holidays. I've been to Mindinao maybe 8 times now, I probably could have been married 100 times over, in fact I do like how Filipinas will actually complement my wife on the good catch.. lolz.. I've met many folks married to filipinas, at hotels etc, 9 times out of 10 they are much older like 20+years), not to say they repulse me, most are very amiable folks, but I do see how they wouldn't have done so well (relationship wise) back in their homeland. I'd say roughly, I meet maybe 10% of foreigners who are married same age, this is the way it is in the Philippines, people marry to help their family/ start a family and so the age is disregarded. Is it that people are exploiting poverty? I think that's the ugly part that I have a hard time dealing with.. A typical 'bride' will give 20 - 30 years of her life and maybe have children to ensure her family are taken care of. If the husband is a nice guy then all is good, but, and this is a big BUT, most people going after these 30-40 year younger brides usually exhibit very poor relationship skills.. I have seen many times this borne out on forums and in real life.. (much to my dismay) I'm a Welshman who now resides in Birmingham, I'm whiter than white, I've heard all the derogatory one liners you can mention. As soon as you mention filipino wife, EVERYONE and I mean everyone immediately thinks mail-order, I've even had women saying 'were you that desperate?' !!! As I alluded to earlier in this post, my wife is 2 years older than me, she is more senior (at work) than me, looks much younger than me!! (grr curse you eastern women!) I've dated women from all over, (I worked at a bar near a uni for 6 years!) and I've never met anyone like her. I also like the way she has certain standards, she never swears, family is all, etc, there's no way I'd date a uk girl ever again lol.. So aside from the OP maybe you folks can understand where I'm coming from. I'm in a normal; boy meets girl relationship, no computers needed or fees. I've spoke to or seen posts from about 5 people like this in 10+ years on a variety of uk filipino forums.. nearly every other post is 'how to bring them back' etc, sometimes I feel like I'm the weird one as there's seemingly nobody in my position. I'm not against anyone enjoying some happiness in their life, particularly if they haven't experienced it, be it because of bad relationships in the past or they are just plain shy. The overwhelming thought to me and surely to the people who have a relationship/marry filipinas across the internet/phone, must be 'do they really love me?' 'or is it what I can furnish them and their families?' I'm very lucky in this respect because it doesn't apply, but I do wonder about how it sits on some. Rather an odd post I know, just some things I've noticed myself, not pointing any fingers or any some-such, personally I believe the filipino culture is one which should be respected, family being first and they also adhere to much better principles than most western women. (3 months of dating before I even got a kiss!!!) If I was advising anyone looking for a wife, I'd suggest filipino, yes you get some scumbags, (but you do in all walks of life,) but for a life partner you can't go wrong. If I was going to advise anyone on meeting someone from the fil, I'd meet up with a local fil event, there's loads about, there are currently estimated to be 2-300,000 filipinos in the uk, they all love to party, and they love cheesey events!!! Making friends is easy and in time there are always sisters, cousins, friends who might be interested to chat and get to know people.. This in my book is a far safer way to meet than some random on the internet - although this can and does work. But if you are introduced by friends or family surely is better. Mind some scams INVOLVE friends and family!!! But so far no troubles in my group, and as most have been in the uk near 15 years now, there are several 'whites' at our parties and events who have met people purely through friends and family.. I hope some noobies read this, those on dating sites etc there is no reason not to go to your local fil events, usually they happen every month and everyone is welcome. Never met nicer folks, especially if you are white!! They are usually a bit shy and stand-offish at first, but if you get stuck in with the games and food and singing, soon everyone wants to chat. I'm a convert, it's got to the stage where if I see a fil in the city I always ask comesta? to be greeted by a mabbuttie lol.. they really are the most approachable folks.. Anyways, sorry for the enormous read, as you can see I do have my frustrations as I'm in a minority (or so it seems), but I'm here speaking up for others in my position and maybe offer others who may not be the most out-going the chance to have some fun and enjoy life.. This is one thing I came to understand very quickly, there are many things you can say about the Philippines and it's people, but they really do know how to enjoy life and how to live life to the full. In Western Society there is too much pressure and the important things are pushed aside, we would do well to take a leaf from our Fil friends, they work hard, but they most certainly enjoy partying hard!!!
