Better not Mate at least on an open forum.. As I said earlier...It would serve no purpose as some may say I was drawing parallels to their own circumstances which would not be my wish.. All I will say is that,often some people come here and badly mistake their culture for ours and often times they get everything back to front... It took me years to learn this and until this very day I am not convinced yet that I got it right. I`m still living and still trying to learn....If I had hair,it would be very very curly by now..
Ahhh... I take your point. After a number of years I know very little, but certainly more than I did. I remember finding this little book very useful: http://www.amazon.com/Culture-Philippines-Survival-Customs-Etiquette/dp/1558680896
You need to start reading the posts properly, I can see from the post above that you like to read between the lines, BrummieBen is as entitled to his opinion just like the rest of us, you do not need to rant on and try to put the chap down just because he is being open and honest. I asked my wife how people generally feel about large age gap relationships in the Philippines and she says that it is frowned upon just like it is in the UK.
I don't NEED to learn to read properly, and there was quite enough to read among the lines without needing to read between them. I haven't criticised his relationship - not like he has ours in his assumptions regarding the motivations behind our choices. The age difference between my wife and I is 18 years. That's something I'm comfortable with, and something that Melody actively sought. Whether or not it's 'frowned upon by Filipinos' is not for me to decide, nor care about. Should I be concerned what other people think? Should I kowtow to the racists? The bigoted? The prejudiced? Those who would 'pigeon-hole' my marriage? I don't think so, but I reserve the right to take offence when ignorance and judgmental people express their opinions. I agree with you that they have the right to do so, and I maintain that I have the right to reply. As far as 'putting the chap down' goes, I don't think I did, but you too are entitled to your opinion. Mine is that through the wonders of modern technology and social networking, I have found myself a first-class wife, and she has found herself a faithful and hard-working husband, determined to make the marriage work. Brummie Ben has inferred that those of us men who enter into a May to September relationship are some kind of social misfit. He also suggests that the motives for the choices made are based ONLY on self-sacrifice on behalf of the younger wives in order to provide for their families. In making such an allusion - (that a woman in a relationship such as mine would have chosen to give herself physically to me only for financial rewards is not a pleasant inference to make, and an opinion which I find offensive.) He is all too ready to distinguish himself as 'Whiter than white' in that his relationship happened 'naturally' - which again insinuates that unless a relationship begins on a face-to-face basis, it is unnatural. A forum is a place for the exchange of opinions and healthy debate, and my reply to his long post was long and detailed. Well that's kind of the idea isn't it? You're going to have to help me out on the 'putting the chap down' bit. I read my reply and thought it was quite restrained in the face of such provocative comments. Yours sincerely Chris Internet Predator & Exploiter of the Poor The Last Chance Saloon Misfit City
in my opinion its nobodies business but the couple, if age isn't a problem for them then nobody has the right to tell them its wrong, as long as the girl/guy is of a decent age and they are happy with an older partner its between them
I am 58 Juby 52 I carry these quotes with me You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do – Eleanor Roosevelt Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, define yourself – Robert Frost
All I can say Chris is that you must have been reading a different post from me, I didn't find it in the slightest offensive, just someone giving their two penneth like the rest of us.
This is a very delicate area for discussion, and in general discussions on the Internet are worse tempered than they would be face to face, yet this is not a subject that can be discussed face to face, because people would be bound to "take it personally". So its all a bit tricky.
the big interacial age gaps, when men are on average quite considerably older than they are in homogenous same ethnicity marriages, is a money thing, but also a male fantasy thing. look at Japan. There is now many mixed marriages there. But usually, the only big age gaps you see are when mainly rural Japanese men take younger foreign women from poorer countries, like the Philippines, and often via the internet, as wives. these Japanese guys with younger Filipino wives are not rich by Japanese standards. But they they are rich by Philippines standards. but it is not just Japanese men that have foreign partners. Japanese women are increasingly having foreign partners too. however the Japanese women with foreign partners have a different profile to the Japanese men with foreign partners. The Japanese women with foreign partners, do not tend to be rural and not so affluent like the Japanese men with foreign partners tend to be, but urban, and relatively affluent. When Japanese women marry foreigners, and they do, the foreign men are almost never 20-30 years older like they can be when a westerner man, or indeed a Japanese man, marries a Filipino woman.
Corina and I are well aware that our age difference is unacceptable. Neither of us was looking for such a relationship. In fact neither of us was looking at all. She wanted to be single and after two failed marriages I had had enough of it. It's awkward. But on a day to day basis we don't pay much attention to it.
Dont like this thread, I know off one or two members on here with a 30+ age gap will find this thread insulting and maybe a little worrying. We have a big meeting coming up in Birmingham and I would hate to think anyone would be off put by reading this drivel.
not just the Filipino one, but go go to the Japanese friendship meeting too. You will find that, unlike with Filipino women, none or almost none of the Japanese women are married to western guys who are 30+ years older. Whereas with the Filipino one, quite a few of the Filipino women will have much older husbands. You will observe this marked difference straight away. The next thing to do, is ask yourself why.
most of my friends are women of a certain age--and they know exactly why i have a much younger partner. or--they think they know.
No need for any clever analysis. I'm a 60+ bloke who is able to find an attentive, sweet, loving and sexy partner, 30+ years my junior... so she also looks great. It aint rocket science folks.. and I'm not going to apologise to jealous people for exercising my free choice in life. Anyone doesn't approve ? Tough !
