Just to give you some social background to the British way of life, families started to fragment around the early 70's throughout the 1950's to 1965 ish, this was known as the Golden age, a time when Dad used to go to work in his full employment, he would make the money by which the family lived on, and then Mum would stay at home with the children and look after the household, they were an independant family unit and self sufficient.

During the 1970's when many of the UK's major manufacturing industries started to decline, the economy changed to a knowledge and serviced based economy, many women entered the work place for the first time, girls got pregnant at an earlier age, social programmes for housing and welfare were more readily available, families started to fragment and the single parent family was born, the British people simply became more self reliant as more and more women entered the work place, hence the British peoples very independant way of self sufficiency without the need to receive any help from immediate family.

The Filipino economy hasnt changed very much in the last 30 years, it very much relies on inward investment, but much more importantly and very much mis-understood the "personal investment that comes Eastwards" the Filipino economy thrives on inward bound remittances, these are the lifeblood of all local economies, from provincial, City, Barangay and Purok economies, in any Purok ( smallest unit of population living together) there are always relatives, siblings and Parents, receiving some form of overseas inward bound remittances from an oversees foreign worker, or spouse/fiancee in the family.

Because the inward bound remittances are so important to the local economies, the Philippines would have much trouble trying to be self sufficient without it, this is because the family structure in the Philippines is designed to be inter-dependant, not independant, in other words, you have heard the phrase, "No chicken without the egg - no egg without the chicken" this is exactly how the Filipino family unit works, children grow up, they get married, they have children, they put their children to university and colleges, the kids graduate look for work, or go overaseas, get jobs, send money for the parents, who are now being supported, the parents supported their children when they were growing, the children repay that with their support when the parents are not in the job market, or are no longer able to work, a great system you might think, and it is !!, its a pity they didnt export it here, and there is never any suggestion in a Filipino family, of putting Lola (Grandmother) into a care home and locking her away.

Back to remittances and sustenance, yes where were we ? How does this affect a British husband ? it can effect him almost straight away, there is an old saying in Western-Filipino relationships it goes like this " When you marry a Filipina, you marry the family" in the majority of cases, the Filipina bride who flies to a foreign land, is expected to send remittances for her immediate family, she would often want to send her Mother a baon ( allowance) this will generally help with family bills, such as aircon costs, food, medicines, and any other bills, very often parents over the age of 50 are not working, they rely on local business they might have, but these often bring in a modest income, its not always enough for them to survive, they might also want to support a cousin, or neice or nephew with school fees, they might also want to send something for a brother or a sister, or for hospital bill, or house payments there is a multitude of reasons she might feel obliged to help, don't get me wrong, some families in the Philippines do not put any pressure on the foreign married daughter, many of them have also good incomes, but there are occasions when the daughter will be expected to send money, and this will be a regular monthly amount.

The British husband generally has a hard time understanding this, because any money he gives his wife for an allowance, generally gets saved and ferreted away like a secret squirrel, this is then remitted to the Philippines, he never really gets to undestand that this is not only an accepted custom, its part of the cultural way of life of the average Filipino, and it wouldnt matter where they were, they would still do it, even if you forbid them to do it.

Foreign earned remittances are not the prerogative of the Rich foreign resident Filipina wife, there are thousands of overseas contract workers, Nurses, Engineers, and many other skilled and educated Filipinos working in the United Kingdom, there are also thousands of undocumented "overstayers" these ones are working in the informal economy, earning those hard earned pounds to be converted back into Philippine pesos, to be sent back via Western Union, and the dozen or so remittance companies which are growing in London and many of our major cities, these ones generally arrive in the United Kingdom on the basis of a short stay tourist visa, if they are lucky enough to get into the United Kingdom on a tourist visa whether it by standard channels, or as the result of a 'Fixed" visa, they rarely return home at the end of their 'Vacation" there are of course many Filipinos who are resident in the United Kingdom who have a legal right to be as such, with the undocumented workers, and the legal status workers who are here at the invitation of the Government, this accounts for an awful lot of remittances flowing Eastwards back to the Philippines.

These ones are not here for any other reason than to earn valuable foreign currency, of which the primary motive is to support their extended family, there is not one person of Filipino extraction who is working in the United Kingdom, who is not supporting at least one other human being, whether it be their own child, Mother, Father, brother sister, neice, nephew, Aunty, Lola, Lolo, Tita, Tito, and the list goes on, if this is true, and take it from me, it is, then why would you consider it strange, that your next of kin, that is your wife or wife to be, will not expect to be doing exactly the same, just because they got married to you, does not mean they are immune from any of the obligations of others who are in the country for that very reason, it is a requirement and is expected, that any senior daughter in the family, once married and settled in the UK, will be expected or will feel an obligation to send some form of sustento back to the Philippines, so what are the examples of this, and what is the money for ?

1. The provision of educational fees for siblings.
2. The provision of living costs for parents, or immediate relatives
3. A Lump sum payment for a new house or shelter.
4. A payment to help restore a damaged building from a Typhoon.
5. Help with a house payment.
6. Emergency medical costs
7. A Doctors Bill.

Its important here to stress something to you British husbands, you might have seen the incredible poverty that exists in the Philippines, and you might say " Oh thats bad " but really, if you are honest with yourselves, you can never truly understand what it is like, unless you tried living on the shores of Manila bay for a month, on USD 1.00 per day, and had to defacate in a plastic bag, this might sober you up a little, I can guarantee you that no daughter of a Filipino family, who is married and living in Western Europe, who is eating 3 squares a day and buying anything she wants within reason and within your standard of living, is going to be happy if her family are living in abstract poverty, in fact the reverse is often seen, in that there are those who would say, she is having a bad life, over their in the UK

So how can you avoid them from saying this, and how can you have a successful and happy marriage with a Filiino wife ? its simply by following this advice and sticking to it - just adjust your thinking this way - For a Filipina leaving her home, to travel up to 6000 miles just start to realize one thing, her family are as important to her as is her marriage, and relationship with her husband, she cannot and will not be happy, unless they are taken care of, this may not amount to very much for a British guy, maybe a few thousand pesos per month in help, but it is everything to her.

How can this be achieved ?

Firstly if circumstances allow, and your wife wants to get employment to burden the cost of her family obligation, then fine, dont impede her, in fact help her to get a job, she will feel even better if she can earn the money to send for her family, that will make her even more prouder than ever before

For the husband this may at first seem like an obsession she has it is only when you understand that this custom of Sustento, has been around for an awful long time, and your wife or fiancee may have received schooling and had this paid for by parents or other elderly siblings, who have had to go through more or less the same, then you will start to understand why it might seem to be her obsession, the quicker you discuss and attend to it, the sooner it will be less of an obsession.

It has always seemed to be the general rule in Filipino households, that whoever has the chance of providing for the others, they must do it, there is no exception to this rule, it is accepted and expected.

There may be occasions, when a Filipino Tatay or Father, may be very against a marriage or relationship, if he thinks, that no provision is going to be made for the family, this is not to say, that Filipino families should be seen as Gold diggers, this is certainly not the case, although as I have always said, there are always exceptions to the rule, it is not a Filipino custom in decent families to ask for money directly, but it may be that the daughter is in fact the very one who is the main provider, if you decide to show up and ask the girl to marry you, you might be taking their lifeline away, naturally the family will be worried about any changes to their way of life.

Summary: It would be good for you to try to understand this very valuable information about the custom of Sustento, for one thing a British Husband, who attends to the needs of his extended family on behalf of his Filipina wife, is a husband who will be rewarded tenfold, and will have a very happy wife indeed, but much more importantly, your very happy wife is going to be a very attentive wife to you, and the rewards are much greater than the sacricfices that you are making financially to the support and upkeep of "YOUR" extended family, good luck and enjoy.

Have you taken a look at Boracay yet ?or have you checked out Thailand ? or fancy a day out to the Province of Bohol