Soon? If your friend has been waiting for months for the "proof", nakuuu RED FLAG! "He will sort everything out"? and no evidence? There are 2 things I can think of: 1. He could still be married and just tagging your friend along. 2. He could still be married but separated. Ongoing process. This one is a bit difficult to really know the real score with the guy. And only your friend and her fella can solve this one.
But is there a reason she doesn't trust him to be divorced? Demanding to see his papers seems a bit nazi to me! Have these people ever actually met? Is there any form of real relationship here? Maybe he doesn't realise it's such a big deal. For an English person, getting into a relationship with someone who is separated but not divorced is a pretty common thing.
A lot of ifs and buts here. Before I married my Mrs, I'd lost my (final) divorce papers during a house move years before, so it would have been difficult to produce them. I eventually ordered a copy before we got married in the Phils. Of course, one does have to remember that adultery (unlike in the UK) is actually still illegal in the Philippines, so perhaps this is where some of the sensitivity/confusion arises from the Filipina's viewpoint ? In fairness, there area lot of foreigners being scammed by sweet little Filipinas every day too.
Yeah they've met already and as far as I know they are engaged. My friend just wants proof of course he asked her to marry him, I don't think that's bad.
What do you mean unlike in the UK? So it's legal there to commit adultery? I'm sorry didn't quite get that.
You're right! I've told my friend that maybe he's still married but separated and they haven't filed for a divorce yet or it's ongoing. But the bottom line is, he kept lying to her.
Committing adultery is grounds for divorce in UK but it is not illegal in so far as it is not a criminal offence.
My natural reaction is to side with the "if there is no trust, there is no future" type of replies here. However, in this situation where the 2 people don't really know each other that well and there are many cultural differences coming into play, I think that your friend is justified in asking to see some evidence of his marital status, especially as he has been so reluctant up until now to show her anything. How to do that without causing a major conflict is the tricky part. Can she not tell him that in order to process some part of the visa/CFO paperwork, she is required to show evidence of his divorce? If he doesn't play ball then, I would be very suspicious of him and probably bail out.
It just seems a bit of a weird thing to ask in my opinion. This is someone she feels ready to marry but doubts his word. Maybe he feels the same? Why would he ask her to marry him? And what would be so wrong to do that anyway if he is getting divorced? I wasn't divorced when I started seeing my current wife. We were happy when my divorce came through and I doubt it even occured to her to demand proof! If she doubts his word then why is she with him?
"In fairness, there area lot of foreigners being scammed by sweet little Filipinas every day too." we seem to get a lot of cases on here where UK guys get involved with Filipinas who are still married. i was one of them. how many such guys know anything about Philippines " no divorce"--and the expensive long winded alternative ? how far into these relationships do the fili girls go before they come clean about it ?
Doesn't this lend more weight to the idea that some evidence of being divorced and free to marry, should be asked for. From both sides of the table.
I agree that it should be discussed at the very start before anything else. In the end, you can only advice your friend. She would have to make the decision and act on it. Sometimes its easier said since we are all third party and our feelings are not involved.
