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Really Sick & Tasteless Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Humour' started by Bootsonground, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Well-Known Member

    Bloke approaches Paddy and says: Paddy will you take part in a race for charity...

    Paddy: I'm not as fit as I was I can't be arsed
    Bloke: Oh go on paddy its for spastics and blind kids
    Paddy: Oh **** it go on then, I could win that one
  2. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Well-Known Member

    A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.

    The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."

    The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his scratchings in your neck."
  3. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Glad i did it Trusted Member

    [​IMG]
    • Funny Funny x 2
  4. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Glad i did it Trusted Member

    [​IMG]
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. Drunken Max
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    Drunken Max Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Took me a while that one
  6. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    plumber.jpg
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    car toilet.jpg
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  8. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

  9. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Glad i did it Trusted Member

    Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

    The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

    Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

    Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

    Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

    The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

    Jack took the money.
    • Funny Funny x 1
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  10. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    47146730_2181477278737053_5595255768552046592_n.jpg
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  11. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

  12. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    post-24937-0-20044800-1544437694_thumb.jpg
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  13. John Surrey
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    John Surrey Active Member

    upload_2018-12-11_22-10-0.png
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  14. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

  15. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    post-2914-0-87461600-1544448395_thumb.jpg
    • Funny Funny x 3
  16. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Glad i did it Trusted Member

    [​IMG]
    • Funny Funny x 2
  17. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

  18. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    i wonder how many couples do still live together for years, hating the sight of each other.
  19. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

  20. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Well-Known Member

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