Hiya you are right and thanks, as always the story is A little bit deeper and just didn’t want to go into it but, it’s not 10 grand more like 20 as her son is a challenge also and no visit without him which is correct. On top of all this and it was really difficult to get this information out of her is debt Her father died as her son was born ,as she was the only one in proper employment all his medical bills funeral and providing for the family fell on her, she had a cesarean which meant she couldn’t work for 4 months so a nightmare for her. She has not asked for any help but I had to insist on the information to even consider contact, no point building anything to be destroyed later I was fully upfront and needed the same, it would have been easy to end it there but I chose not to. I was shocked at the extent of borrowing and couldn’t believe lending on such a limited income would have been allowed The total is around 23 K dollars over 3 loans and a credit card Hence my hesitation over Processing Visas etc it could easily be 40 K I was not aware that her son would double the costs and the NHS payments yet understandable I though private medical insurence would have covered it. Anyway hope you can see why I have had to rethink and go slowly by meeting with no long term promise from New year She knows this now and we will meet for the holiday She will get help but limited for the moment Of a Salary net of 25 K she lives on 5 K and in a credit trap Easy to say in desperation she is wanting me but I made all the moves not her with full knowledge of her situation. Hope this is more clear I know I am opening the gates for critics on my decision The holiday would normally be 5 K without going to the Philippines as I live well in good hotels The balance will be on her holiday and a few treats over Christmas All within budget Final decisions will be made back in the Uk
I know the red flags at least, I will go into it fully aware of the situation and decide when home mid December The budget will not be of concern it will purely be an assessment not emotions running away. She could be a gem on hard time or not I do trust my judgement Is she worth the hassle when a lady with no kids no debt and equally as nice could be available ? I even was approached by girls in the UK so no Visa problems ,probably nurses There is other options if I decide move on . Thanks for your advice as probably what I would advise others. If the crap outweighs the benefits move on I do get that but that’s not really the point as real people are involved so we will see Appreciated Kevin
Red Flag after Red Flag, plenty other fish in the sea but despite everything your still going, I hope she is worth it.. Hopefully she can get the time off work in November, good luck I have the feeling your going to need it.
You can't put a price on love, if your attracted to someone and she is the one you can't place a value on feelings, visit, see how it feels, then decide to run with the ball or walk off the pitch,
Thanks and expected and noted yes I could be Russian all the red flags. Her sister is qualified as a teacher but has no job as they have to wait for a vacancy The way it works is an out of the system agreement where she pays the sister and maintains here salary and it is a local agreement all this is in hand Just no dates agreed until the end of the month as I have other matters to deal with. I think also being retired and last job was in Iraq The issues all seem minor after 5 years nursing my wife until she passed and getting I’ll myself thankfully fully recovered. It’s been crap to be honest. I did Thailand for 3 weeks last year touring on a motor bike so I know Asia is for me but not to live. I am just at the crossroads as looking to the future, this may be a journey too far, I am willing to try as 80% of the Journey to Thailand would be happening whatever. If I am not happy with the meet and the way my ticketing will be I can go back to Bkk and Have 3 weeks there The internal tickets in the Philippines are around 500 pound for three Masbate-Cebu-Masbate Then my flights back. I have costed everything including hotels with breakfast, and a healthy budget for the time in Cebu Thanks for everything and I have no idea how it will end but caution at every stage.regarding commitment. In fact I want them to have a great holiday without long term being involved I have told her this today and she has agreed, we do however know what a woman's mind is like. Thanks to everybody on the site it’s been more help than you know. Kevin
Hi again Kevin, You are not long out of a marriage with your wife who sadly passed away. You are vulnerable to be taken to the cleaners by a Filipina. You must have a clear exit strategy and stick to it. We have been on this forum for years and your situation is very scary and there isn't a win-win outcome that we can see. Be very careful, mate and don't take too much money with you.
Thanks very much coming home after the holiday is the exit, I will know for sure and nothing over budget will be promised or spent. Easy enough to block what’s app I can judge it after all this great advice from you guys, I am always clear headed as don’t really drink, finances are good and will not be compromised in any way. The money it will cost after my own expenses will be within this budget and be put down to life experience after the holiday I still have a few weeks to think about it more if need be but more than likely will proceed Thanks everyone I think I would give the same advice at the moment. I will come back with an update
We are always here, Kevin, and we only want to help people who may need help. Lots of us have been to the Philippines many times and we know how things work there. When I was single and travelling alone in the Philippines, I used to spend quite a few days and nights when I arrived watching everything from a distance. Pretty faces and figures can easily separate a man from his money even experienced travellers fall prey to one of many scams there, in fact more than you can shake a stick at. One member told us he was in love and was horrified when the lady he was in love with met him on his arrival and spoke with a man's voice. Don't underestimate the craftiness of people who need money. They will tell men everything they know to soften them up before fleecing them. You've got to have your wits about you all the time. Us Brits are in their country and if you understand the lay of the land you should be ok. If you get time, go into one of the many internet cafe's and see local people using pc's and see multiple chats where the only goal is to part lonely men from their money. Not asking for money at first is not a guarantee that they are honest. They need money far more than we will ever know and kind-hearted empathetic men like yourself can be easy pickings. I am not saying all Filipinas are bad but it is best to be cautious for quite a while.
Thank you so much, I will be very cautious and very aware of deep voices Adam’s apple big hand and taller than norm,I did have a chuckle at that. It’s a serious matter for me I assure you and have a few weeks to finally decide. Couldn’t be better advice thank you all
