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Do relationships with Filipinas work?

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by CatchFriday, Jan 20, 2019.

?

How successful are marriages to Filipinas?

  1. After 1st year

    20.0%
  2. After 5th year

    20.0%
  3. After ten years

    40.0%
  4. After twenty years

    40.0%
  5. Ended in divorce

    20.0%
  6. Ended in Separation

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday Member

    I just wondered for feedback on this question? Do they work for Filipinas who come to the UK for example, or do they work better for foreign spouses who enter the Philippines?
  2. oss
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    oss Not Here Staff Member

    Your poll does not ask the question in your post.

    I suspect that relationships anywhere succeed or fail for the same fundamental reasons.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    'Cultural' differences/misunderstandings are likely to be the biggest regular bugbear, whether residing in the UK together, or the Philippines.

    Those Filipinos coming to the UK will more than likely want to send money back home to their families... another likely cause of conflict.

    If you bring a young, attractive wife to the UK, also be prepared for the attention she will receive from other males... until she gets fat, which many do when they've been in the UK for a while... sorry to say.

    As far as separation and divorce rates go... probably about the same as the (terrible) figures for most marriages these days ?
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. Jim
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    Jim Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    been married for sixteen years, got married in the UK, We lived in the UK for 12 years together then she got homesick. so she went back to Ph. My wife stayed slim in the UK, BTY :)
    • Like Like x 3
  5. joi1991
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    joi1991 Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    With the right person., it would work fine. :)
    • Agree Agree x 3
  6. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    Keep your pants zipped up. Don't let the eyes wander. With Filipinas even if you have steak on your plate it is ill advised to look at the menu if you catch my drift....
    And you need a steady stream of handbags and shoes... Plus the odd ring, necklace, Pandora shiny junk. 9k doesn't do it.. It has to be at least 18carats..
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday Member

    I started talking to her through Filipino Cupid in October 2016, and went to seeing in December 2016 spending time with her till January 2017. She had children - we communicated all the time. She was married with 3 children - her husband was not interested in her or her children. I supported the family monthly. She came over in April 2017 staying in the UK with me till August 10 2017. We traveled too to Jerusalem. I visited her in December 2017 to January 2018. I have a lot of help and she passed her ILETS 7 on the third time. I put a lot of pressure on to my local hospital and she was interviewed in March 2017 by Skype and finally she arrived here in November 2018. She suggested she should stay in the hospital but I suggested it would be better with me.

    My business partner met her and she told him that we were going to try to have a relationship together. I had told him that we were in a relationship, but what I said was not what she thought.

    We got on reasonably well but there were cracks.

    I had it all a three bedroom house a cat and a dog -just right for a family.

    It became evident that what she wanted was not the same as what I wanted. I wanted love, appreciation and communication and she was a determined woman she wanted a future for her children. I could give all these, but I found her self-absorbed, with no time for me. She even said that when the children came that the two oldest 17 (boy) and 15 (girl) would not want a relationship with me, and the youngest daughter 7 would not be close to me.

    She told me that my friends were rubbish. I should have more Christian friends.

    I am a protestant and so was she and we went to the same church albeit in different countries - I though Christ is what unites us.

    She is moving out today - how on earth could I have got it so wrong?
    • Informative Informative x 1
  8. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Sounds like you've been used mate. Lucky escape.
  9. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    Sorry to read this Larry you seem to of put a lot of work in to get her here. I take it the hospital has sponsored her, also if you used your address for the applications you need to advise UKBA of change of circumstances.
    You are best rid of any involvement with her
    Good Luck
  10. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you've saved yourself a world of pain... just in time.

    We all make these errors of judgement. I like to say "I'm only nearly perfect". ;)

    Don't give up on an entire nation, but I would urge you to go for a young, single lady next time.

    (Ideally... an orphan ! :D )

    I was a step-parent, for 15 years... single Filipina mum though, when I met her. The father of the kids was killed anyway, soon after our relationship started. Challenging, but ultimately rewarding and 'successful'.
    The two children were very young when I took them on though, and mum shared her affections out pretty fairly.
    Although their mother and I divorced in 2006, they remain in contact with me, and still refer to me as 'dad'. :)

    Good luck to you anyway. Keep us posted, eh. :like:
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Heathen
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    Heathen Active Member

    She is moving out today - how on earth could I have got it so wrong?

    Sorry that it hasnt worked out for you mate, but dont let it cloud your judgement for future relationships..
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. HaloHalo
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    HaloHalo Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Sorry to hear your news.

    Sometimes we only really learn who a person is once we live with them. So those of us who embarked on an internet relationship and brought our partners to the UK possible are taking a genuine gamble. We can only go off our own instincts and hope we have read the person well and/or how potentially deceptive they are.

    Nothing is ever guaranteed in life no matter how hard we try.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday Member

    I understand that when I gave money to her in the Philippines for her to live on with her family - for her and kids to educate, for her to live a normal life with computers, I had the mistaken belief that we were in a relationship, where in point of fact I was just being milked. I put in around £400 to £500 a month in the first year, and in the second year I put in up to £800 a month as the eldest was going to a better school.

    When the woman came here she was not aware that we were in a relationship, and said to my friend we will try, and as you chaps have suggested I am fortunate to be free.

    I was in touch with her sister, who I mistakenly thought was supportive: "Resolve it by yourselves. If you really are a Christian, as you are claiming, you should have a broad understanding and at least be sensitive towards the people around you. You are acting like "a spoiled brat".

    Let's face it we are the gravy train!

    I am 65 and she was 40 - so they wait for a foreigner to come round and this is their ticket to a more comfortable life isn't it?
    • Agree Agree x 2
  14. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday Member

    I met a Filipino nurse in 1998 and we later married, there was 3 years difference in the relationship, 6 months of sex everyday it was good, but then I made the mistake of allowing her sister to live with us and sex stopped. Motto never share a home with another family member. That wife died from cancer in 2012. I lost heavily on a POEA agency I invested in, that another family member owned.

    Next family member (same family) took more me for around £90k another narcissist. Age gap 30 years.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  15. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    Sorry if I am kind of blunt but it seems to me that you are either too soft, kind and generous to a fault or totally gullible.
    Not a very good judge of characters...
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. HaloHalo
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    HaloHalo Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I agree and there does seem to be a theme here. Again I’m not try to be disrespectful here, indeed anyone who hasn’t been burnt in a relationship hasn’t really lived.

    I decided that it would only happen once to me. It happened twice :eek:.

    Things happen, things change.
    • Like Like x 1
  17. bigmac
    Online

    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    i'm genuinely sorry youve had these bad experiences. its only natural to want to help out your future partner in life--i did--but nowhere near £800 a month! thats more than lots of families bring in from their labours. i bet that paid for a good few moblie phones and dining out. what did she do for a living before you came along ?
  18. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday Member

    I guess that my reasoning maybe to some flawed, I made decisions based on faith more than reason. This is social media and I do not want to expose her too much. I made the decision to support her to spend time with her kids, rather than go to the Middle East to work. I guess I put too much faith into it, and I’m reeling from the disappointment. I have friends around me and I saw my counsellor today.

    Although I raised my voice at the weekend frustrated that she was so self absorbed in an exam she has to take, I wanted some communication and she would not engage with me, to the point that when she raised her voice at me it effected my mental health and I had to say it was better that she stayed at her workplace.

    She is nurse.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  19. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    Sad to say, scamming and milking of us 'millionaire' foreigners is becoming a hobby for many Filipinos who inhabit the many social media and dating sites nowadays.
    Any of us can potentially get sucked in to variable degrees, when seeking love and affection.

    Proceed with even more caution, is all that one can do. (Also become acquainted with average living costs in the Philippines, would be my advice) . Most Filipino families are probably living on p10,000 a month or less !

    Let us also not forget the 1,000s of British men who every year are kicked to the kerb and subsequently financially 'raped' by that 'sweet' local lady they married a few years ago. :rolleyes:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. oss
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    oss Not Here Staff Member

    Larry, all I can say is I am sorry to hear what happened to you.
    • Like Like x 1

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