I was stumbling through the woods totally drunk when I come upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. I walk into the water and subsequently bump into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks me, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" “Yes I am” I replied so the preacher grabs me and dunks me in the river. He pulls me up and asks , “Brother have you found Jesus?" I replies, "No, I haven't." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks me into the water again, But for a bit longer this time. He pulls me out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?" again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus." By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the me in the water again, but this time he Holds me down for about 30 seconds. When I began kicking my arms and legs, the preacher pulls me up. The preacher asks again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" I wipe my eyes and catch my breath and say to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?" 77