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Dating a separated married pinay

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by chrism, Jan 22, 2018.

  1. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    Advice needed
    Im dating a 26 year old pinay who is still legally married.she was married at the age of 20 and the husband was 21 and there is a son born before the marriage.The marriage lasted 6 months then he met another girl and left and is still with that pinay and they have 2 kids and his name is on the birth certs.Since he left he has had no contact with with his son or his ex wife even they live in the same area. I was ok with this situation until a British guy i met in phils told me i could be arrested for sleeping with a married woman if the husband complains to the police or more likely he threatens to do this if i dont pay!!!!! Ive had a lot of different opinions about this situation but i would like to hear if anyone has been in this situation and has any advice. Ive told my gf to go to a lawyer and get accurate advice about this.
  2. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    sounds about right.

    as you probably know--divorce doesnt exist in the Philippines--only annulment--which can take 18 to 36 months and cost £2 -3000....and guess who will have to pay that.

    strange how we come across loads of situations like this.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    The guy in Phils who advised you did you a real favour, heed his warning because he is right.

    Be very wary of meeting her at her place indeed her area if you visit because the ex may very well now know of your existance.

    If they havent had an annulment then you do have slight handle because he would be commiting bigamy though that will probably disappear out the window if they can screw johnny foreigner for money.
  4. DJB
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    DJB Active Member

    I was in exactly the same situation and yes you have been given the correct advice. You need to be very very carefull. If your going to stay somewhere with her make sure you are very discreet preferably in another area.
  5. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    I forgot to mention last week i met her her brother in law who lives next door and he is a policeman lol. Living life on the edge omg
  6. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    ive heard the going rate for a husband to agree to an annulment is a million peso.
  7. DJB
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    DJB Active Member

    I got all sorts of threats from her husband at first, but Kris has a big family and her brothers would rip his head off his shoulders and **** down his throat if ever they got hold off him. So that threat kind off calmed him down somewhat :D

    In the end I am told he was quite happy about the annulment as he had found someone new and was looking to remarry.
  8. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    hmmmm im thinking along those lines also.her ex has no real money and i do so we can threaten take him to court for adultery as he has 2 kids with another woman and he has no money for a lawyer and he also he knows her brother in law is a copper and doesn't like him. im hearing that there is a new law regarding annulment being easier now if the couple have been separated over 5 years and i was also told that if they were 21 or under when married its simpler but i didnt know about any of these complications till last week when im in Cebu?I had an idea he might be entitled to half of anything she owns like here but these laws are new to me.
  9. Maley
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    Maley Well-Known Member

    Philippines is mostly catholic country with the church having too much influence on a lot of political issues. Around 3 yrs ago the church humiliated anyone who supports the reproductive health bill (portion of it includes provision for access to contraceptives). Its an issue which is supposed to be common sense.

    Im not sure how or when PH would go
    ahead and change the law. No one is brave enough to do it when majority of the lawmakers are separated/annuled as well.

    Thread carefully
  10. oss
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    oss Somewhere Staff Member

    Please be careful, the idea of threatening a Filipino that you will take him to court could result in violence, Filipino's look like the most gentle happy people until they are threatened, loss of face or any slight could result in irrational levels of retaliation.

    Now you are certainly correct that your partner could take him to court and whether or not he has the money to defend himself is not too important, I suspect that he could legally report you and your partner too and I would not be surprised if all four of you end up in jail, him and his new partner and you and your partner.

    But whatever you do never directly insult or threaten a Filipino man or woman as you are playing with fire, you would need to find a roundabout way of making the point that all of you were equally at risk from the adultery law.
  11. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    have you got a return flight ticket ?
  12. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    Yes I’m back in the uk now
  13. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    Thanks that sounds like good advice
  14. chrism
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    chrism New Member

    I lived in southern Irland for a few years which is a Catholic country and Divorce and contraception are permitted there now. I don’t understand why the same faith has different rules depending on where you live?
  15. DJB
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    DJB Active Member

    Chris, if your serious about her all is not lost, time and money will be needed, there is a lot off us on here that can offer advice and annulment Lawyers.
  16. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member


    Control of the masses.............

    You have to understand that Filipinos are very superstitious and easily influenced by religious mumbo-jumbo.
    So if your parish priest says that it is a sin to put a piece of rubber between yourself and life, then you go bare back, with all it entails.

    Pill and IUD's are available, but the church condemns their use, so not a lot of women do take advantage.

    Ireland, is more emancipated in every way possible.
    pity they still drag their feet on abortion, tho...
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2020
    • Agree Agree x 1
  17. David of Mersea
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    David of Mersea New Member

    Does this apply the other way round? I have been separated from my English wife for 17 years, and I am sleeping with a Filipino widow. If we go to the Phils and see her family, am I likely to be in trouble?
  18. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    You will be in trouble with your girlfriend if you drag your feet in divorcing your ex...
    "Trouble" is an understatement..

    Terminal "Tampo" is not be taken lightly
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. oss
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    oss Somewhere Staff Member

    The law applies to Filipino citizens they can't apply a Philippine law to a UK married couple separated or divorced, if your Filipino partner had a living spouse it would apply.

    What they will know is that you are not free to marry your Filipina partner if you are not divorced, cultural approval might not be extended but legal approval to be in an unmarried relationship is not required.
  20. David of Mersea
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    David of Mersea New Member

    I had not heard of Tampo, so I looked it up. It seems to me it is nothing more than a GF/Wife sulking and acting like a spoiled child that cannot get their own way.

    To have good relationship we much discuss, share and perhaps compromise. If we give in every time our GF/Wife sulks, we will soon be under the thumb, and whilst they get their own way, they will lose respect for us. Respect gives security, and if the GF/Wife knows that she can control you with her sulking, she will know that you can be bullied by others, like the neighbours, the boss, traders, etc
    • Agree Agree x 1

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