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Confused. Need some advice.

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by Miims, Apr 29, 2018.

  1. bigmac
    Online

    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    ha ha--ive been called many things--but never cute. unless thats a typing error.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    Congratulations! I'm glad he asked you to leave him alone from now on. He doesnt deserve you! A real man who truly loves you won't give up that easily! Applying for visa here and settling isn't easy. There are still many things you have to do and overcome (wedding, visa depends if fiance then spouse or spouse already, starting your career here, then another visa after 2.5yrs, then ILR, then citizenship if you want). If he can't even support you in one, then your life will be living hell. They are all correct. Most british guys here treat their pinay wives/gf's better than that.

    Love yourself more and know your worth.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. OTT
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    OTT Active Member

    Haha , yes I know , but it's good that you can laugh .
    It seems like everyone here is on your side and looking out for you . Not a nice thing to accept , and move on from but I hope you can deal with it all without too much regret and sadness .

    It would be nice for you to be posting some nice and positive news here sometime soon . Good luck .
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  4. Miims
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    Miims Member

    Yeah, youre right. The only con is again, waiting for the right guy to come along.
    I guess my job is my only true love. Lol thank you all for your time and comments. Really appreciate it. <3
  5. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    Lol. Don't lose hope. I met my hubby online when I was 30. Then get married 31. I'll be 32 this year. Planning to have a baby before 35.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Miims
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    Miims Member

    Lucky you! x
  7. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    Yeah lucky and blessed :) so loving and very supportive man i've got here :)

    You'll have yours when you're ready :)
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Maley
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    Maley Well-Known Member

    You are an independent and bright woman and if any guy wants you to give it up for him, make sure he treats you like a queen.

    Its not the money that is the most important. Yes he can be younger than you and might be earning lower than you but if he loved you and showed it to you by making you feel better etc, then for now its okay. Electrician do get better salary later on. But its how he treated you when you were here- as they say it is supposed to be best foot forward. If that is the best one, then imagine what is the worst.

    Dont give up everything for this guy and settle for something less. Someone better will come your way - someone who deserve you more.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Maley
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    Maley Well-Known Member

    I dont inderstand where he gets that idea.

    Im 35 yrs old now - met my now husband when i was 32 and only got married last year. We dont have any plans of having any kid this year. Two of his best frends just got married few years ago and just started thinking about kids their wives are both aged 38. So im considered young!
  10. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    This post confuses me, Miims.....
    Sorry but it seems like your relationship is based more on money than on love.
    You mentioned that he doesn't have his own house but that is not a requirement for a settlement visa after marriage.
    He could live in a rented house and produce a rental contract. If you were to marry and apply for a settlement visa, his earnings would be the most important thing but it seems as an electrician he will be able to satisfy the financial requirements.
    Do you love him?
    Does he love you?
    Love conquers all but you seem to be having too many doubts.
  11. thingymejig2
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    thingymejig2 Active Member

    Hi Miims,

    Why are you with him still? Do you feel like you need to see it through, or that you owe it to yourself to give it more time or effort because of the time you've already invested?

    He sounds very selfish in my opinion. Someone who isn't prepared to commit his own finances to your relationship. Or generally doesn't like to spend his own money. I've met plenty of people like this before. Yeah okay, he paid for a flight to see you, but he's also benefiting from a holiday or a break (with free accommodation!), so he could still view this expenditure selfishly.

    From what I gather from your posts, you are an absolute gem, and he's the wrong match for you. He needed to find someone with no assets or ties. And you need to find someone who is much more willing to accept, appreciate and respect your situation. To make you feel so sad and guilty so often... he's bad news.

    And the fact he's taken the ring back? There's obviously more to the story there, but on face value, that really says it all. You will find someone better, and you deserve someone better.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Drunken Max
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    Drunken Max Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    A man needs to woo his partner. Romance is not just for courtship, its forever.
  13. AM2018
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    AM2018 Member

  14. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Miims understandably wrote about her side of the situation.
    Perhaps he may have fallen for her and was really frustrated that she wasn't committing to the relationship.
    He will know that he will not be able to earn a living in the Philippines so the onus would be on her to move to the UK.

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