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Is this filipino guy genuine?

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by Keither, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. Keither
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    Keither Member

    Hello all
    I'm a 51 year old gay man

    Over the past few months I've been looking for a filipino boyfriend on dating sites such as filipino cupid.Unfortunately, 95% of the guys ask for money and I'm finding it hard to distinguish the genuinely needy who are interested in me from sophisticated scammers.
    One particular guy I've gotten very close to since January I helped after the flooding in northern Surigao.Then he says he hasn't got enough money for a load snd I sent him money for that.Now his elderly father lost his job as caretaker of some land.He is now saying he is hungry and needs food.I looked online at a website called Rapper and it says there is a social safety net where the indigent can get free food and medicine. I also suggested he ask the local catholic priest for help.Here in the UK vicars usually have food parcels they can give to the poor.He says there isn't a priest in rhe village church (although mass is celebrated by the 'village elders' on Sunday).
    He professes deep love for me and we have seen each other and talked on webcam for monrhs-he seems genuine and gets bey emotional and intense. But coukd he just be acting?
    -could anyone shed light on this for me?-I'm genuinely unsure,but nearly every gay pinoy asks for money.
  2. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Rule #1 of online dating: Never send money to someone you have not met in person
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. Keither
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    Keither Member

    Yes that's the same advice as on meet pinoys.com. The trouble is almost all of the filipinos ask for money!!-maybe there are more genuine sites where I can find a filipino who is self-sufficient?
  4. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    why do you want a filipino in particular ?
  5. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    You are stuck in between a rock and a hard place, but I agree you should never send money to a person you have never met, this guy will just continue to pull at your heart strings and your purse strings, that said you clearly feel for the guy.
    You could test the waters send a small amount and see what happens next, and ask for a receipt guage his reaction

    If it was me I would look elsewhere
  6. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Dare I say, you haven’t met the right one then yet!
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. jasmine16
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    jasmine16 Member

    Sorry to say but he is not genuine for me. The thing is, if he really love you he would be careful on what he ask from you, especially money. He wouldn't take that risk for you to feel doubtful over him. He could just ask only for moral and emotional support during this hard time.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. Maley
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    Maley Well-Known Member

    Follow the advice of others- dont send anything to anyone especially if you havent met them personally.

    Why dont you start saying ‘no’ and see how it goes? The sad thing about human being in general is that once you start saying yes to small things, they will start asking for something slightly bigger or higher than the previous one. Once you start saying no, you would see the real them.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. Keither
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    Keither Member

    I'm looking for a filipino because many people have told me,and I've read consistently online,that filipinos are warm,hospitable and caring.I've seen articles saying that filipino gay men,if they love you will stick with you and most of all-they want permanent love,not flings.
    Also,there isn't the ageism prevalent in te western gay world,where you are often considered 'over the hill' at 35.Age is respected and valued in the Philippines.
    Basically they seem to have the emotional warmth and devotion that British men.lack on the whole.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Keither
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    Keither Member

    Th
  11. Keither
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    Keither Member

    The trouble is thst 9 out of every 10 filipino gay men seem to beg for money online.
    This one,Jerome-seemed to be very genuine unless he's manufacturing tears and has the acting abilities of an Olivier.
    But I know the emotional blackmail is now obvious-one of his comments was 'you are eating there whilst I am.hungry'
    I will say no,and recognise the guilt trips for what they are:-manipulation not need.
  12. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Yep. Keep looking. There’s a genuine guy there waiting to meet you. Are you going to visit if you find the one?
  13. Keither
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    Keither Member

    Yes I was going to visit but finances prevented ot.What I'm wondering is,arent there any available filipinos here in the UK?
  14. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    Please don't generalize. I have many gay friends and they are professionals. Maybe those in the dating sites are scammers, well not all.
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  15. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Understood. If you do find someone then you are probably going to have to visit at some point if you want the relationship to progress. Anyhow early days yet. I cant comment if there are any single gay filipino guys here in the UK.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Keither
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    Keither Member

    Yes I thought someone woukd accuse me of that-actually an unfair accusation, as I am.only reporting my own experience where 90% of them have asked me for money.I'm sure others have had similar experiences?
    If there are self sufficient professional pinoys,does anyone have any idea which dating sites I will find them on?
  17. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Hi Keither,
    I am presume you haven't visited the Philippines?
    If you did, you would be very surprised if you looked into an internet cafe.
    There are so many men sitting in front of monitors with many chat windows open.
    They are imitating women and most probably imitating gay men too.
    They will stop at nothing in their quest to fleece the pockets of foreigners.
    Take your time to find someone who will be genuine, someone who wants to get to know you for the right reasons and do NOT send money until you have met the person face-to-face.
    Don't feel bad by ignoring scammers, after all you are looking for someone special and it is worth the wait.
  18. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    This is why many of us here have met and married someone with a big heart from the Philippines.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  19. menchu_edge
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    menchu_edge Active Member

    I don't know any dating sites where u can find professional gays. I'll try to ask some of my gay friends and will let you know.

    I met my hubby thru Filipino Cupid and I am a self-sufficient professional.
  20. OTT
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    OTT Active Member

    Keither , I understand your problem with the dating sites , and being asked for money.
    The men who are asking, have already realised , that you are probably a kind and caring person , who is vulnerable to a hard luck story whether genuine or not .

    I'm sorry I can't advise you where to find a genuine guy, but if finance issues are preventing you from going to the Philippines ,and meeting someone in real , maybe it's best not to get involved with a Filipino who is living there .

    Take the advice of people with experience , who have advised you .
    NEVER send to someone that you have never met or got to know well in person .
    It will save you a lot of heartache and money .
    • Agree Agree x 2

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