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Filipino Wedding Customs - For the British-Filipino couple.


Here we take a light-hearted look at the traditional Filipino wedding !, many of you will want to know much more about it, whilst there are some websites dedicated to this subject, I am basing this page on my own experiences in the Philippines and much of it is centered on my own wedding so this should be fun, what we will try to do is have a little laugh along the way as well, so happy reading !

Many interested readers will be pondering their options at this point ? to be or not to be that is the question ? many enagaged couples will be thinking of the following two questions:

1. Should we arrange a wedding in the UK ? ( this means you wont have to wait until the wedding in the Philippines has taken place, and then apply for a spouse visa, which generally takes longer).

2. Should you decide to have a traditional wedding in the Philippines (in other words, a reception, fancy dresses, an exchange of vows in front of visitors, dancing, etc.), you’ll want to plan ahead for the expense. While it’s tradition in the U.K. for the parents of the bride to pay for the wedding, in the Philippines, it’s very likely to be the British man who’ll be footing the bill. That’s you Bobo as if you had not guessed !

So, what should you budget for, and how much? You’d do well to ask your fiancée what she’d like before planning anything. She might want a simple wedding instead of an extravagant one. Then again, she might want rose petals and gold coins to litter the pews. Who knows? Ask her. Then ask her if she knows a Filipino wedding planner, or at least someone who has helped put a Filipino wedding together before, ask her about an MCEE, an MCEE can make your wedding so much fun, and not expensive either.

Before you start thinking seriously about it, here’s something to get you started, though. From my chats with other couples in the UK and including my own experiences, a typical Filipino Wedding can set you back anything from £1500.00 to £5,000 depending on the level of extravagance. whatever you pay, it will be money well spent, as you will be getting such a good deal as comparable weddings in the UK will cost you 5 to 10 times more

Here are some items you might be expected to pay for:

1. Reception dinner facility rental (restaurant, community hall, etc. hotel private function room.)

2. Reception dinner and drinks

3. Transportation to and from reception (Limousines - Flights - Seacat or other transport for relatives).

4. Reception gifts

5. Reception band, singer, or DJ and MCEE

6. Church rental (or Community Hall rental) for wedding or hotel banqueting hall

7. Transportation for everyone else to the wedding

8. Flowers and decorations and swag

9. Band and/or Singer or other entertainment.

10. Wedding gown (custom made costs more than off-the-rack)

11. Bridesmaid dresses (custom made costs more than rental)

12. New clothes for bride’s mother (dress) and father (barong)

13. Photography, wedding album, video editing package, extra photos for family, and the extended family Mag-anak

14. Wedding Cake

15. Lechon ( A Large roasted leathery Pig - which is pretty much guaranteed to be on your list, probably 2 of them, to feed a rather large gathering)

16.The wedding bands and the Engagement ring.

17. The wedding accomodadtion for you, your bride, the brides family, any guests that arrive from UK, any other guests.



Filipino Wedding Traditions

Preparation

Traditionally the dalangang Filipina who is to be engaged will want to have a grand wedding if funds allow, things have to be perfect and exact, do not try to rush the bride to be, into choosing impetuously, a perfect wedding is her lifetime hearts desire, this will involve lots of preperation, a Filipino Wedding is a very grand affair, this will involve as many as 200 guests or more at the wedding, although some weddings can be much smaller, from say 100 guests.

It is almost likely that the 'Kasal' or wedding, will be planned some 3-4 months before the occasion, taking into consideration all the above items, invitations will need to be sent out, venues organized, visiting of the Principal sponsors to the wedding, the principal sponsors have a much greater role in Filipino Weddings such as giving advice to the couple, and not just witnessing the wedding, there are also secondary sponsors who can have active roles within the marriage ceremony itself, so there is much work to be done when arranging a Filipino Wedding.

The first thing to do is to organize the legal paperwork that is required to get married in the Philippines there is little point in organizing the wedding arrangements without first ensuring that the paperwork is ready, most of this should be done before arrival in the Philippines for the wedding, although some this is also done prior to the wedding, such as applying jointly for the marriage licence, the couple may not marry in the Philippines until 10 working days have elapsed and the marriage licence has been collected.

There are different arrangements for weddings in the Catholic Church, the Groom and Bride to be, will need to contact the Catholic Diocese in which the bride lives to confirm the procedures, in this case we are discussing a civil ceremony, presided over by a member of the Judiciary, this would normally be a circuit court Judge, who is licensed to officiate at civil weddings on behalf of the Philippine Government

On the top of the list is the Reception and wedding ceremony, a good place to arrange this would be at a local hotel, the hotel can provide a banqueting hall, which would act as the wedding ceremony hall, and then can be quickly converted after the ceremony has taken place, into a reception for the guests, the cost of this style of wedding is very good value, and from somewhere in the region of P40,000 to P75,000 a very good wedding package can be arranged, the Filipina bride to be can normally arrange this.

During the time that the couple are waiting for the marriage licence to be collected, this would be a good time to spend a few days going around town arranging things for the wedding such as:

  1. Ensuring that adequate transportation will be available to take the Brides family to and from the wedding, and any other guests.
  2. The Food tasting appointment (Many hotels will make an appointment with the couple to spend an hour in the hotel restaraunt, tasting a sample of the chosen menu, this is very important as you would want to ensure that the food is appropriate and well thought out for the guests.
  3. A trip to the Florists, to engage a florist and look at the colour themes for the Kasal, this could include the type of flowers, how they are to be arranged, the swag, which is a coloured decorative strips, as you would need to agree a theme for the wedding, the theme would be say, Orange and Cream as was in our wedding, this would be displayed on the invitations, the wedding hall, and the give-aways, which we will talk about later.
  4. A trip to the Give'away manufacturers, these are little momento's from the wedding, that would be given out to guests as a momento of your wedding, they are largley inexpensive and a thrill for the guests, who would treasure them.
  5. A trip to organize the entertainment for the guests, such as the music at wedding ceremony, for example, which tune would be played when the bride and her entourage enters the hall, the music for the guests arrival, the music througout the wedding, any other arrangements, such as the wedding co-ordinator, and most importantly, the MCEE (Master of Ceremonies), the MCEE is the main man at your wedding, the MCEE can keep a wedding going and provide the guests with entertainment, he can sing, can organize fun events, and generally control the programme, so that the bride and groom do not have to worry about such things.
  6. Also it would be a good time to order the lechon, the leathery type pig roasted on a spit, will be part of the wedding, and not to be missed, the guests will certainly expect to see it, it is an indispensable part of the wedding arrangements.
  7. Visits to the principal sponsors, it is customary for the couple to get on the road and visit the principal sponsors, by perhaps arranging to spend a hour or so getting to know them, this is important of course for the groom as he should meet the principal sponsors to thank them for providing this very valuable service.

  8. Visit to the Dressmaker for the Flipina bride to be ! organize the wedding gown, this may take several visits, or several last minute changes, or the wedding gown needs to be hired, this is also common, the bride might even decide to to change her mind at the last minute, and fall out of love with the wedding gown, the bridesmaids dresses need attending to, and any other dresses for the Tita's or the Ninangs, or other female relatives, (there are always lots of them !)
  9. This will also be a time for the bride to be arranging her 'Despedida desoltera' this is a party the bride may wish to have organized, it celebrates her giving up singleness for married life, this party sometimes happens prior to embarkation for the husbands host country.
  10. If the Groom is to dress traditionally, then he would wear the Barong Tagalog, this is a rather chic looking dress shirt, with pattern designs and motifs down the middle, the most expensive barongs are made out of pina', some can be made, others can be purchased off the shelf.
  11. Then there the couple would need to co-ordinate the arrangements with the reception/caterers/hotel events manager etc, most major hotels have excellent wedding packages, and have a wedding executive on call, they are very good at arranging everything from the Ice Carvings, the backdrop, the music, the tables, the type of food and how many courses, the cutlery, drinks, all kinds of things that tend to give the groom a headache.
  12. A visit to the Photographic studio is a must, this would be to have a initial photograph taken, for the guestboard, this is normally signed by all guests as a fair well message to the happy couple, and of course to choose the album cover, and number of photos, some couples also like to have videography as well, this would be a good time to make those arrangements.

The Bride in her Suite

The traditional Filipino wedding is normally booked for an 11am start, however before this happens, there is much busy activity taking place several hours ahead of this, the bride would normally arise around 6.30am, as she has many things to be getting on with, the make up artist, and the Hair dresser will arrive at the brides suite shortly after 7am, the bride would normally have freshened up, and be ready to have her hair attended to, her make up completed and her nails done, this normally takes about 1 to 1 and a half hours, (sadly at this stage, their is little for the Groom to do, other than get dressed and appear at the ceremonial hall, this is helpful if the wedding is in a hotel, as the groom can stay in his room, (or if sharing a room with the bride, make himself scarce - there is nothing for him to do).
If the Groom wishes to go down to the ceremonial hall, he can assist the wedding co-ordinator, keep a watchful eye on the florists, and other preparations that are being made.

At some stage the Groom will need to head back to the brides suite, as unlike in UK weddings, photography starts in the brides suite, one of the delightful things about a Filipino wedding is the attention to detail, in the brides suite, the photographers will want to arrange the brides dress, shoes, attire, veil if worn, and other things such as the cord, the rings, the ring cushion, the giveaways and a bible, in such way as can be nicely photographed, the bride will also, be photographed through various stages of her preparation, whilst this is happening, sometimes the brides family will show up at the brides suite, and yes there may be a lot of them, as in our case, the whole of the brides family descended on the room, this is not uncommon, and for most British grooms a little bit of a eye opener at first.

The bride will finally put on her wedding gown, and her hair decorations and or veil if worn, (some Filipinas prefer not to wear a veil) others do wear it, then photographs outside the brides suite, will be taken, also photos of the brides parents with the bride, and any photographs of the groom and his parents if in attendance, in our case, the groom had adoptive parents for the wedding, (it is much better to have adoptive stand in parents for the groom, then the groom does not feel alone at the wedding).

The Groom and his Entourage

30 minutes prior to the wedding ceremony about 10.30am, the Groom should be standing outside the banqueting hall with his own entourage, this could be the parents and relatives from UK or in our case the stand in parents, the Tito and Tita, (Uncle and Aunty), the Groom will then be listening for his entrance music to begin, the MCEE will then announce to the gathered guests at their tables, that the groom is to enter the hall, the groom flanked by his parents will then enter the hall, or if alone, with perhaps the brides brothers, or other relatives, the groom will then make his way to stand to the right of the officiating Judge, and await the brides entrance to the hallway.

The Bridal Entrance and her Entourage

Sometimes the Bride may wish to carry out the bridal procession on her own, or she may wish to enter with her Mother, or both parents if alive, this is customary to do so, she will want to make a grand entrance, to music of course, and make her way to stand to the left of the Honourable Judge who is officiating at the wedding, the MCEE again will ensure that the bride comes in on time, this should all happen prior to the 11am start, and timings would need to be adhered to as much as possible to keep up with the programme of events.

The Declaration of Intent

By this time the MCEE will announce that the honourable offical will take over the wedding from this point, and the Judge will ask the bride and groom each in turn the following:>

XXXX did you come here of your own free will to be married to xxxxx

The happy couple will then reply in the affirmative, and the wedding will proceed.

At this stage weddings can differ in their form, however it is likely that the Judge will ask the couple to sit in the chairs provided, at this time, the Judge may wish to ad-lib for about 15 minutes about the importance of the marriage commitment, some personal anecdotes about Filipino life, and in general, what is expected of the couple, giving them advance warnings about the prerssures they will face, and the need to be close to family, at the end of this, the couple will be asked to stand, and they will exchange the wedding vows, some couples write their own vows, and these are then said according to the programme.

The Declaration of the Marriage Bond

Once the above has been completed, the Honourable Judge will then publicly declare that the marriage bond has been declared, in this form: "By the Authority invested in me by the Republic of Philippines I now pronounce you as man and wife together" or words to this effect, it is at this time, that the groom may be invited to kiss the bride by the MCEE, the bride and groom will be invited to then sign the marriage contract, this is in triplicate of course, and lots of signatures are required, the bride will then sign the marriage contract

  1. The Bride and Groom with the Honourable Judge
  2. The Bride and Groom and the Parents
  3. The Bride and Groom and both sets of parents.
  4. The Bride and Groom and the Principal sponsors
  5. The Bride and her Family
  6. The Groom and His Family
  7. The Bride and her freinds and colleagues
  8. The Bride, Groom and all the Guests and family.

The Lighting of the Unity Candle

The Master of Ceremonies will invite the happy couple to approach the candle table, this would be a special table, with a large coloured candle, dressed in a small flower arrangement, the unity candle signifies a long lasting marriage, the couple would light it together, to symbolize the eternal flame that now burns, as 2 came in to the hall, 1 body has come out.

The Wedding Lunch or Dinner

At this time around 12.30pm to 1pm the MCEE will announce that the guests will be invited to have their lunch/dinner as appropriate, some hotels do excellent buffet lunches, or dinners, this gives the guests chance to get up and circulate, and also obtain the food they want, the bride and groom and respective parents, would normally be served at their table, which would be at the front, facing the guests, during this, the MCEE Would perhaps sing a number, or discuss trivia about the grooms country, in our case, the groom gave some facts about London, and things that are customary in the UK, this gives the guests chance to relax.

The Veil and Cord

The veil and cord sponsors, (secondary sponsors) would carry out their role to wrap the cord in a figure of eight over the bride and groom during the ceremony, this is symbolic in that it represents, oneness in the marriage, the veil is also pinned between the bride and groom, to indefinately link the two during the marriage ceremony, thus rendering the marrying couple one body throughout their lives until death

Tossing the Brides Bouquet

The Bride would normally be invited to toss her bouquet similarly to Western receptions, in this case, the MCEE would normally invite all the single ladies in the room, this could be in most cases, freinds of the bride or the brides work colleagues, and there are usually lots of those around, the bride would toss the bouquet over her head and the one who catches the bouquet gets to keep it.

The Garter Ceremony.

The MCEE will then invite all married men to gather in a circle, music will be played and the garter must be passed around, rather like pass the parcel, during this time, when the music stops, the married man who has the garter will then have to call out his wife, who will come and sit in the chair provided, the married man must then place the garter on his wifes leg, and is invited to rise it up the leg, then the married man, will be handed a bouquet of fresh flowers, which will be given to his wife

The Giveaways

After all of these events have concluded guests will be invited to collect a give-away, this is a token of the bride and grooms gratitude to the guests for coming to their wedding, the wedding token or give/away is a small momento, along the theme of the wedding, it could be a small wedding couple, built on a house, or something very small, but unique to the wedding, they are normally made out of soft wood, and highly decorated, the Wedding Co-ordinator will call out the numbers and the guests will come and collect their give-away.

Table Hopping and Sociliazing

The Newly Marrieds will then be invited to table hop, this involves going to each table to introduce each other to any guests who are not personally acquainted with the groom, at this time a photograph will be taken of each table, where the bride and groom will pose behind the table, the reception is now drawing to a close, the bride will want to go around and talk with various freinds, relatives and thank them for coming, at this time, the bride and groom will be retiring to their wedding suite and to enjoy perhaps some well earned rest, as by now, the day has been very tiring for them both, also at this time, the bride will want to inspect the various wedding gifts that have been left on the wedding gift table, and these will be taken to the brides suite to be opened, the bride and groom will then go to the suite to open their gifts.

If you require any further information about Filipino weddings, please be sure to mail us, and we will endeavour to reply in 72 hours, hit the mail icon below.