Filipina for you

With e-mail, text pals and the Internet it is easy to meet young ladies in the Philippines and establish relationships, If you join one of these services, providing it is a reputable one, you may feel it is the best way for you to go, followed by a trip. A trip to the Philippines does not cost much, and marriage can be for a life time, or should be. There is no divorce there. Filipina's can join introduction services without any charge, that is good and it is also bad, you men of course have to pay a membership fee, You may be writing to several women. They may be writing to dozens of men. Getting involved in any romantic relationship is always fraught with pitfalls. But for some, it is worth the risk, you may feel that also. In a relationship built in a text-based environment, without visual clues, the people involved tend to fill in the blanks with desired attributes of the other person that often turn out to be inaccurate. The person you are writing to may only have the qualities you see in a text box because you bestowed them on her in your mind. If you are reading this after having already established a romantic relationship with a Filipina, I am sure you are saying, "My girl isn't like that. Crossing cultures is hazardous, and using a text-based environment to become emotionally attached to someone increases the chances of a failed relationship. But there is no guarantee any way you do it. Common sense is your best guide to finding a Filipina bride, a Filipina wife for life who is happy and you can make happier.

The photo to the left is my Gina outside the Hong Kong Space Museum For obvious reasons, in the first few weeks Gina and I were both cautious about each other, she had heard stories about Western Men, and I had heard stories about Philippine women.
Filipina's Who Multiple date !!
So how can you and (her) be protected from a bad situation ! the answer is this - "If anything sounds to good to be true, it probably is ?" Read below some of the help points that I know have been a protection for many, these help points do work, so use them, sometimes everything is genuine, and at others, nothing is what it seems ? What can you do to narrow down the chances of a heartache, and how can you lower the risk of falling prey to a fortune hunter, or a scam relationship ? well you can draw on the advice of those of us who have done this, I have written this list of help points after travelling to the Philippines,over 2 years, but I have to say that scammers and dumpers are my favourites, so lets cover those !
It's very easy for you to be scammed by a Filipina, if she is intent on scamming you, look at the photo at the top left, like it says "No one can tell you are a dog on the internet."
If your relationship starts via an introduction agency, this is often the best way to make contact, but remember of course their is little protection against scammers, however I would recommend that if you feel not everything is at is seems, then try some of my tips, if you are on yahoo, try and log in using an alternative screen name and hail them for a chat, see (if) or how quickly they start to get fresh with you, or start to be "Malandi" (A Filipina who is Mahinhin will not be Malandi) Malandi is flirting and is to be frowned upon in Philippine Society. Most of the scammer girls have so many men chatting that they might be caught off guard by your approach, they will just think you saw them before in a chat room. whilst it may seem underhand to be doing this just remember you are courting in cyberspace, like many have said, It's a new world we live in, and we have to adapt to the world of cyber dating !!! Its easy to catch a filipina out who has several men chatting throughout the week, she simply forgets who she is speaking to, and drops things out, like a sentence in a message that clearly was NOT meant for you, she may be chatting to several guys in the USA as well. This is where she will generally forget to switch chat windows, and type something to you that she was thinking went to someone else.
Another thing to look for is how their English in chats and texts matches up with their English when you speak in person or on the phone. Lots of girls have their English fluent friends (amigas) helping them chat. If she has a well spoken Amiga working the cafe with her, be wary of this, she is probably looking to scam you out of £50.00 ($90.00) a month for as long as she can, stories of broken roofs, school fees, and poverty problems will soon have you feeling sorry for them.
You should be also aware of short time hotel girls or prosti's as they are known in the Philippines, also known as "Bar girls" and Guest relations officers, (GRO'S) Sometimes these are some of the most beautiful Filipina's, that is why they are rich pickings for the Philippines thriving sex industry. A short time hotel girl, will sometimes form internet relationships in her spare time to entice you to come and visit her, if she is doing this to you, she is doing it to lots of other men around Europe and the USA, "You are the only one for me honey" is put around as fast as the Flu ! she can only make good money if lots of men come to see her, if she is smart at this, and they normally are, she will make reservations to see lots of men who may be in Manila or other cities for a couple of weeks, if she is even more careful, she will prefer to be your guide and companion for a couple of weeks, sleep with you, and extort money in lots of imaginative ways.

Here is my plan to help you reduce the risk of getting scammed by a 'rogue' Filipina !! don't take anyone of these in isolation, the red flag for me would come up, once there is a combination of these together.

I would shy away from ladies that seem to be too internet proficient, how long have they been doing this for ? Have they had relationships with foreign men like this before ? what happened ? Why is she still doing this ? or least watch them "very closely." Why are they so proficient at using the internet?
I strongly suggest use of a Web camera during chat sessions, sometimes you can actually see them typing and your not getting messages. Some girls are really fast typers and can chat with several guys at one time. With a cam, it also helps to verify that they are "actually girls." Many men impersonate women on the internet. Getting messages that don't seem to pertain to your conversation. Sometimes they get their "wires crossed" and forget to switch windows.
If your girl has a cellphone she should pretty much be reachable at anytime. If you suspect something is not quite right you get a feeling quickly, go with your head !! not your heart, So call at different times if she makes excuses, or says "I cant talk now" or "its a bad time for me" that is a red flag ! ( A Filipina who is interested in you will never do that !) it could be that she is trying to avoid you, if she is, then make your own conclusions, it maybe that she is trying to string you along, or it could be that she is also getting close to another man and is seeing if that develops, whilst playing for time in case it doesn't and wishes to retain you as an alternative, its not very nice I agree !
Requests for money. A nice Filipina usually has a very hard time doing this, it is unlikely a Filipina who is Mahinhin will lower herself to asking for money in the first instance, only when you offer to help will it be gratefully recieved.
Check out their profiles to see how long they have had it. New profiles could translate into a new scam, though this is not always the case.
Ask lots of questions, and archive all chats, e-mails for review at a later date. Plus if your relationship lasts, you will need these to help support a "Evidence of relationship" if you decided to marry her.
Get to know the family, and neighbours. Though sometimes they will lie too, but more so the family, if their is a scam going down, its likely they are in on it too, I know of one case where this happened to a freind of mine, the whole experience cost him £15,000 of his life savings, be smart, dont get caught out.
Multiple screen names: if she has more than two it can be a "red flag." She might ask you to switch to her "other screen name." This can be a bad sign, it might be innocent, and she might just want to reserve one for you, and one for freinds, but its a bad sign nevertheless, as I said if she has any more than two at the most, ask why ? why does she need lots of screen names ? I only have one ? most people do ! why does she need so many ? generally the only reason someone needs lots of screen names is to prevent people from knowing they are online when they are doing something inapropriate.
If and when you decide to send her money, if she seems "to familiar with knowing how you can send money ?" that could be a red flag. This would indicate she has received money before ... why? where was it from ? which country, who sent it ? relative or much more importantly is it another Western Man ? that is obviously the ultimate red flag.
Before you go off to see her if you are in any doubt as to her age, and she is a very young Filipina, be careful !! ask to see her age on a Birth Cert. No exceptions .... One of the biggest scams going on right now is under age girls setting up guys and extorting money from them so they don't have to go to jail. The parents are "in" on this. See Philippine Travelers for an article on this.
Be very wary of her telling you she loves you after a few days, or blowing kisses, or discussing sex with you on the net, she is too malandi ! (flirt)
Wanting to come to United Kingdom to be with you, Though this is not a guarantee she is a scammer, but a girl in love with "you" would be happy having you move to her country too, if her motive is to be with "you."
Do they work? Where does their chat money come from? they might be unemployed, their is a 9 per cent rate in the Philippines, how does she support herself.
Talking sex ... Most genuine ladies will not discuss sex with a man, maybe they will later if a relationship is in "Magkasintahan" (the lovers) but not in the first few weeks of a freindship on the net.
Refusing to talk openly about past relationships if any, what is she hiding ? why so evasive ? has there been other Western men ? has she been engaged ? what happened ? if she has been engaged before, and didnt go through with it, this is a red flag, its very unlikely for a Filipina to become engaged, and the marriage did not take place.
Does she go to church regularly? And does she live her life by what she says she believes? although you will not be able to guage this until you know her.
Check her out .. have a friend try and get next to her, and she if she responds positively to his advances. (this is underhand I know, but only use this one with your best freind, if you suspect her of chatting to several men all around the world).
Does she think about you and your needs just as much as you think about hers, is she a "me-me" person, or does she worry about you too, and how you are getting on ?
Does she "pressure" you in any way? for example requests for money are coming frequently.
Does she treat others with respect? her parents, friends,authority figures ? Look for signs of inconsistency, and expect to be treated the way she treats "others" after your relationship "settles in."
How does she seem to handle money? a honest and good marriage partner in the Philippines will try to prevent you from spending money she thinks is unnecessary, even when she is the recipient of it.
Does she appear to be "focused" on money, status, materialism, or image? If so these values are superficial, beware ! Finally, does she appear to have a noble character, be truth- worthy, is she helpful, have humility, sees you as a Lord, is she industrious, does she plan ahead for possible problems, does she build people "up" or tear them down, does she have a happy, well-adjusted personality, and again ... is she praised and respected by family and friends? and more importantly her work associates.

Hope this helps .... but remember the only guarantee is ... there are "no guarantee's, but let me now turn to "Dumpers" in this next section.

Economic Migration Scams - The Dump Truck Filipina !
Dumpers are actually in my mind the worst kind of Filipina's since their object in life is to scam you out of your desire to be happy, and in my mind there is nothing more despicable than someone who does that ! also this often costs you your life savings, these Filipina's I would love to catch out and have them deported the minute they get caught, I would like to see them driven to Heathrow Airport and booted on to the next plane to Manila and then arrested by the Philipine National Police on arrival, sadly, the authorities in UK have little mechanisms in place to act, and by the time a Dumper is detected its too late, some times all the tell-tale signs are there for you to see if you see them, the problem with getting emotionally involved with the opposite sex long distance is that love is blind, what freinds or relatives often see clearly, you will fail to see, because you are blinded by someone who keeps telling you that you are "Gwapo" and says "Honey I cant wait to be with you".
A Dumper is often is a Filipina who has already worked out a scam with her family, she will have been fully briefed about domestic abuse laws in the UK or the U.S.A. she seeks to enter into a relationship with a foreign man for the purposes of economic migration, and once having been given entry clearance to the United Kingdom, or of course to Western Europe or the U.S.A. will simply make your life one living hell, she is only interested in one thing, extorting money from you, to provide for her family in the Philippines at your expense.
Stage 1 - The Tampo Phase
You may notice at the Airport when she arrives in UK, if she cannot keep up the act, she will be muttering or belligerent, or if she is good, she will wait for a few days, of settling in to your home, she will start to change her attitude towards you, by being awkward, saying no to you when you ask her to do things, showing little or no interest in what you are both doing, moving to other parts of the house when you are around, you will detect straight away that she is not happy, you see its hard to keep up the act now, she is with you, not online, or texting or taking a phone call, now you see her body language.
Stage 2 - The Doodler Phase
Then she will start to display tantrum style behaviour, or Tampo, then she will move on to other ways of annoying you, like asking for money for silly things, then she might start giving the game away, by doodling on paper, hanging around doing nothing, not helping out with the housework, or not being a wife to you, (this is easy to spot) finally you snap and she will then hope that you will strike her, or get you into such a mood, that makes you want to.
Stage 3- The "Husband is beating me up syndrome"
By now she is looking for that Golden opportunity of you hitting her, thats all she is waiting for, if you do loose your cool with her, then she will probably run out to a neighbour and tell them that you are being abusive, "My husband/fiance is beating me" will often be heard, this is all carefully planned, the Filipina has no intention of living with you, if the neighbours dont call the Police, she will, and then when they come, its on record, that its a domestic abuse call, The Police will record the call even if no action is taken, (that is what she is up to !!) trying to get it on record.
She will repeatedly try and get the Police out to your home, each time they come, its a record on their database, this is known as Police Intelligence and A History of Domestic Abuse calls now its all on their database, if she is even better briefed, she will then try and run away continuously, and will say "I am in fear of my life" "My husband/fiance is beating me up", it doesnt have to be true for this scam to work, very often the Police will just come and console you both, and try and talk to her, they will be reluctant to do anything especially when you yourself assure them that you don't understand why she is doing this, most of the time the Police will simply see straight through her, and tell you that she is just using you, for one thing, unless she has visible injuries of abuse, her claims will not be taken seriously.

Very often her scam will fail right here, Police will tell you she is a "user" and its unlikely her scam will go any further, sometimes it may go to Stage 4, but its unlikely, she will simply just wait until she meets another Filipina and tell her and her husband, that you are a "Pig" and you are abusing her, very often she finds refuge with them, and dissapears, you come home after work to find that she and all her clothes have gone, if you are a lucky a note, or even luckier still a number where you can reach her
If she arrived on a fiancee visa, its only a temporary 6 month visa she will have been briefed not to bother pulling this scam, as she is liable for deportation or removal on that visa, the worse situation is if she is married to you, which is more likely the case, then at least she has a 2 year temporary residency visa, which has to be adjusted after 2 years, if you are still living togther, all she has bought herself, is a 2 year visa, you can of course immedeatly inform the Home Office, that may prevent her from adjusting status, and make her liable to deportation after 2 years. She may simply ignore that, and start working somewhere, she will be able to, as she is entitled to a National Insurance Number on a 2 year residency visa, she will probably not be able to adjust status to full residency without evidence that you are still living together
She of course will not be able to return to the Philippines, and then come back to UK, so she is stuck in UK, or if she goes back, she is stuck there too, she will most likely stay in UK indefinately, working to provide for her family back in the Philippines, you of course cannot get a divorce from her until 12 months have elapsed, which is frustrating, but then after 12 months you can divorce her, but dont be suprised if she has already started divorce proceedings against you, I know its incredible, but it happens, you are well rid of her, if it does get to Stage 4 here it is.
Stage 4
If she is on birth control you may also get caught out, and another scam is for her to get pregnant, she may not be taking the birth control, she has again been briefed as to the Children Act of 1982 the object of her scam here, is for you to be asked to leave your home for the night, by Police to calm the situation, and if heavens forbid, this happens after a pregnancy, you may find yourself homeless, this is of course again all planned, to get you out of your home, she may then rely on advices of neighbours who take pity on her, (a strange country, a different culture, a new language, you know the drill "!) She will be advised to see a solicitor this is where the fun starts, immedeatly she does so, she will be entitled to full legal aid, whereas you will not get it, she will then be in the realms of the legal aid commission who will authorize her to receive up to £5000.00 of aid and then just about every emergency petition will be issued against you such as:

Application for Ancilliary relief to include lump sum payments, regular payments.
Application for residency in the matrimonial home.
Application for temporary restraining order against you.
Application for Non Molestation order against you.
Application to register interest in your property through a Class F Land charge.

Her object now is to obtain sole occupancy of your home, although if you are the sole owner, (heavens forbid that you are in a council house !) its unlikely her applications will suceed, the Judge will see right through her, that she is a foreigner just arrived in country, and by then you will have instructed a Solicitor to act for you, advising Counsel will put your objections to this, and her case will fail although just be careful, her real object of course is to scam you out of maintenance for her, and for any child, this scam tends to happen after a child is born, these types will go through a sexual relationship with you and even have a baby, long before they try this one, seems weird to me, this happens mainly in the U.S.A. I have to say, I know of only one case where it has happened in UK, and the Judge saw through her straight away, and she ended up leaving the home and moving away. In the USA the domestic abuse laws are slightly different in that they take a more dramatic view and thats why some American husbands get caught out far more easily.
There Are Tens Of Thousands Of Men Just Like You Looking For Love, Companionship, Romance And A New Life With The Woman Of Their Dreams.

If you are looking for that special girl to spend the rest of your life with then Filipina 101 is the best resource you are going to find with everything you need to know to find the Filipina of your dreams. Listen as an expert tells you how to find your Filipina dream girl.

If you have tried dating local women then you know how dismal the singles scene at home can be. Being rejected by women that make you feel like a second class citizen just for asking for a dance! Being treated like Sh*t. and when you do find a woman… too many of them come with their own emotional baggage from previous relationships that will poison any chance you might have for a new chance at life. At home the odds are stacked against the average guy - with Filipinas things are the opposite. At the very least most of them have never been married before so you aren't falling for someone else's ex-wife!

Filipinas are not the docile and submissive women so often depicted in the stereotypical "Mail Order Bride" misconception that is as insulting to you as it is to her. However, they are looking for a man who acts like a man and treats them like a lady. This “old fashioned” approach to roles in relationships is built on mutual respect. Many men prefer this more traditional relationship to the so called egalitarian model demanded by more “liberated” western women.

Filipinas are more tolerant and even blind when it comes to a man being older, overweight and less than perfect. They look beyond that but they demand more in leadership from their man as the head of the family.

For those of you who have been through the trauma of divorce and suffered at the hands of our family courts, relax! Yes there are scammers out there. This book will help you detect them and avoid them, at the very least minimize the damage they may cause you. Remember, the vast majority of Filipinas are genuine, loving and marry FOR LIFE!

Filipinas are more traditional than many western women when it comes to marriage. They are marrying for life as divorce does not exist in the Philippines except as the long and expensive process known as annulment. British-Filipino marriages, or Fil-Foreigner, have a much higher success rate than many other combinations.

There is someone for everyone in this world and in the Philippines, there may just be more than one beautiful, loving loyal and devoted Filipina waiting to meet you! Increase your chances of winning the Filipina of your dreams, knowledge truly is Power!

magine how good it will be to have someone waiting for you when you arrive home after work. Someone who greets you at the door with a warm smile and has lovingly prepared the evening meal. Your home is clean and tidy and there is nothing more for you to do than relax and enjoy the evening together.

Summary: Gina and I are very mindful of the pitfalls concerning long distance relationships, more so in a world of bits and bytes, there are no guarantees when entering into these type of freindships, there is little or no protection against the above scams, very often the filipina is in on this with her family, you are up against all of them, she will go through with it to the end, and if it doesnt succeed she will just dissapear into the system, by attaching herself to another Filipina and her family, and then find somewhere to live, at least you are well rid of her, We sincerely hope that everything works out for you as it did for us, finding a "Filipina for you" can be an arduous and difficult task, Most of the time you will get lucky but just being aware of the worst kind of Filipina helps, we hope this information really does go some way to making that trip a little easier for you, best wishes to all of those couples who come behind us.

Have you taken a look at Boracay yet ?or have you checked out Thailand ? or fancy a day out to the Province of Bohol

Advice with Selecting a Filipina for you !

Cautionary Tales - The Good The bad and the scammers

What Should I avoid ?

There Are Tens Of Thousands Of Men Just Like You Looking For Love, Companionship, Romance And A New Life With The Woman Of Their Dreams.